Posted on 04/21/2010 11:32:29 AM PDT by Borges
so close to WACO and the OKC bombing - he must have been an extremist militia member (sarc)
His description of first watching Hawaiians surfing is the funniest thing ever. Also don’t miss his short story on his visit to Niagra Falls.
With those eyebrows, he’d be Andy Rooney.....
Education
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Courage
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.Wit
One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Friendship
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Humor
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.Success
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.Courage
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.Education
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.Age
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.Health
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
“To this day I cherish an unappeasable bitterness against the unfaithful guardians of my young life, who not only permitted but compelled me to read an unexpurgated Bible through before I was 15 years old. None can do that and ever draw a clean sweet breath again this side of the grave....” - Mark Twain
See? Libs say the goofiest things.
“I have had a long life, and many bitter experiences, most of them imaginary”.
He and I are both from Missouri and he was my first literary mentor, Tom Sawyer read to me at bedtime, so that I longed for the sun to go down over the soft summer Missouri hills, and get into my pyjamas, and my mother would pick up the book.
Lived as a child for three years in a town on the Mississippi River, with Twain’s Life On The Mississippi my daily inspiration.
I really enjoyed Mr. Clemons on Star Trek, the Next Generation!
Re Haley’s Comet....
Took the words right out of my keyboard...
“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.”
- Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar
“Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.”
- What Is Man?
Many more here...
http://www.twainquotes.com/C.html
“The mania for giving the Government power to meddle with the private affairs of cities or citizens is likely to cause endless trouble, through the rivaly of schools and creeds that are anxious to obtain official recognition, and there is great danger that our people will lose our independence of thought and action which is the cause of much of our greatness, and sink into the helplessness of the Frenchman or German who expects his government to feed him when hungry, clothe him when naked, to prescribe when his child may be born and when he may die, and, in fine, to regulate every act of humanity from the cradle to the tomb, including the manner in which he may seek future admission to paradise.”
M.T.
As far as I know it is. I don’t know the context of it thought, sorry.
Twain was fairly outspoken about his atheism.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<< I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
He’d make a good FReeper.
yes i know
A man who criticized the Spanish War as imperialist and who served as a volunteer for the South when his home was threatened.
He saw his country changing for the worse and he did what he could to stop it.
He also had the ultimate understanding of his fellow man.
“What is the difference between a man and a dog?
If you discover a hungry, friendless dog, give him a bit to eat and a warm hand, the dog won’t bite you.”
Intimate memoir revealed as fans honour Mark Twain centenary
Handwritten 'Family Sketch', written soon after the death of his daughter, goes on display as part of celebrations marking 100 years since the author's death
* Michelle Pauli
* guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 21 April 2010 12.33 BST
Mark Twain fans across the world are ignoring the American writer's 1896 dictum that "What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light" and are marking the 100th anniversary of his death.
One of the highlights is an exhibition by Sotheby's auction house in New York of an unpublished family sketch by Mark Twain that has gone on display as part of a collection of 200 personal letters, manuscripts and photographs going under the hammer on June 17. The 64-page, handwritten personal account, A Family Sketch, written shortly after Twain's eldest daughter died of meningitis in 1896, is expected to sell for $120,000 to $180,000 (£78,000 to £116,000).
"A Family Sketch is certainly one of the gems of the Sotheby's sale," David Hirst, general editor of the Mark Twain Papers & Projects at the University of California at Berkeley, which has the largest repository of Twain material, told Associated Press. "Any Mark Twain archive or collector would be willing to go hungry for two or three years just in order to be able to buy it."
It is described as an "intimate" account of Twain family life, including their relationship with their servants, and also features some recollections from Twain's childhood.
Also in the sale is a nine-page letter that a love-struck Twain wrote to his future father-in-law, Jervis Langdon, in an effort to convince him of his suitability as a husband to Olivia Langdon.
"I am not hurrying my love — it is my love hurrying me ...," wrote Twain. "As to what I am going to be, henceforth, it is a thing which must be proven & established. I am upon the right path — I shall succeed, I hope. Men as lost as I, have found a Savior, & why not I?"
The letters, manuscripts and documents in the collection belonged to the late media executive James S Copley and could fetch $750,000 to $1.2m. The last auction of Twain memorabilia, in 2003, took $1.4m.
Elsewhere across the States, there is a 13-hour marathon-reading of short stories at UCLA, while PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has sponsored an exhibition at the Mark Twain Boyhood Home & Museum in Hannibal, Missouri, highlighting the writer's opposition to vivisection. It includes a plaque with an excerpt from the 1899 letter Twain wrote to the London Anti-Vivisection Society saying:
"I believe I am not interested to know whether Vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't. To know that the results are profitable to the race would not remove my hostility to it. The pains which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity towards it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further."
The celebrations form part of the Year of Twain in the town where Twain, or Samuel Clemens as he was known then, lived from 4 to 18. In a year that also features the 125th anniversary of the publication of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, a highlight will be the Tom Sawyer Days with "whitewashing, frog-jumping and seed-spitting contests".
Not to be outdone, other places where Twain lived are also getting in on the centenary action. Hartford Connecticut, where Twain lived for 17 years with his wife and daughters, and where A Family Sketch is based, has chosen The Adventures of Tom Sawyer as its Big Read community reading project. In Elmira, New York, where Twain died (with Halley's comet in the skies, just as it had been when he was born), there will be a re-enactment of his funeral on Saturday with a "procession complete with horse-drawn carriages, trolleys and vintage cars".
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010/apr/21/memoir-revealed-mark-twain-centenary
Also, that statement was made to a library that had banned ‘Huckleberry Finn’ because of what they percieved as its ability to warp young minds.
He was a socialist, and another loony idea of his was that Shakespeare not only didn’t write his plays, but was illiterate.
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