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Most memorable one liners.
05/14/2010 | Post_Neolithic

Posted on 05/14/2010 4:51:00 PM PDT by Post-Neolithic

Reading through one particular thread gave me the idea for this one.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: comebacks; comedy; oneliners; quickcomebacks; rhetoric; smartanswers; todumbquestions; zingers
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To: Post-Neolithic

“Politics ain’t beanbag.” Peter Finley Dunne


201 posted on 05/14/2010 6:15:12 PM PDT by behzinlea
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To: Post-Neolithic

“Where’s the beef?”

Wendy’s commercial


202 posted on 05/14/2010 6:15:16 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: eeevil conservative

From Jailhouse Rock
Elvis (Vince): “Them ain’t tactics, honey; it’s just the beast in me.”
Doctor: “If Vince doesn’t get in there and try to sing, he could become a psychological mute, musically speaking.”


203 posted on 05/14/2010 6:15:22 PM PDT by Migraine (Diversity is great... ...until it happens to YOU.)
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To: Post-Neolithic


Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

The State Department told Reagan a couple of times “you can’t say that!”.

According to Peter Robinson, one of Reagan’s speechwriters/assistants.


204 posted on 05/14/2010 6:16:49 PM PDT by VOA
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To: driftdiver

#182:

“SHRINKAGE” - George Costanza


205 posted on 05/14/2010 6:17:16 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: All
Adm. Painter: "What's his plan?"
Jack Ryan: "His plan?"
Adm. Painter: "Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan."

"Hunt for Red October"
(Fred Thompson played Adm. Painter)
206 posted on 05/14/2010 6:17:57 PM PDT by pillut48 ("Stand now. Stand together. Stand for what is right."-Gov.Sarah Palin, "Going Rogue" ><>)
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To: Post-Neolithic

“It’s too big ‘a eat!” - Rodney Allen Rippy

(70’s era Jack In The Box commercial)


207 posted on 05/14/2010 6:18:59 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: Post-Neolithic
Bandit: "Sheriff... do the letters F.O. mean anything to you?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Bandit: "Sheriff, uh, Buford T. Justice, please."

Buford T. Justice: "Who there?"

Bandit: "This is Bandit Darville talkin'."

Buford T. Justice: "Where are you, you sombitch?"

Bandit: "Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there's just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon dog, 'cause I've been chased by the best of them, and son, you make 'em look like they're all runnin' in slow motion. I just wanna say that."

Buford T. Justice: "Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you're the goddamnedest pursuee I've ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SOMBITCH?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Buford T. Justice: [to his son] "There's no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Alabama State Trooper: "Did you see that? They went right through our roadblock!"

Buford T. Justice: "You som'bitches couldn't close an umbrella!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Buford T. Justice: "I'm gonna barbeque yo' ass in molasses!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------


208 posted on 05/14/2010 6:19:28 PM PDT by Viking2002
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To: Post-Neolithic

“I’m the one who’s got to die when it’s time for me to die....so let me live my life the way I want to.”

Jimi Hendrix - Axis Bold As Love


209 posted on 05/14/2010 6:20:22 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: Post-Neolithic

Regarding FDR
“Two thirds mush and one third Eleanor” Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Teddy Roosevelt’s daughter.

“Thousands of pictures were taken; none for the glory of the troops, all for the glory of FDR.” Gen. George S. Patton.

Regarding Bill Clinton
If I were in the President’s position I wouldn’t have a chance to resign. I would be laying in a pool of my own blood with Mrs. Armey standing over me asking “how do I reload this damn thing”. - Rep. Dick Armey

Nobody likes to be called a liar, but to be called a liar by Bill Clinton is really a unique experience. - H. Ross Perot


210 posted on 05/14/2010 6:21:40 PM PDT by madamemayhem (defeat isn't getting knocked down, it's not getting back up)
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To: Post-Neolithic

Awesome thread.

Quinlan: Come on, read my future for me.
Tanya: You haven’t got any.
Quinlan: What do you mean?
Tanya: Your future is all used up.

Marlene Deithrich and Orson Welles in Touch of Evil


211 posted on 05/14/2010 6:22:31 PM PDT by FlyingEagle
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To: oyez


Ulysses Everett McGill: Believe me Delmar, woman is the most fiendish
instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.

In this species, the female is deadlier than the male.
—from Rudyard Kipling, IIRC

I also got a good chuckle from seeing “Armageddon” on TV recently.
When the amateur astronomer that first spotted the meteor and wanted
to name it after his wife...because she was (inexact quote) a life-destroying
force from which there was no escape.

(And I’d say the same for some of the husbands of a few female accquaintances!)


212 posted on 05/14/2010 6:22:50 PM PDT by VOA
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To: Post-Neolithic

“Who are those guys anyway?”

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid


213 posted on 05/14/2010 6:23:02 PM PDT by roninoronoco
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To: Post-Neolithic

“You mean like Democrats?”

In “Ghost Breakers” he’s told about zombies, who walk “around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do.” Hope pauses and says, “You mean like Democrats?”


214 posted on 05/14/2010 6:23:09 PM PDT by mojitojoe (banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Eaker; Allegra; humblegunner; thackney

“Bet me Buckwheat”. TheMom - right before she got fired.


215 posted on 05/14/2010 6:24:00 PM PDT by TheMom (Pablo is very wily.)
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To: Post-Neolithic

216 posted on 05/14/2010 6:24:15 PM PDT by 50cal Smokepole (Effective gun control involves effective recoil management)
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To: TheMom

I don’t know the story.


217 posted on 05/14/2010 6:25:37 PM PDT by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: Post-Neolithic

Duh,,, hold my beer and watch this,,,,, me


218 posted on 05/14/2010 6:26:59 PM PDT by piroque (God bless Lee and the rest of the True Americans. . . The Confederates!!”)
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To: TADSLOS

Well, we ain’t got none of that. We ain’t got no lemonade either! —True Grit (when girl asks if they have milk)


219 posted on 05/14/2010 6:27:54 PM PDT by firebrand
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To: Post-Neolithic

“I need more cowbell.”

Christopher Walken


220 posted on 05/14/2010 6:29:21 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (The man who said "there's no such thing as a stupid question" has never talked to Helen Thomas.)
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