Posted on 08/31/2010 11:18:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise
Marcel Williams is plopped down on a couch in his family's duplex apartment. The stillness is unusual for the 14-year-old, who a few years ago roamed football fields as a star running back for the national champion Flagler Junior Pee Wee Bulldogs.
Since then, Marcel said he had been earning A's and B's at Buddy Taylor Middle School, where he also expected to continue playing football this year.
Instead, school just started and Marcel finds himself slouched on the couch, expelled from the classroom and the football field until next year because of something called "tea-bagging" -- a crude taunt Marcel practiced while keeping his pants on.
Marcel said the boys were horsing around in the back of a school bus on their way home. Several other kids were suspended over the incident but Marcel said he was the only one expelled.
"We were just playing. I didn't know they would take it that far," Marcel said of the reaction of school officials.
The punishment does not fit the misdeed, said Marcel's father, Darial Williams, 43.
"I'm not condoning this, but why make this as severe as it is?" Williams said. He said he has not had disciplinary issues with his son before.
"I've never had any problems with Marcel, no bullying," Williams said. "He's not stubborn."
Neither Buddy Taylor Middle School Principal Winnie Oden nor the School District's director of student services, Katrina Townsend, would discuss Marcel's case, citing student confidentiality -- that of Marcel's and the other student.
But "tea-bagging," as students call it, can be a gesture subtle enough that teachers may not even know it happened, or it can be flagrant -- a student, still wearing clothes, rubbing his crotch in another's face, Townsend said.
It's generally handled as a "school discipline issue," with a detention or a call to parents or some other action, Townsend said.
But criminal charges propel it to another level, she said.
That's what happened in Marcel's case; the taunted boy's father pressed criminal charges, Marcel and his family said.
And what Marcel called "tea-bagging," law enforcement officials called lewd and lascivious exhibition -- a felony.
The taunted student's father later changed his mind and declined to press charges against Marcel. But it was too late to stop the School District's disciplinary process. The incident went to the Discipline Review Committee, which recommends consequences to the superintendent, who makes the final decision.
"Generally speaking, for all students that have felony charges or incidents where there is a student victim on their campus, it's considered very serious," Townsend said.
Nine students were expelled from Flagler County schools during the 2009-2010 school year; all involved felony charges.
A school bus security camera recorded the incident involving Marcel but district officials declined to release it, citing student confidentiality and protecting the victim's identity.
Marcel's father said school administrators stated they had never seen such a severe, long-lasting "tea-bagging" as in Marcel's case.
Darial Williams wonders if district officials had seen other cases of "tea-bagging," why didn't they address the problem earlier, making it clear to students and parents that such behavior was happening and unacceptable?
"If you are driving down (Interstate) 95, and you see a small brush fire, are you just going to pull over and watch that small brush fire become a big wildfire?" Darial Williams said. "Any sensible person would call 9-1-1."
Marcel's family provided a copy of a police report that described the incident as lasting for "quite some time" before Marcel was "pulled off" the boy by other students.
But Marcel said no one had to pull him off. The horseplay just ran its course and ended. He said several other students were doing it, too.
"Everybody was playing around and stuff and tea-bagging each other," Marcel said. "I was messing with him and stuff and then I tea-bagged him."
Marcel said the other boy was in on the joke. Marcel said the kid he taunted was laughing and covering his face and making mock sounds of disgust.
Marcel's family also showed a reporter a note from one of Marcel's friends who wrote that the boy was laughing as Marcel tea-bagged him.
Marcel thought the whole thing was over when he walked off the bus. Until he returned to school the next day and he and the other boys were summoned to the principal's office. They were suspended. Ten days later, when Marcel tried to return to Buddy Taylor, he said he was told he was trespassing.
Darial Williams said he has talked to the other boy's father, who has agreed to help Marcel get back in school. But the father declined to be interviewed.
On May 26, district officials expelled Marcel until Jan. 11. At that time, he will be allowed to attend the eighth grade at Pathways Academy, the district's alternative school. Once teachers at Pathways are satisfied with Marcel's behavior, he will be allowed to attend Indian Trails Middle School. Marcel will not be able to return to Buddy Taylor Middle School.
Meanwhile, he is attending "virtual school" via a computer at home.
Marcel is stunned. He said when he was at Buddy Taylor there was a "national butt-slapping day" and a day to "pop girls' bra straps," which were relayed via cell phones. So the suspension for tea-bagging knocked the wind out of the running back like a well-placed hit from a linebacker.
Townsend said school personnel review the code of conduct with students at the beginning of every year districtwide.
Marcel's father said he feels his son's future, academically and athletically, is being jeopardized due to an overreaction.
"If it goes the way it's going now, it may effect his admission into a college, hopefully not, but these things tend to follow you," Williams said.
I didn’t say it wasn’t doable - I said I don’t do it. You raise your kids the way you want, and I will raise mine the way I want. I’m expressing opinions - that is all.
Snide? Get real. There is NO WAY to know if your child will do a, b or c. If you do know - again - congratulations on reaching the impossible dream of all parents.
I haven’t challenged anyone about their children, again, I am expressing an opinion. I think this is way overboard. I am also worried your children aren’t being properly supervised. My kids are probably lighting fires and pillaging the neighbors, so I gotta run. Freedom to play leads to all kinds of evil.
If you are happy with the way you are raising your children that is wonderful. I am happy with the way I am raising mine.
My older two are at church with daddy and the youngest is playing in her sand table next to me. I am not feeling well today and sort of have the day off. That is the reason I have so much time of FR today.
My goal would be for my children to be married and raising children well before 25. So I think they can handle decisions way before then.
I agree that good decision making is learned over time. My children make many of their own decisions and must be responsible for the outcome. They must also handle their own problems. No running to mom and dad to handle disputes.
However some of the most important decision and ones with the biggest consequences are made during the teen years when puberty is setting in and hormones are raging.
Teens need more direction from their parents then not less. That is the my tongue in cheek comment about teens needing more supervision than toddlers.
My husband and I work with teens everyday that wish their parents were more involved in their lives.
Have a good night.
What a wonderful post. That should be the goal for all Christian parents. :)
To: brytlea
“...As stated previously, parents can only do so much. Knowing exactly what your kid is doing 24/7 is called prison with cameras, and never sleeping. It is not possible.
111 posted on Wednesday, September 01, 2010 12:41:18 PM by Cathy
Thank you. And I mean it. It is possible. It just takes a lot of work. But my children are more than worth the sacrifice.
Correction, it is possible if you consider prison a solid way of raising kids. Bars and cameras can certainly accomplish that - so have at it. Otherwise “knowing” what your kids are doing all the time is considered ESP - and I don’t think you believe in that - do you?
I just pulled up the local news channel to check my weather forecast and this was a top story:
http://www.wsoctv.com/news/24843306/detail.html
The high school in question is where a lot of my sons’ church friends go. The crime and corruption produced or excused by local high school sports is ... truly impressive.
I know. I know my children. I know what they are like, what they need and what they want. I know every part of their day, down to the tiniest detail. I started out this way when they were infants, and I have not let up an inch since then.
I know where they are. I know who their friends are. I know what their likes and dislikes are. I monitor everything that comes into my home. I am watchful over their hearts and minds like a lioness. These are MY children to raise for a very short while.
One day, they will be out on their own. I have the time today to lay the groundwork for their futures. Their very lives depend upon it. This role of motherhood is the most important role of my life. And I’ll be damned if I am found sitting down on the job, not involved in everything in their lives.
It isn’t my pride that is calling me to do this, but my faith in God that leads me to raise them this way in my household. And it isn’t just “mother love” that is leading me, either. It’s a longing from my heart to be the most loving and giving parent that I can possibly be. They deserve that. I want them to have a fighting chance out there, because the world is a terrible, dark, cruel place. I would be failing my God if I did not take this responsibility this seriously.
I will never understand the glory heaped upon athletes. They play ball or throw a ball or and taht is theri job just as ours are our jobs. It’s nice they are talented but...they are not all that.
Well all of what you said may just happen anyway. Who knows with the way the world is going.
Amen.
Nobody ever wanted to pay to watch me fill in tax forms. I don’t care to pay to watch an illiterate felon carry a ball 100 yards. (Yes, many of them are. Not all, it’s true, but too many.)
Particularly in *junior high school*, there’s just no excuse for adults’ using the students in this way. It’s evil that they don’t teach these boys even a basic survival academics, and hold them to civilized human behavior.
I understand that you have no idea what homeschooled families are like and that while no parent knows everything, we know our children so much better than someone who sends their kids away from them every day.
Myth of the Teenager
http://www.home-school.com/Articles/PlattTeenagers.html
Very good article. We decided our children would skip teenager and go straight to young lady or young man. ;)
Believe it or not, I heard that line in a sensitivity reeducation seminar.
I get what you’re saying. And you probably already know how this discussion is going to evolve. Or devolve. ;)
You made some insightful posts. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts and some others in this thread.
Gotta run but be back later.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.