Skip to comments.
~*~*~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~*~*~
Posted on 03/12/2010 4:22:46 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Fáilte O’Bama
It’s President Barack Obama!
And a green toilet plunger!
On Saint Patrick’s Day!
Obama, a Tea Partier, and an Irishman, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Irishman says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.
Obama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Washington DC, protecting it, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around DC.
The Tea Partier asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting Washington DC so that nothing can get in or out."
The Tea Partier says, "Fill it up with water."
An Irishman, Obama and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport.
Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport.
The guards then came to Obama. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" "Oh", replied Obama, "I'll take the German".
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!
What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
Paddy O'Furniture.
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A sham rock.
When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
When it's a French fry!
What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A poor horse is going barefoot!
Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers
instead of his red ones?
The red ones were in the wash.
Why is a river rich?
Because it has two banks.
What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A Jolly Green Giant.
What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
He gets wet.
What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
A leper con.
What is a nuahcerpel?
A leprechaun spelled backwards!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: freepun; irish; luck; ofst; silliness; stpatrick; stpatty
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-59 next last
| You're 10% Irish |
 You're not Irish. Not even a wee bit.
Not even on St. Patrick's Day! |
To: Lucky9teen
2
posted on
03/12/2010 4:24:07 AM PST
by
Loud Mime
(Liberalism is a Socialist Disease)
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 6amgelsmama; 66-442hot; ...
CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Irish!
Irish Who?
Irish you a Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
3
posted on
03/12/2010 4:24:44 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(If politicians had to live by the rules they make, there would be different rules.)
To: Lucky9teen
Early this fine Friday, are we?
Top ten!!!
4
posted on
03/12/2010 4:26:45 AM PST
by
VRWCtaz
(America has Zero to be ashamed of.)
To: VRWCtaz
5
posted on
03/12/2010 4:27:56 AM PST
by
BibChr
("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
To: VRWCtaz
To: eCSMaster
happy friday!
7
posted on
03/12/2010 4:31:42 AM PST
by
absolootezer0
(2x divorced, tattooed, pierced, harley hatin, meghan mccain luvin', smoker and pit bull owner..what?)
To: VRWCtaz
Twas listenin' to me favorite Irish CD, ya see
8
posted on
03/12/2010 4:35:38 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(If politicians had to live by the rules they make, there would be different rules.)
To: Lucky9teen
| You're 20% Irish |
You're not Irish. Not even a wee bit.
Not even on St. Patrick's Day! |
Ancestors American back to the 17th century, came from England before that. No Irish here!!!!
9
posted on
03/12/2010 4:36:01 AM PST
by
fredhead
(Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
To: absolootezer0
Have you tried this?
Good Things Come to Those Who WHITE
A pint of the black stuff becomes a pint of the white stuff with the launch of a creamier new version: "Guinness White". Guinness is made from the same raw ingredients as regular Guinness Draught - hops, barley, water and yeast, but the barley is frozen instead of roasted, which provides the white colour.
10
posted on
03/12/2010 4:37:56 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(If politicians had to live by the rules they make, there would be different rules.)
To: Lucky9teen
11
posted on
03/12/2010 4:41:13 AM PST
by
Daffynition
(What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
To: Lucky9teen
12
posted on
03/12/2010 4:43:30 AM PST
by
fredhead
(Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
To: Lucky9teen
13
posted on
03/12/2010 4:46:51 AM PST
by
dead
(I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
To: Lucky9teen
14
posted on
03/12/2010 4:48:19 AM PST
by
TSgt
(RE-ELECT NOBODY - VOTE THEM ALL OUT!)
To: All
Nancy Pelosi urged the passage of the health care bill saying: “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy. “
US President Barack Obama has joked that half of the 40,000 letters that pour into the White House each day brand him an “idiot’’.
PETA flies banner over SeaWorld demanding whale release
[The man-killing killer whale]
We have just experienced yet another ...
Close Encounter with the Loony Left [link-list]
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2464035/posts
[Files that seek to resolve: are they human?]
15
posted on
03/12/2010 4:48:49 AM PST
by
Arthur Wildfire! March
(Weakening McCain strengthens our borders, weakens guest worker legislation.)
To: Lucky9teen
16
posted on
03/12/2010 4:49:13 AM PST
by
TSgt
(RE-ELECT NOBODY - VOTE THEM ALL OUT!)
To: Lucky9teen
TOP TWENTY!I myself will be spending St Pat's Day in IRELAND! Leaving tomorrow morning!
17
posted on
03/12/2010 4:50:07 AM PST
by
Rummyfan
(Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
To: Lucky9teen
Two Illegals are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree.
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this. Just couldn't help it!
18
posted on
03/12/2010 4:57:34 AM PST
by
tomkow6
(...................TOMKOW6 ! The ONLY voice of reason & sanity in a chaotic Canteen!...............)
To: Lucky9teen
you’re about 2 weeks early for that ad :P
19
posted on
03/12/2010 4:58:08 AM PST
by
absolootezer0
(2x divorced, tattooed, pierced, harley hatin, meghan mccain luvin', smoker and pit bull owner..what?)
To: Lucky9teen; Loud Mime
20
posted on
03/12/2010 5:00:29 AM PST
by
alfa6
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-59 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson
