***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

Politicians say the dumbest things....

• "I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go."" --Barack Obama
  
  
• "UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It's the Post Office that's always having problems." --Barack Obama
  
  
• "The Cambridge police acted stupidly." --Barack Obama
  
  
• "The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system." --Barack Obama
  
  
• "Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel's. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under a McCain...administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under an Obama administration. So that policy is not going to change." --Barack Obama
  
  
• "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong." --Barack Obama
  
  
• "In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed." --Barack Obama on a Kansas tornado that killed 12 people
  
  
• “The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.” --Barack Obama
  
  
• "And my administration has been in close contact with our Egyptian counterparts and a broad range of the Egyptian people, as well as others across the region and across the globe. And throughout this period, we've stood for a set of core principles. --Barack Obama
  
  
  

  It’s tough to narrow down what exactly the dumbest thing that Harry Reid has ever said. Some candidates?

  Option 1: “When we start talking about the debt, the first thing people do is run to Social Security.  Social Security is a program that works and it’s going to be fully funded for the next 40 years…No, it’s not a crisis.  This is something that’s perpetuated by people who don’t like government.  Social Security’s fine.”

  Option 2: “Our system of government is a voluntary tax system… Of course you have to pay them.”

  Option 3: “That this war is lost and that the surge is not accomplishing anything as indicated by the extreme violence.”

  Option 4: “I am going to go back to Washington and meet with the President of China. He is a dictator. He can do a lot of things through the form of government they have. Maybe I shouldn’t have said dictator, but they have a different type of government then we have, and that is an understatement,”

  Option 5: "My staff tells me not to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway, in the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it's true."

  Option 6: “I don’t know how anyone of Hispanic heritage could be a Republican, okay?  Do I need to say more?”

  Option 7: "When Obama replaced George W. Bush in the White House he found himself in a "hole so deep that he couldn't see the outside world. It was like the Chilean miners, but he, being the man he is, rolled up his sleeves and said 'I am going to get us out of this hole,'"

  Option 8: "I think it would take a real stretch to think that I caused the problems with the economy."

  Option 9: "So people have been hurting and I understand that. And it doesn't give them comfort or solace for me to tell them, you know, but for me, we would be in a worldwide depression."

  Option 10: "A ''light skinned'' African-American ''with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.''

  
  
  • "But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy. --Nancy Pelosi
    
    
  • "Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs." --Nancy Pelosi
    
    
  • "I have deep emotions about the American people. If I were to cry for anything, I would cry for them and the policies that they're about to face." -- Nancy Pelosi
    
    
  • “They ask me all the time, ‘What is your favorite this? What is your favorite that? What is your favorite that?’ And one time, ‘What is your favorite word?’ And I said, ‘My favorite word? That is really easy. My favorite word is the Word, is the Word. And that is everything. It says it all for us. And you know the biblical reference, you know the Gospel reference of the Word.” “And that Word is, we have to give voice to what that means in terms of public policy that would be in keeping with the values of the Word. The Word. Isn’t it a beautiful word when you think of it? It just covers everything. The Word. Fill it in with anything you want. But, of course, we know it means: ‘The Word was made flesh and dwelt amongst us.’ And that’s the great mystery of our faith. He will come again. He will come again. So, we have to make sure we’re prepared to answer in this life, or otherwise, as to how we have measured up.” --Nancy Pelosi
    
    
    
  • "You know, we have three branches of government. We have a House. We have a Senate. We have a president." --Chuck Schumer
    
    
  • ''Now, they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.'' --Ex-Congressman Eric Massa
    
    
  • ''It's like Goebbels. Goebbels invented this kind of propaganda.'' --Jerry Brown
    
    
  • 'Why would you want to put people in charge of government who just don't want to do it? I mean, you wouldn't expect to see al Qaeda members as pilots.'' —Rep. Alan Grayson
    
    
  • ''My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.'' --Rep. Hank Johnson
    
    
  • 'See, Barack's been talking down to black people on this faith-based...I want to cut his nuts off.'' --Jesse Jackson
    
    
  • “I love these members, they get up and say, ‘Read the bill. What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?" --John Conyers
    
    
  • ''What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?'' --Marion Barry
    
    
  • ''Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.'' --Marion Barry
    
    
  • ''Take your f**king tampon out and tell me what you have to say.'' --White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, addressing a male staffer during a meeting, as reported in the book 'The Promise' by Newsweek's Jonathan Alter
    
    
  • ''I'm going to kill that f**king dog.'' --White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, on First Dog Bo Obama, as reported in the book 'The Promise' by Newsweek's Jonathan Alter
    
    
  • ''F**king retarded.'' --White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, scolding liberal groups planning to air ads attacking conservative Democrats who were balking at Mr. Obama's health care overhaul
    
    
    
    
  • "This is a big f***ing deal!" --Joe Biden
    
    
  • "His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she's- wait- your mom's still- your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul." --Joe Biden
    
    
  • "I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. … When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway." --Joe Biden
    
    
  • "If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there's still a 30% chance we're going to get it wrong." --Joe Biden
    
    
  • "You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking." --Joe Biden
    
    
  • "Now, people when I say that look at me and say, 'What are you talking about, Joe? You're telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?'. The answer is yes, that's what I'm telling you. --Joe Biden
    
    
  • "When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened." --Joe Biden
    
    
  • "Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs." --Joe Biden
    
    
  • "A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!" --Joe Biden,
    
    
  • "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." –Joe Biden
    
    
  • "Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." –-Joe Biden,
    
    

[Lucky9teen]

And now for some cartoons:




 

[Lucky9teen]

---

He...he...heh....heh.....
You said PACKERS!!

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

---

[CPOSharky]

IBTP?

[BibChr]

Ha! Top Five!

(c:

[CPOSharky]

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re beautiful.’ Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re cute..’ The wife was disappointed because instead of ‘beautiful,’ it was now ‘cute.’

She asked, ‘What happened to beautiful?’

The man replied, ‘The drugs are wearing off.’

[DollyCali]

Morning all.. TGIF!

Love your posts you creative, devilish kindred spirits!

I don’t post often(understatement) but always enjoy the humor & attitude adjustment when I visit.

have wonderful weekend!

[cake_crumb]

Nice work!

[verga]

Top 10

[equaviator]

"and in 5 years, you're gonna be BLOWN AWAY!"

[Monkey Face]

TOP 11!

[Pan_Yan]

My Esteemed Friend,

You were referred to me on the interweb as a person of great integrity whom i could trust with a most important request. Let me make myself introduced. I am an attorney representing a very important person in a small country on the Arabian penninsula. We'll call him Ali A.S. Ali is having issues in his present position and would like to relocate his operations to the Great Satan United States. To do this Ali needs to transfer a large sum of "start up capital" out of the country. However, due to recent troubles with security he is unable to relocate this capital by the traditional methods (camel train).

This is where I am seeking your assistance. For your compliance in relocating 1,000,000,000 U.S. dollars of military aid start up capital I am authorrized to offer you a great portion of the funds, or almost 5,000,000 of U.S. dollars.

If you are able to assist Ali he would be most grateful. If you can help please reply to this correspondance with your bank account number and social security number.

Several of your friends on the interweb from such honorable sites as Democratic Underground and the Daily KOS have already offered to help and sent the requested information. Do not miss your chance to join them in great wealth and fame.

Most humbly yours,
Achmed B. Smielley, Esq.
Allah Akbar

My Esteemed Friend,

You were referred to me on the interweb as a person of great integrity whom i could trust with a most important request. Let me make myself introduced. I am an attorney representing a very important person in a small country on the Arabian penninsula. We'll call him Ali A.S. Ali is having issues in his present position and would like to relocate his operations to the Great Satan United States. To do this Ali needs to transfer a large sum of "start up capital" out of the country. However, due to recent troubles with security he is unable to relocate this capital by the traditional methods (camel train).

This is where I am seeking your assistance. For your compliance in relocating 1,000,000,000 U.S. dollars of military aid start up capital I am authorrized to offer you a great portion of the funds, or almost 5,000,000 of U.S. dollars.

If you are able to assist Ali he would be most grateful. If you can help please reply to this correspondance with your bank account number and social security number.

Several of your friends on the interweb from such honorable sites as Democratic Underground and the Daily KOS have already offered to help and sent the requested information. Do not miss your chance to join them in great wealth and fame.

Most humbly yours,
Achmed B. Smielley, Esq.
Allah Akbar

[martin_fierro]

[martin_fierro]

[Heartlander]

Franchise Opportunity:

A friend of mine just started his own business.

He manufactures land mines that look like prayer mats.

It's doing well.

He says prophets are going through the roof.

[Logic n' Reason]

Ping for later....

[Dead Corpse]

[Dead Corpse]

[Dead Corpse]

[petercooper]

bttt