Time For Some FRunnies: Actual Comments From South Carolina Troopers To Stupid Drivers

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[MindBender26]

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right lady, we don't. Sign here."

[TankerKC]

The cops have 'heard it all' and it has been my experience that if you MAN UP to the DEED, and admit you were breaking the 'law', they will usually give you some kind of break.

Mine has been the exact opposite.

[DManA]

Seems like it would be a good idea to laugh at his joke.

"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

BWAAAA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHHAAAA!!!

You really think that is the best way to reaction to a threat like that? I think its a good way to get a pair of handcuffs on ya and a trip in the back of a cruiser.

[UCANSEE2]

Mine has been the exact opposite.

But you're not talking about a simple speeding ticket, are you?

[UCANSEE2]

I would answer your question if I could figure out why a cop giving me a speeding ticket would make a joke about shooting me.

[TankerKC]

But you're not talking about a simple speeding ticket, are you?

A couple of speeding tickets (no more that 10mph over) and an illegal u-turn. I never make excuses, and I *always* get the ticket...even when I was active duty military.

Well, nearly always...I have been pulled over 6 or 7 times (estimate) in my life and only been given a warning once. The others were all tickets...to include one for 20 in a 15mph zone.