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(=:>ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd<:=)

Posted on 03/26/2010 5:25:59 AM PDT by Lucky9teen


Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.

“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?
"President Obama signed the landmark healthcare reform bill into law on Tuesday. I'll tell you how excited the president is. Today, he changed his slogan from 'Yes, we can,' to 'Yes, we finally did something.'" --Jay Leno

"Well, as you know, healthcare reform was passed by the House last night. Supporters of the bill say the American people now get the same health benefits that members of Congress get. Now, if we can just get some of their other perks: free travel, envelopes with cash, get-out-of-jail-free cards..." --Jay Leno

"I have been thinking about the healthcare problem and how to pay for healthcare. If you took all the money the Republicans have spent trying to stop healthcare and all the money Democrats have spent trying to get healthcare, we could afford healthcare." --Jay Leno

"And to help sell this plan to the American people, President Obama said it's the same plan Congress has. See, I think that's a mistake. I think that's why a lot of people opposed it. Have you seen members of Congress? Do they look healthy to you? Anybody here want to be as fat as Barney Frank? Huh? You want to be as orange as John Boehner? I don't think so." –Jay Leno

"President Obama is turning up the pressure on Congress to pass this health care reform. In fact, he's telling Democrats, if they don't vote for this bill, he will go out and campaign for them in November." -Jay Leno

"It looks like Democrats have their 60 votes for healthcare. Harry Reid said the bill will save us hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, it would have, except for the hundreds of millions of dollars we had to pay to buy the 60 votes." –Jay Leno

"The healthcare bill won't have a public option. But Obama was like, 'The public option is not the most important aspect' of the healthcare bill because 'only a few million people' would benefit from it. And then a few million people were like 'Ummm . . . we can hear you.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The health care overhaul will extend coverage to 30 million people who are uninsured, or, as Walmart calls them, employees." –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama says that Congress is very close to getting a new health care plan, but due to compromises, it 'won't include everything that everybody wants.' For instance, it covers everything except trips to the doctor or the hospital." –Conan O'Brien

"The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'" –Jay Leno

"Congressman John Boehner told a crowd of protesters yesterday that the new health care bill was the 'greatest threat to freedom he's ever seen.' And then the Taliban was like, 'Uh, helloooo? What?!'" –Jimmy Fallon


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: america2point0; asocialistamerica; freepun; obamacare; obamajokes; ofst; silliness
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1 posted on 03/26/2010 5:25:59 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP


2 posted on 03/26/2010 5:26:19 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP


3 posted on 03/26/2010 5:27:21 AM PDT by absolootezer0 (2x divorced, tattooed, pierced, harley hatin, meghan mccain luvin', smoker and pit bull owner..what?)
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To: absolootezer0

IBTP


4 posted on 03/26/2010 5:27:41 AM PDT by YouPosting2Me
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To: skoobedoo

Friday ping


5 posted on 03/26/2010 5:28:20 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...



ON TO FRIDAY SILLINESS


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
 
6 posted on 03/26/2010 5:30:07 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Watch out for the term SOCIAL JUSTICE! It only equals MARXISM and GOV'T CONTROL!)
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To: Lucky9teen

Bring on the silliness.....PLEASE!!


7 posted on 03/26/2010 5:31:32 AM PDT by wyokostur
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To: nite97m

Friday ping


8 posted on 03/26/2010 5:34:12 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

A Father and his young daughter watch a Barrack Obama interview about the wonderful future of health care in America.

After the interview was over and the father was putting the daughter to bed, the young gal told her father “My tummy Hurts,.

The father says to his daughter,

” Don’t worry princess, that’s just your body adjusting to a lifetime of lies from the democrat party.”


9 posted on 03/26/2010 5:34:36 AM PDT by Le Chien Rouge
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To: Lucky9teen

10 posted on 03/26/2010 5:36:01 AM PDT by Bean Counter (I keeps mah feathers numbered, for just such an emergency...)
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To: Lucky9teen

Good ones.


11 posted on 03/26/2010 5:36:42 AM PDT by unkus
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To: Lucky9teen

12 posted on 03/26/2010 5:37:21 AM PDT by Bean Counter (I keeps mah feathers numbered, for just such an emergency...)
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To: Lucky9teen

13 posted on 03/26/2010 5:38:28 AM PDT by Bean Counter (I keeps mah feathers numbered, for just such an emergency...)
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To: wyokostur
TOP TEN!
14 posted on 03/26/2010 5:40:00 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Lucky9teen

15 posted on 03/26/2010 5:40:17 AM PDT by Bean Counter (I keeps mah feathers numbered, for just such an emergency...)
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To: Lucky9teen

16 posted on 03/26/2010 5:41:02 AM PDT by Bean Counter (I keeps mah feathers numbered, for just such an emergency...)
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To: unkus

17 posted on 03/26/2010 5:47:18 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Watch out for the term SOCIAL JUSTICE! It only equals MARXISM and GOV'T CONTROL!)
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To: Lucky9teen

In honor of Joe Biden:

History’s top 10 times for appropriate use of the F-word

10th - “Scattered f***ing showers, my ass!” - Noah, 4314 BC

9th - “How the f*** did you work that out?” - Pythagoras, 126 BC

8th - “You want WHAT on the f***ing ceiling?” - Michelangelo, 1566

7th - “Where did all those f***ing Indians come from?” - Custer, 1877

6th - “It does so f***ing look like her!” - Picasso, 1926

5th - “Where the f*** are we?” - Amelia Earhart, 1937

4th - “Any f***ing idiot could understand that.” - Einstein, 1938

3rd - “What the f*** was that?” - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

2nd - “I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in the head!” - JFK, 1963

1st - “Aw c’mon. Who the f*** is going to find out?” - Tiger Woods, 2009


18 posted on 03/26/2010 5:47:39 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (It's not the Obama Administration....it's the "Obama Regime".)
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To: Lucky9teen

You’re on a roll! Thanks Lucky9teen.


19 posted on 03/26/2010 5:52:46 AM PDT by unkus
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To: Lucky9teen

20 posted on 03/26/2010 6:10:06 AM PDT by OrioleFan (Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July, democrats believe every day is April 15)
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