Posted on 08/31/2010 11:18:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise
Marcel Williams is plopped down on a couch in his family's duplex apartment. The stillness is unusual for the 14-year-old, who a few years ago roamed football fields as a star running back for the national champion Flagler Junior Pee Wee Bulldogs.
Since then, Marcel said he had been earning A's and B's at Buddy Taylor Middle School, where he also expected to continue playing football this year.
Instead, school just started and Marcel finds himself slouched on the couch, expelled from the classroom and the football field until next year because of something called "tea-bagging" -- a crude taunt Marcel practiced while keeping his pants on.
Marcel said the boys were horsing around in the back of a school bus on their way home. Several other kids were suspended over the incident but Marcel said he was the only one expelled.
"We were just playing. I didn't know they would take it that far," Marcel said of the reaction of school officials.
The punishment does not fit the misdeed, said Marcel's father, Darial Williams, 43.
"I'm not condoning this, but why make this as severe as it is?" Williams said. He said he has not had disciplinary issues with his son before.
"I've never had any problems with Marcel, no bullying," Williams said. "He's not stubborn."
Neither Buddy Taylor Middle School Principal Winnie Oden nor the School District's director of student services, Katrina Townsend, would discuss Marcel's case, citing student confidentiality -- that of Marcel's and the other student.
But "tea-bagging," as students call it, can be a gesture subtle enough that teachers may not even know it happened, or it can be flagrant -- a student, still wearing clothes, rubbing his crotch in another's face, Townsend said.
It's generally handled as a "school discipline issue," with a detention or a call to parents or some other action, Townsend said.
But criminal charges propel it to another level, she said.
That's what happened in Marcel's case; the taunted boy's father pressed criminal charges, Marcel and his family said.
And what Marcel called "tea-bagging," law enforcement officials called lewd and lascivious exhibition -- a felony.
The taunted student's father later changed his mind and declined to press charges against Marcel. But it was too late to stop the School District's disciplinary process. The incident went to the Discipline Review Committee, which recommends consequences to the superintendent, who makes the final decision.
"Generally speaking, for all students that have felony charges or incidents where there is a student victim on their campus, it's considered very serious," Townsend said.
Nine students were expelled from Flagler County schools during the 2009-2010 school year; all involved felony charges.
A school bus security camera recorded the incident involving Marcel but district officials declined to release it, citing student confidentiality and protecting the victim's identity.
Marcel's father said school administrators stated they had never seen such a severe, long-lasting "tea-bagging" as in Marcel's case.
Darial Williams wonders if district officials had seen other cases of "tea-bagging," why didn't they address the problem earlier, making it clear to students and parents that such behavior was happening and unacceptable?
"If you are driving down (Interstate) 95, and you see a small brush fire, are you just going to pull over and watch that small brush fire become a big wildfire?" Darial Williams said. "Any sensible person would call 9-1-1."
Marcel's family provided a copy of a police report that described the incident as lasting for "quite some time" before Marcel was "pulled off" the boy by other students.
But Marcel said no one had to pull him off. The horseplay just ran its course and ended. He said several other students were doing it, too.
"Everybody was playing around and stuff and tea-bagging each other," Marcel said. "I was messing with him and stuff and then I tea-bagged him."
Marcel said the other boy was in on the joke. Marcel said the kid he taunted was laughing and covering his face and making mock sounds of disgust.
Marcel's family also showed a reporter a note from one of Marcel's friends who wrote that the boy was laughing as Marcel tea-bagged him.
Marcel thought the whole thing was over when he walked off the bus. Until he returned to school the next day and he and the other boys were summoned to the principal's office. They were suspended. Ten days later, when Marcel tried to return to Buddy Taylor, he said he was told he was trespassing.
Darial Williams said he has talked to the other boy's father, who has agreed to help Marcel get back in school. But the father declined to be interviewed.
On May 26, district officials expelled Marcel until Jan. 11. At that time, he will be allowed to attend the eighth grade at Pathways Academy, the district's alternative school. Once teachers at Pathways are satisfied with Marcel's behavior, he will be allowed to attend Indian Trails Middle School. Marcel will not be able to return to Buddy Taylor Middle School.
Meanwhile, he is attending "virtual school" via a computer at home.
Marcel is stunned. He said when he was at Buddy Taylor there was a "national butt-slapping day" and a day to "pop girls' bra straps," which were relayed via cell phones. So the suspension for tea-bagging knocked the wind out of the running back like a well-placed hit from a linebacker.
Townsend said school personnel review the code of conduct with students at the beginning of every year districtwide.
Marcel's father said he feels his son's future, academically and athletically, is being jeopardized due to an overreaction.
"If it goes the way it's going now, it may effect his admission into a college, hopefully not, but these things tend to follow you," Williams said.
I don’t know if we’ve hit rock bottom yet. I’m not sure it’s in our best interests to stop the current destruction of society. The government, the mega-government is strangling the people, the parasite is killing the host, and I’m not sure there is any way to roll it back. I’m not sure Cloward-Piven is NOT the best approach, and then when it crumbles we can fight the commies head on in the streets instead of this fabian crap, which is bleeding us white.
LOL - that was a good one!
Sorry, I still feel it’s an over reaction.
Would you have done this when you were in school?
I think perhaps the best part of home schooling is that the kids, excuse me, children and young people can take an objective viewpoint when looking at the mess that is the public school system, and understand and be grateful not to have to go through that meat grinder.
Listen, I don’t agree with you. You can’t pick and choose your kid’s friend forever. Quite frankly - if you are a 36 year old woman and won’t walk alone - well - I am not even sure WHAT to think of that. My kids run around the neighborhood with their friends, dig in the dirt, have water ballon fights, make up songs, ride bikes, walk to the store - without me all the time - and they are perfectly fine. It is called functioning in society.
FWIW - Some 15 years olds are working and helping to support their family, helping raise younger siblings, and being mature and independent. You want to shield your kids and that is your decision. Again, at some point you will be dissappointed and you are setting your kids up it.
That I agree with, however some know it and fight and some embrace it.
That I agree with, however some know it and fight and some embrace it.
“without me all the time”
And that is why you don’t know what your children are doing.
My children do those things too.
You can keep espousing the virtues of children doing things without supervision but that sure didn’t help your friend’s daughter.
The world now is not the world of a generation or two ago. Girls or young boys walking down streets alone can and sadly not infrequently are targets for child molesters, rapists or other wrongdoers.
Children need protection. That doesn’t mean keeping them helpless babies; it means keeping them alive without their innocence destroyed until they are mature enough to be independent.
Nobody said it wasn’t out of bounds, my problem is with the punishment.
Yes, it is hard following your kids around all the time looking over their shoulder. If a parent choses to do it - that is their choice. I do not.
I was working by the time I was 15, bought my own car - worked full time after school and weekends as a Junior/Senior. Were my parents supposed to sit and watch me at work? Plenty of kids have a lot of freedom (away from their parents) and turn out fine. Some don’t use their best judgement all the time - but that is called growing up. Everyone had to learn how to learn from their mistakes - but if you aren’t allowed to make mistakes because you are never out of earshot of a parent - you will surely fall harder when you are on your own.
BTW, I don’t walk alone for safety reasons and I don’t send my children out alone for the same reason. It really doesn’t matter what YOU think of it. It is wisdom.
My older children do help with my youngest daughter, babysit children from church, cook, clean and are responsible for their own schoolwork. They are very mature and responsible.
You can keep trying to paint me in a negative light if you like. I am not the one that has to wonder if my child would put his or her crotch in someone else’s face.
Good question for the cub scout leaders, my husband is my son’s den leader and we are friends with many of the other leaders. I am going to pose the question - no qualms about asking.
“but if you aren’t allowed to make mistakes because you are never out of earshot of a parent - you will surely fall harder when you are on your own.”
That is a myth. Children need the guidance of their parents until they are old enough to make good decisions on their own. Some mistakes have consequences that are too serious to leave to chance.
I’m not painting you in a negative light, you are doing that all by yourself. You are absolutely right - it doesn’t matter what I think - so why are you so defensive?
You assertion that I DO have to worry about my kids is duly noted. It’s apparent you don’t think much of anyone outside your purity circle, and that’s nothing I envy.
BTW - I walk alone every morning for exercise. I go to work alone. I go to politcal rallies alone. I even go shopping alone - it is called being an adult!!!!
I’m not painting you in a negative light, you are doing that all by yourself. You are absolutely right - it doesn’t matter what I think - so why are you so defensive?
You assertion that I DO have to worry about my kids is duly noted. It’s apparent you don’t think much of anyone outside your purity circle, and that’s nothing I envy.
BTW - I walk alone every morning for exercise. I go to work alone. I go to politcal rallies alone. I even go shopping alone - it is called being an adult!!!!
It’s not a myth. The problem is you think “old enough to make good decisions” is 25 and I think it is fed out over time, starting in elementary school.
BTW - how can you keep an eye on your kids when you are on the computer fighting with me? Do they have to sit and watch you? My kids are at a friend’s house up the street - not sure what they are doing - does that make your eye twitch?
“You assertion that I DO have to worry about my kids is duly noted”
I didn’t assert that, you did. When another poster said there child would never do that, you argued that there was no way to know that.
I am not being defensive, I am just stating the facts. Not sure what you mean about the purity circle. I am careful about close friendships because we become like the people we are most often around. I think highly of alot of people that are not close friends.
I go places alone too but walking isn’t one of them. Not everyone has the same experiences. I have had bad experiences walking alone.
You came on this thread challenging another posters assertion about their children. When I defended the other poster, you began making snide comments about my parenting.
I know what my kids are always doing. It’s not just possible, it’s easily doable.
It takes planning and sacrifice, raising them with a Christian foundation and a strong set of values, keeping up on their education, instilling a love of God in them, getting them involved in activities that will lead them in the right direction, helping them select the right friends, instituting the rule that they must stay together when they leave the yard, always knowing where they are headed, and communication, communication, communication.
My number one goal on this planet is to raise two healthy, happy, Christian children to adulthood. I signed up for the job, and it is my responsibility. Nothing gets in the way of this goal of mine, ever.
I hope that the authorities are looking into the possibility that Marcel has been molested.
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