Posted on 08/31/2010 11:18:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise
Marcel Williams is plopped down on a couch in his family's duplex apartment. The stillness is unusual for the 14-year-old, who a few years ago roamed football fields as a star running back for the national champion Flagler Junior Pee Wee Bulldogs.
Since then, Marcel said he had been earning A's and B's at Buddy Taylor Middle School, where he also expected to continue playing football this year.
Instead, school just started and Marcel finds himself slouched on the couch, expelled from the classroom and the football field until next year because of something called "tea-bagging" -- a crude taunt Marcel practiced while keeping his pants on.
Marcel said the boys were horsing around in the back of a school bus on their way home. Several other kids were suspended over the incident but Marcel said he was the only one expelled.
"We were just playing. I didn't know they would take it that far," Marcel said of the reaction of school officials.
The punishment does not fit the misdeed, said Marcel's father, Darial Williams, 43.
"I'm not condoning this, but why make this as severe as it is?" Williams said. He said he has not had disciplinary issues with his son before.
"I've never had any problems with Marcel, no bullying," Williams said. "He's not stubborn."
Neither Buddy Taylor Middle School Principal Winnie Oden nor the School District's director of student services, Katrina Townsend, would discuss Marcel's case, citing student confidentiality -- that of Marcel's and the other student.
But "tea-bagging," as students call it, can be a gesture subtle enough that teachers may not even know it happened, or it can be flagrant -- a student, still wearing clothes, rubbing his crotch in another's face, Townsend said.
It's generally handled as a "school discipline issue," with a detention or a call to parents or some other action, Townsend said.
But criminal charges propel it to another level, she said.
That's what happened in Marcel's case; the taunted boy's father pressed criminal charges, Marcel and his family said.
And what Marcel called "tea-bagging," law enforcement officials called lewd and lascivious exhibition -- a felony.
The taunted student's father later changed his mind and declined to press charges against Marcel. But it was too late to stop the School District's disciplinary process. The incident went to the Discipline Review Committee, which recommends consequences to the superintendent, who makes the final decision.
"Generally speaking, for all students that have felony charges or incidents where there is a student victim on their campus, it's considered very serious," Townsend said.
Nine students were expelled from Flagler County schools during the 2009-2010 school year; all involved felony charges.
A school bus security camera recorded the incident involving Marcel but district officials declined to release it, citing student confidentiality and protecting the victim's identity.
Marcel's father said school administrators stated they had never seen such a severe, long-lasting "tea-bagging" as in Marcel's case.
Darial Williams wonders if district officials had seen other cases of "tea-bagging," why didn't they address the problem earlier, making it clear to students and parents that such behavior was happening and unacceptable?
"If you are driving down (Interstate) 95, and you see a small brush fire, are you just going to pull over and watch that small brush fire become a big wildfire?" Darial Williams said. "Any sensible person would call 9-1-1."
Marcel's family provided a copy of a police report that described the incident as lasting for "quite some time" before Marcel was "pulled off" the boy by other students.
But Marcel said no one had to pull him off. The horseplay just ran its course and ended. He said several other students were doing it, too.
"Everybody was playing around and stuff and tea-bagging each other," Marcel said. "I was messing with him and stuff and then I tea-bagged him."
Marcel said the other boy was in on the joke. Marcel said the kid he taunted was laughing and covering his face and making mock sounds of disgust.
Marcel's family also showed a reporter a note from one of Marcel's friends who wrote that the boy was laughing as Marcel tea-bagged him.
Marcel thought the whole thing was over when he walked off the bus. Until he returned to school the next day and he and the other boys were summoned to the principal's office. They were suspended. Ten days later, when Marcel tried to return to Buddy Taylor, he said he was told he was trespassing.
Darial Williams said he has talked to the other boy's father, who has agreed to help Marcel get back in school. But the father declined to be interviewed.
On May 26, district officials expelled Marcel until Jan. 11. At that time, he will be allowed to attend the eighth grade at Pathways Academy, the district's alternative school. Once teachers at Pathways are satisfied with Marcel's behavior, he will be allowed to attend Indian Trails Middle School. Marcel will not be able to return to Buddy Taylor Middle School.
Meanwhile, he is attending "virtual school" via a computer at home.
Marcel is stunned. He said when he was at Buddy Taylor there was a "national butt-slapping day" and a day to "pop girls' bra straps," which were relayed via cell phones. So the suspension for tea-bagging knocked the wind out of the running back like a well-placed hit from a linebacker.
Townsend said school personnel review the code of conduct with students at the beginning of every year districtwide.
Marcel's father said he feels his son's future, academically and athletically, is being jeopardized due to an overreaction.
"If it goes the way it's going now, it may effect his admission into a college, hopefully not, but these things tend to follow you," Williams said.
When were you raised? It was a lot easier to raise kids right thirty years ago and let them go to the local government schools. A lot harder now.
Thanks for all the responses - and in the interest of peace and understanding - I suspend all arguing. I can’t change minds, takes too much time and resolves nothing.
I have plenty of homeschooling friends that I see eye to eye with, plenty of private and public school friends - and we are all raising our kids with similar values but with different rules. I’m sure they will all turn out fine. Eventually our kids leave us and need to be prepared to make decisions, take the lumps, and be productive and happy adults.
Having a sense of humor is a must with me, if I didn’t laugh at some of the bonehead things my kids do - I’d probably explode. My husband is the same. Our kids are free range chickens for the most part and are friendly, out going and happy. I couldn’t ask for more.
Twink - Good Luck with your 4 girls! My daughter is 12 and has NO interest is boys - I was a totally different kid so I am counting my lucky stars. I’m sure there will be plenty of cleaning the shootgun at the kitchen table in the future - but I am holding on to these “kid days” as long as I can.
My Best to all......
You have some male rub their crotch in your face and see how you like it.
Perhaps you would like a male to rub his crotch in your face?
Me also.
We hear a lot from the home school lobby that public schools are prisons, Lord of the Flies, etc etc. It doesn’t help their cause since most people know this isn’t true of most schools. I think if people choose to home school they are to be applauded, they don’t need to justify their decision by overblowing the problems in public schools.
I apologize for my “Lord of the Flies” comment. Let me restate. The public schools I have been involved in have been like “Lord of the Flies”. Generalizations are never a good idea and I am sorry.
Thank you for that. You seem like a logical person who is passionate about home schooling. I applaud that. There are some on FR, however, who simply use any opportunity to paint every school with a broad brush.
As for home schooling, you go girl! The majority of home schooled kids I’ve known thru the years have been bright and articulate and gone on to very good things. I had a few in class when I taught school in TX who had been pulled out for a year of *home schooling* who came back and had clearly done nothing for that year. But in those cases there was no parent at home and one was simply used to baby sit her new sibling. Far different from what most home school parents are doing.
No - I wouldnt. Still over the top to expel the kid from school.
I would like to suspend all arguing too. I am sorry for offending you. I sincerely hope you have a blessed day!
I apologize for any comments on this thread that have offended you. Our past experiences affect our parenting. I want to keep my children safe from some of the experiences I had as a teen. They do have friends, freedom and responsibilites. I trust them. I don’t however trust the “world” so to speak.
It sounds as if you have raised wonderful children. My purpose on this thread was not to demean anyone else’s parenting. I am sure you are a wonderful mother. Many blessings!
Thank you for a true Christian witness. I need to remember that myself, it’s too easy to get into arguments here. God bless you.
Thank you. If only I could remember my Christian witness before I opened my mouth the first time. Of course none of us are perfect or we wouldn’t need Jesus at all. :)
In the words of the wise Marilla (Anne of Green Gables), “Good behavior in the first place is better than theatrical apologies afterward”.
Blessings!
LOl thanks for the quote, I had never heard it but I need to write it down! :)
You are welcome. If you haven’t seen the movie, you must!!! It is wonderful!
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