Posted on 11/26/2010 1:01:50 PM PST by Monster Zero
Hypothetical scenario:
A guy and his wife go to see her family for a holiday. It's a mostly cordial day, spent eating, talking about firearms and collectibles and other things of common interests.
One thing the guy notices, though, is that his MIL, who isn't a football fan, makes it a point to ask him, "What did you think about the Vikings cutting Randy Moss?"
Now this is an innocent question on its face, right? Problem is, this MIL has a habit of asking this same question over and over: "What do you think about..." and then fill in the name of a supposedly bad person like Randy Moss, Joran VanDerSloot, Michael Schiavo, et al. And always so politely and conversationally.
The best counter to such questions is to answer with a counter-question.
Example What do you think about...?
Answer, I have thought little about it, what do you think about...?
Jump in at any time, If the question is directed at the Son-in-law, just turn the question on the Mother in Law,
asking her about what some scumbag ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America) did lately. Remind her that there are thousands leaving the ELCA every day over their ordaining of practicing homosexuals to minister to the flock. Some are becoming Catholics, most are going to the Missouri Synod.
Eventually they will stop this tactic but make them answer first, don’t let the questioner getaway with asking and not answering.
Here are some things to do next time you're asked:
Lick the closest domesticated animal.
Wink
Offer to answer only after a beer bong.
say, "I just watched a porno that used that line, did you see it too?"
Offer to demonstrate fire coming out your third chakra.
Quote Alfred E. Newman in Shakespearean voice.
Quote Shakespeare in Scooby Doo voice.
Ask her to double-dutch hopscotch with you. Immediately say "what?" Then repeat over and over until they laugh and say, "oh, you got me."
I could go on, but you get the idea.
Repeatedly asking the same question is an interrogation technique designed to reveal deception. The detainee is only required to furnish name, rank and service number.
On one hand she could be the epitome of evil.
On the other hand maybe she knows something, not a lot, about that person and wants to start a conversation. Or maybe just maybe she really values and wants to know your opinion.
Sounds as if at least part of the answer resides within yourself.
"Oh, that's an interesting question--BTW, when did you start taking an interest in football? I thought you dind't care for the game."
Ball is now back in her court.
Sometimes you just gotta spice up a Thanksgiving dinner with some memorable conversation.
Imagine sitting around with family and inlaws composed of conservatives, RINOs, Democrats, libertarians, hard-core communists, Bible-thumpers, atheists, a church lady, a floozie, and Uncle Bob fresh in from Paddy's Pub ... and everybody's just sitting around watching to see who grabs for the last drumstick.
You just gotta say something like ...
"God Bless Sarah Palin" -- that'll work.
Could be very innocent. She could have heard the name because it was controversial and wanted to engage in a conversation she thought would be relevent and interesting to you as a man. You did state she generally shows no interest in this area?
Presume she is trying to be friendly and relate to you and does not have ulterior motives to piss you off. You will enjoy the evening more if you leave your trip wire at home and try to relate back.
signed - a mother in law......(who gets along well with her son-in-law but watches her daughter set off at the slightest comment from her own mother-in -law. In that case, it is an insecurity thing where she assumes her MIL thinks she isn’t good enough for her son. It is a confidence thing. I trust you don’t have that baggage?)
Are you a bad person? Is this MIL trying to equate you with the likes of Joran Vander Sloot? What did you do?
On the other hand maybe she knows something, not a lot, about that person and wants to start a conversation.
________________________________________________________
That’s the way I see it— she’s trying to have a conversation/include the person and knows the person likes football, so she uses football as an ice-breaker.
Looks like she’s at least trying...
IMHO, it’s not an insecurity or confidence thing in your example. It’s the MIL! Even an insecure wife wouldn’t act that way if the MIL was a sincere, nice, supportive, loving person.
hmmm, let's see....how does it make you feel? does it bother you that she asks these questions?
Like that? - It's psychiatry, she probably watched too much Bob Newhart -lol:)
how about...”Geeze, I hadn’t thought about it, what do YOU think about it ?”
People tend to talk more about "bad people" then they do "good people" so if you want ask the same question about a "good person" you're going to get a "oh aren't they nice!" and then a awkward silence.
Does the person she questions have a lot in common with every body else there?
My stock answer as well, because it’s the truth. “I really haven’t given the matter any thought at all. Couldn’t offer you an intelligent opinion about it.” If they press you past that, they’re after something other than the question.
I can't really add much to all the excellent responses, other than my own views based on my own opinions.
You really need to know the Mother In Law's past history concerning these types of family gatherings.
Is she just picking an example of a bad person who is in the news that you both can talk about and agree on that they are bad just as a subject of conversation?
Or does she have a history of starting a conversation and using it as a tie-in to some kind of point she wants to make?
To use an example to make my point: If the Mother In Law asks you what you think of men who are abusive to their wife, and you of course say how wrong it is for the men to do that,and then she says something like “Well, isn't that a bit like what you are doing to your wife?”, then you know what her agenda is (toinsult and make the person grovel...).
If the family dynamic here is that the Son-In-Law is constantly being criticized because he is an unworthy person (not making enough money, did not finish college) and a sinner (is an atheist, is a believer but is not of the "right" religion, he got his wife involved in swinging, he got a sex change, or whatever reason he is considered a sinner by the Mother-In-Law...) then the only thing that can be done is to politely avoid the question and walk away...
I think AWA the MIL is ALMB and should be SUSTH until she is BITF and taught to RHDIL. I’m sure some would disagree.
She’s probably trolling for trouble, in which case turning the question back on her (”Gosh, I haven’t given much thought to that. What do *you* think about it?”) is a good gambit.
But it’s possible she’s a really inept conversationalist or has some sort of disorder such as Asperger’s, and is using this device (over and over!) to try to converse. I have a SIL who used to drive me nuts peppering me with questions, one after the other. Felt like I was being interrogated. I finally realized that though she is very smart, she seems to have a touch of Asperger’s, and has difficulty relating to people the way everyone else does. She was using the rat-a-tat questions to substitute for real conversation. Perhaps that is what is going on with your problem person.
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