Education
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Courage
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.Wit
One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Friendship
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Humor
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.Success
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.Courage
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.Education
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.Age
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.Health
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
“I have had a long life, and many bitter experiences, most of them imaginary”.
He and I are both from Missouri and he was my first literary mentor, Tom Sawyer read to me at bedtime, so that I longed for the sun to go down over the soft summer Missouri hills, and get into my pyjamas, and my mother would pick up the book.
Lived as a child for three years in a town on the Mississippi River, with Twain’s Life On The Mississippi my daily inspiration.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<< I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
He’d make a good FReeper.