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Colonoscopy Journal..(SOME HUMOR)
Miami Herald ^ | 03/29/11 | Dave Barry

Posted on 03/29/2011 11:59:03 AM PDT by Doogle

Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenteritis, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

(Excerpt) Read more at miamiherald.com ...


TOPICS: Agriculture; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: mining
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...some funny stuff here for those of us who been through it, just a hint for those looking forward to it.

Enjoy!

1 posted on 03/29/2011 11:59:04 AM PDT by Doogle
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To: Doogle

This 52 year old has a colon of a 26 year old. Dang proud of it too. Wanna see pictures? Got them right here in my wallet.


2 posted on 03/29/2011 12:05:30 PM PDT by NavyCanDo
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To: Doogle
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenteritis, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy ...

I call friends to help me move things, go to the range, hit the bars.

Calling a friend to arrange ANYTHING concerning my exit would be construed as a breach of code.

3 posted on 03/29/2011 12:07:06 PM PDT by NativeSon
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To: Doogle
Already have had X3. Colon cancer killed my Dad and it wasn't a pretty sight, so, if you've put off having the ‘scope’, please make an appointment and git ‘er done.
4 posted on 03/29/2011 12:07:25 PM PDT by JPG ("2012 Can't Come Soon Enough" - Sarah Palin)
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To: NavyCanDo
This 52 year old has a colon of a 26 year old.

What? have you been rooting in Gary Heidnik's freezer?

5 posted on 03/29/2011 12:12:13 PM PDT by NativeSon
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To: Doogle

bump


6 posted on 03/29/2011 12:14:56 PM PDT by mel (I DONATE to FR monthly...Do You?????)
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To: JPG

Got’er done a few years ago. Scary results that end up with me rushed to and admitted to a hospital that morning. Blockage that the Dr. was afraid could be cancer, turned out after an extensive opperation to be non cancerous. Wooo Hooo! Have had two colonoscopies since and all was good! Spent a week in the hospital after the surgery and months recovering at home. Walking and other activity was very painful. I am free and clear and the next test is two years down the road. Damn nasty stuff to drink ( force down) the day before!


7 posted on 03/29/2011 12:16:43 PM PDT by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: Doogle
I'm 63 and I've had four. He nails it on the prep.

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
8 posted on 03/29/2011 12:20:23 PM PDT by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN '69 - St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle!)
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To: NativeSon
Calling a friend to arrange ANYTHING concerning my exit would be construed as a breach of code.

Calling a friend for such things is probably stretching the bonds of friendship...

...among other things.

9 posted on 03/29/2011 12:20:29 PM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: NavyCanDo

Mine is scheduled for the 2nd week in May. Wheeeee.


10 posted on 03/29/2011 12:22:58 PM PDT by Quix (Times are a changin' INSURE you have believed in your heart & confessed Jesus as Lord Come NtheFlesh)
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To: Doogle
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenteritis

Don't make friends with swollen intestines. They rarely do anything good for you like lend you a car or watch your kids. Maybe Dave should make more friends with gastroenterologists instead.

11 posted on 03/29/2011 12:24:01 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! Tea Party extremism is a badge of honor.)
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To: Doogle

Dave Barry is one of the greatest humor columnists for a generation.


12 posted on 03/29/2011 12:28:58 PM PDT by cornfedcowboy (Trust in God, but empty the clip.)
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To: Doogle

Now you don’t have to do the MediPrep. If you can tolerate pills (LOTS of pills) there’s a prep that has you downing pills, instead of the MediPrep. Worked great for me, but don’t forget to drink tons of liquids, if you decide to take that route.


13 posted on 03/29/2011 12:31:25 PM PDT by Hoffer Rand (There ARE two Americas: "God's children" and the tax payers)
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To: Doogle

I’m 58 and have had four of them, the preparation is far worse than the procedure - don’t put it off if you’re getting older.


14 posted on 03/29/2011 12:32:12 PM PDT by dainbramaged ( I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live-Socrates)
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To: Doogle

“I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenteritis”

If I called my friend an enflamed gut, he might resent it.


15 posted on 03/29/2011 12:35:14 PM PDT by dangerdoc (see post #6)
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To: Quix
Mine is scheduled for the 2nd week in May. Wheeeee.

Don't worry, you will probably survive it. The best advice I got was drink the laxative through a straw. That way it bypasses the tastebuds. Of course, I got this advice the day after my prep as the nurse was readying me for the procedure itself. But I'll remember it for next time...ten years from now.

16 posted on 03/29/2011 12:36:54 PM PDT by K-Stater
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To: Doogle

(Holy beep! Dave Barry is 60????)

Too funny, too true!

My first, some time ago... I was dating
a retired Army Drill Sargraent at the time, who
promised the DOCTOR he would get me there.

Literally, he broke down the bathroom door
to get me into the car - I was petrified.

Afterwards, the doc told me that in 10,000 patients,
I was his worst.

That said, Xanax will get you through or to anything,
even your next colonoscopy.

Dave’s right, go get one.


17 posted on 03/29/2011 12:37:41 PM PDT by CaptainPhilFan
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To: Doogle

A homosexual acquaintance of mine reported difficulty overcoming the anesthetic used for his colonoscopy.

Hmmmm........


18 posted on 03/29/2011 12:46:06 PM PDT by Uncle Miltie (The 0bamaNation of America slides toward death as planned.)
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To: K-Stater

THANKS.

I have large straws from Taipei that should help.


19 posted on 03/29/2011 12:46:22 PM PDT by Quix (Times are a changin' INSURE you have believed in your heart & confessed Jesus as Lord Come NtheFlesh)
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To: Hoffer Rand
Now you don’t have to do the MediPrep. If you can tolerate pills (LOTS of pills) there’s a prep that has you downing pills, instead of the MediPrep.

THANK GOD! I'm going to ask for that next time. I could not get that MediPrep stuff down. I was gagging. I was afraid I'd just throw it up and so it wouldn't do any good. I'd rather take a whole bushel basket of pills than drink that crap again.

20 posted on 03/29/2011 12:54:22 PM PDT by Nea Wood (Silly liberal . . . paychecks are for workers!)
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