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Dead End Drinks (the Rise and Fall of Three Iconic Failures)
Modern Drunkard Magazine ^ | February, 2010 | Frank Kelly Rich

Posted on 03/17/2010 6:19:11 PM PDT by dynachrome

The alcohol industry is forever foisting new “sensations” on the drinking public.

They come and go. Designer vodkas flash and fade like hastily assembled boy bands; new beer genres wail for attention then spiral silently down the drain; strange liqueurs try to muscle their way into our shot glasses then scurry back to whatever faraway land they sprang from.

It’s a crap shoot. But roll those dice they must, and for good reason. Who would have guessed wild-ass ideas like light beer and flavored vodka would have taken hold as they have? Who would have bet money that a medicinal German liqueur would come to dominate the shot market? Some failures are more memorable than others, and below we feature a trio of prominent contenders that fought the good fight then went down with more noise than usual.

(Excerpt) Read more at moderndrunkardmagazine.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: billybeer; moderndrunkard; ripple; zima
I dunno. Ripple was a success, if you consider causing dry heaves a success.
1 posted on 03/17/2010 6:19:11 PM PDT by dynachrome
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To: dynachrome

Zima ... oh, gag!!


2 posted on 03/17/2010 6:33:35 PM PDT by Fast Moving Angel (We'll remember in November!)
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To: dynachrome

Buttermilk stil around.


3 posted on 03/17/2010 6:34:36 PM PDT by Leo Carpathian (fffffFRrrreeeeepppeeee-ssed!)
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To: dynachrome

My vote is for Buckfast...the Scots are having a devil of a time from the side effects of this beauty. ..750 ml contains the caffeine equivalent of 12 cokes and the power of 18% alcohol....the jails and hospitals are filled on payday with it’s victims. ..


4 posted on 03/17/2010 6:44:19 PM PDT by databoss
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To: databoss

There is a thread on FR somewhere about making the highest alcohol beer possible. It was at 42% for the latest one. Yikes!


5 posted on 03/17/2010 6:49:23 PM PDT by dynachrome (Barack Hussein Obama yunikku khinaaziir!)
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To: dynachrome

Don’t badmouth Zima. I have good memories of the drink... Actually it was one night drinking it with a girlfriend in college. Forget the crappy drink, I should find her number.


6 posted on 03/17/2010 6:54:06 PM PDT by rmlew (Not Irish, but I do appreciate fiery redheads and Irish dancing girls.)
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To: dynachrome

That was a great read. I didn’t realize Ripple was aimed at young people. I always associated it with winos.


7 posted on 03/17/2010 7:02:30 PM PDT by Yardstick
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To: dynachrome
The Quebec specialty, Caribou, is a good substitute for Ripple. Zero to heaves in 60 seconds. No buzz, just white noise inside your skull. It's a mixture of red wine (often port) and hard liquor (whisky or white lightnin'). Mon Dieu!


8 posted on 03/17/2010 7:02:51 PM PDT by LibFreeOrDie (Obama promised a gold mine, but will give us the shaft.)
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To: dynachrome
billy Pictures, Images and Photos
9 posted on 03/17/2010 7:59:06 PM PDT by Snickering Hound
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To: dynachrome

The Cosmic Questions of what became of these ethanolic icons, answered at last! Bravo!


10 posted on 03/17/2010 10:26:08 PM PDT by Nepeta
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To: dynachrome

I maintain that there is NOTHING worse than Acadama wine, made in Japan. It is made from poppy seeds and heavily laced with cherry flavoring. It was not unusual to see Japanese men walking down the street, bottle in hand, banging their head against the wall.

The worst drunk I was ever on was, after 25 days at sea and a “Dear John” letter, my two best Marine buddies went on a tear. To this day, I have no recollection of the fourth bottle. Three days later, I was sober.

Semper fi


11 posted on 03/18/2010 5:43:26 AM PDT by NTHockey (Rules of engagement #1: Take no prisoners)
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To: dynachrome
Modern Drunkard Magazine is truly underrated. They have more journalistic integrity than a lot of the MSM.

I read an article in MD a few years ago wherein the author actually went into a ghetto in South Africa to sample the local fermented beverage, which was sold in waxed-paper milk cartons, and was about 2% alcohol. Many locals had never seen a white man so deep in their area; I was scared for him while reading it!

12 posted on 03/18/2010 7:56:13 AM PDT by I Buried My Guns
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