(-:~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~:-)

[Lucky9teen]

Do You Suffer from Some of These Top 10 Signs of a Clueless American Voter?

10. You think Goldman Sachs is a department store, and AIG is just the text-message abbreviation for "all is good."

9. You're still checking the mail for your portion of that government stimulus plan.

8. You're not sure if Independence Day is the same holiday as the Fourth of July.

7. You can recite all the words to your favorite rock group's songs, but you don't know what's really in the First Amendment freedom of religion clause.

6. You can name every American Idol or Superbowl winner, but not the 2nd, 3rd and 16th Presidents of the United States (clue - these are really famous guys).

5. You don't realize that smoking is no longer regarded as one of your many valid choices as an American.

4. You struggle for an answer when someone asks you what state Washington, D.C. is in.

3. You think an illegal alien is someone who came in on a UFO that the government denies ever existed.

2. You believe it's politically incorrect and intolerant to use the phrase "extreme Islamic terrorism" to describe extreme Islamic terrorism.

1. And the Number One Sign: You lost your job, your house has been foreclosed and your 401K plan is gone, but you still vote for politicians 'cause you recognize their name or they look good and talk nice.

Results:
-If you suffer from three or less of these signs: Congrats! You're pretty well-informed, but could still do better.
-If you suffer from four to six of these signs: Go back to school - oh wait, they don't teach this stuff any more.
-If you suffer from seven or more of these signs: Get a clue!

"According to a poll, only 24 percent of Americans strongly approve of the job President Obama is doing. In fact, you know where President Obama was when he got these poll numbers. He was on Air Force One. As soon as he got the numbers, he cursed out the voters, grabbed a few beers, and slid down the slide. 'I'm outta here!'" —Jay Leno


"In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd." —Jay Leno


"The New Orleans Saints visited the White House yesterday. That's an interesting switch, people from New Orleans visiting a disaster area." —Jay Leno


President Obama announced this month that he created 70,000 new jobs. The bad news is, they are all vacation planners for him and his family." —Jay Leno

[Nateman]

[Nateman]

[JoeProBono]

[a fool in paradise]

[Nateman]

That is one huge invisible bicycle!

[Nateman]

[a fool in paradise]

[a fool in paradise]

[a fool in paradise]

[a fool in paradise]

Catz? Send in the clowns.

[acad1228]

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Have you ever wondered if the notes in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack? If not, you're wondering now. Have a nice day.

HMMMMM. I have one that's glittery and smells of cocoa butter. The thing is, I only smelled the cocoa butter 'cause I had the bill in my mouth as I was scrounging for change.

[Lilpug15]

Please add me to the silliness and caption threads if you would be so kind!

[tomkow6]

Two guys walk into a bar.....

the third guy ducks....

[fredhead]

Check this out....the Great Reneger by Hank Williams Jr.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2574331/posts

[Tanniker Smith]

[Scythian]

[tomkow6]

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man wearing a Green Bay Packer jersey was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Minnesota Viking jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Packer Backer from the water, Then, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was bitter hatred between Green Bay Packers & Vikings fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "who was that"?

"It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know anything about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up O.K., or do we need to get another one"?

[21stCenturion]

I suppose this works better if you come from New York ...

‘The Husband Store’

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 — These men have jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 — These men have jobs and love kids.

‘That’s nice’... she thinks, ‘...but I want more.’

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 — These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

‘Wow’, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 — These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with housework.

“Oh, mercy me!”, she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 — These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 — You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a ‘New Wives Store’ just across the street. Instructions are all same-same.

Floor 1 — has wives that love sex.

Floor 2 — has wives that love sex, have money, and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

[SevenofNine]

Monk get on ping 73 LOL!

[SevenofNine]

Looter guy was first man on the moon???