Posted on 08/31/2010 11:18:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise
Marcel Williams is plopped down on a couch in his family's duplex apartment. The stillness is unusual for the 14-year-old, who a few years ago roamed football fields as a star running back for the national champion Flagler Junior Pee Wee Bulldogs.
Since then, Marcel said he had been earning A's and B's at Buddy Taylor Middle School, where he also expected to continue playing football this year.
Instead, school just started and Marcel finds himself slouched on the couch, expelled from the classroom and the football field until next year because of something called "tea-bagging" -- a crude taunt Marcel practiced while keeping his pants on.
Marcel said the boys were horsing around in the back of a school bus on their way home. Several other kids were suspended over the incident but Marcel said he was the only one expelled.
"We were just playing. I didn't know they would take it that far," Marcel said of the reaction of school officials.
The punishment does not fit the misdeed, said Marcel's father, Darial Williams, 43.
"I'm not condoning this, but why make this as severe as it is?" Williams said. He said he has not had disciplinary issues with his son before.
"I've never had any problems with Marcel, no bullying," Williams said. "He's not stubborn."
Neither Buddy Taylor Middle School Principal Winnie Oden nor the School District's director of student services, Katrina Townsend, would discuss Marcel's case, citing student confidentiality -- that of Marcel's and the other student.
But "tea-bagging," as students call it, can be a gesture subtle enough that teachers may not even know it happened, or it can be flagrant -- a student, still wearing clothes, rubbing his crotch in another's face, Townsend said.
It's generally handled as a "school discipline issue," with a detention or a call to parents or some other action, Townsend said.
But criminal charges propel it to another level, she said.
That's what happened in Marcel's case; the taunted boy's father pressed criminal charges, Marcel and his family said.
And what Marcel called "tea-bagging," law enforcement officials called lewd and lascivious exhibition -- a felony.
The taunted student's father later changed his mind and declined to press charges against Marcel. But it was too late to stop the School District's disciplinary process. The incident went to the Discipline Review Committee, which recommends consequences to the superintendent, who makes the final decision.
"Generally speaking, for all students that have felony charges or incidents where there is a student victim on their campus, it's considered very serious," Townsend said.
Nine students were expelled from Flagler County schools during the 2009-2010 school year; all involved felony charges.
A school bus security camera recorded the incident involving Marcel but district officials declined to release it, citing student confidentiality and protecting the victim's identity.
Marcel's father said school administrators stated they had never seen such a severe, long-lasting "tea-bagging" as in Marcel's case.
Darial Williams wonders if district officials had seen other cases of "tea-bagging," why didn't they address the problem earlier, making it clear to students and parents that such behavior was happening and unacceptable?
"If you are driving down (Interstate) 95, and you see a small brush fire, are you just going to pull over and watch that small brush fire become a big wildfire?" Darial Williams said. "Any sensible person would call 9-1-1."
Marcel's family provided a copy of a police report that described the incident as lasting for "quite some time" before Marcel was "pulled off" the boy by other students.
But Marcel said no one had to pull him off. The horseplay just ran its course and ended. He said several other students were doing it, too.
"Everybody was playing around and stuff and tea-bagging each other," Marcel said. "I was messing with him and stuff and then I tea-bagged him."
Marcel said the other boy was in on the joke. Marcel said the kid he taunted was laughing and covering his face and making mock sounds of disgust.
Marcel's family also showed a reporter a note from one of Marcel's friends who wrote that the boy was laughing as Marcel tea-bagged him.
Marcel thought the whole thing was over when he walked off the bus. Until he returned to school the next day and he and the other boys were summoned to the principal's office. They were suspended. Ten days later, when Marcel tried to return to Buddy Taylor, he said he was told he was trespassing.
Darial Williams said he has talked to the other boy's father, who has agreed to help Marcel get back in school. But the father declined to be interviewed.
On May 26, district officials expelled Marcel until Jan. 11. At that time, he will be allowed to attend the eighth grade at Pathways Academy, the district's alternative school. Once teachers at Pathways are satisfied with Marcel's behavior, he will be allowed to attend Indian Trails Middle School. Marcel will not be able to return to Buddy Taylor Middle School.
Meanwhile, he is attending "virtual school" via a computer at home.
Marcel is stunned. He said when he was at Buddy Taylor there was a "national butt-slapping day" and a day to "pop girls' bra straps," which were relayed via cell phones. So the suspension for tea-bagging knocked the wind out of the running back like a well-placed hit from a linebacker.
Townsend said school personnel review the code of conduct with students at the beginning of every year districtwide.
Marcel's father said he feels his son's future, academically and athletically, is being jeopardized due to an overreaction.
"If it goes the way it's going now, it may effect his admission into a college, hopefully not, but these things tend to follow you," Williams said.
It may have occurred in more private situations (and certainly OTHER crude behavior occurred).
Feudalism was the system they built, and a universal (through most of Europe) Catholic Church. One collapsed under the new system of nationalism, and the other fractured.
The people living at that time knew they had lost a LOT from “the ancients” and awaited a “rebirth” of knowledge. That “rebirth” did much more to build the civilizations and systems that we enjoy today.
A bit deep and off track for this discussion, but I thought the point about the historic perspective on the appropriate behavior of 14 year olds was interesting in light of Barbara's observation.
Yes, and you won’t get any argument from me that kids act out more in public. Although in HS in the 80’s it was pretty wild.
It’s interesting, but all thru history until recent times people did not live to an advanced age, so most of what we call civilization was built by people the age of those who are now still playing around. There was not an option for a mid teen 2000 years ago to not at the very least to be working at whatever it was the adults were doing. We have infantalized (ok, not a word, but I think you know what I mean) our kids to the point that they continue to make stupid decisions when their peers were living their lives, and often taking care of themselves.
Yes, and we weren’t angels in the 1970s (altho we also were much less public because after the school got done with us our parents were waiting in line to do something worse!)
Yes I realize that raising my children outside of the culture is weird (not what most people are doing). It has also produced some very responsible kids that I don’t have to worry if they will sexually assault someone’s face.
We also value family above friendships. I understand that is weird as well. When we visit friends, we do it as a family. My daughter has no friends that we are not friends with her parents. Her peers do not determine her values.
We have not told my daughter she is “not allowed to dat”. We have raised her for courtship which is a totally different mindset and she thinks dating is weird. My daughter has decided to save her heart and even her first kiss for marriage.
I don’t advocate 24/7 visual and audio supervision of my children. I advocate being there for them.
So you think that your friend’s daughter’s “ability” to walk down the street by herself was more important than protecting her purity?
My children have plenty of freedom. They got up early so they could finish their school work and they are now spending time doing what they choose to do. My son is building and my daughter is learning a new song.
By being led astray, I was not referring to walking down the street. I was referring to the time that the daughter had to build a relationship with this boy that she was willing to deceive her parents to be with him. No boy has that kind of access to my daughter. The ones that have showed her any inappropriate attention, she has promptly reported to her daddy.
I wouldn’t allow my 15 year old to walk alone because it isn’t safe. I don’t walk alone either and I am 36 years old.
And even without being supervised 24/7, rubbing your crotch in another kid's face is so far outside the bounds of "ok" I can't even imagine thinking "oh, my poor kid just made one tiny mistake, boo hoo." My kid would have a sore behind on top of whatever other punishment he got.
I agree with your comment (brytlea, somewhere in the thread) that one of the most unpleasant elements is that the boy’s father doesn’t think his son did anything wrong. It would be interesting to describe the situation to, say, the fathers who will be at our Cub Scouts meeting tomorrow, and find out how many of them would find that behavior acceptable. Except that I’m too squeamish even to talk about this kind of thing in public!
Florida has virtual public schools, with the students learning at home but supplied by the school system and monitored by a teacher. Maybe that would be a good choice for this boy, who is already a grade behind his age-cohort, and who knows how far below grade level in accomplishment. Pinning all his hopes on a future as a gladiator is poor risk-management. Put the same resources and effort into reading, writing, and math, and he might amount to something.
Common sense. I didn’t know FL offered that (I didn’t teach public school here). Sounds like a good alternative. I am not a fan of alternative schools, because they are full of..well, kids who got into trouble. However, unless kids thing there are serious repercussions to anti-social behavior they will continue to ramp it up. The more they push the envelope without painful consequences, the more likely they are to engage in worse and worse behavior.
I like your tagline!
Well said
Did I tickle him? YEAH, I DID. I not only tickled him, I held him down and tickled him until he damn near turned blue.
I never did anything like that to anyone when I was a kid. I never saw anyone do anything like that to anyone - and I saw some pretty bad things. This is homo-sexual assault, and I’m glad the districk is take it serious. Caint hep but wonder about the races involve though.
It is NOT horsing around, and it IS gang behavior.
It’s the prison sex rule. The boy thrusting his crotch in the kid’s face wasn’t having sex with another boy. The boy he was doing it to was the gay one because he wasn’t strong enough to stop him.
Actually, I could have imagined something like that happening when I was a kid, around 1970. I DON’T remember incidents of a homosexual nature like that, but a lot of sh!t happened. The posters are right, nothing would have happened to the kid back then. In this case, I think intervention is RIGHT.
We are ALL on the road to serfdom my friend.
Gollllleeee, we don’ git ta do NUTHIN at work no more.
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