Posted on 01/15/2010 6:13:54 AM PST by Thirteen
Edited on 01/16/2010 1:19:45 PM PST by Admin Moderator. [history]
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, Republicans elected in Massachusetts... mass hysteria!
That's right: if the latest polls are to believed, ultra-evil GOP candidate Scott Brown has drawn within striking distance of Democrat Martha Coakley in the race for the Massachusetts US Senate seat. If -- God forbid -- Brown wins, he will be the first Republican elected in the state since Cotton Mather, and America will soon descend into a post-apocalyptic fundamentalist hellscape of witch trials and cross-burnings, interrupted only by the ritual mass bulldozing of corpses killed by lack of access to affordable health care. Not to mention relaxed federal fuel efficiency standards!
(Excerpt) Read more at iowahawk.typepad.com ...
Classic Iowahawk. That’s the way you do satire.
Oh man, that was hysterical. And a pretty good hit rate in the comments too!
Thanks for posting!
I left one in the comments section. Does that not count as an entry?
I wonder how my post in the comments is going over?
“Coakley” really reminds me of the word “cloaca”...
In zoological anatomy, a cloaca is the posterior opening that serves as the only such opening for the intestinal and urinary tracts of certain animal species. The word comes from Latin, and means sewer.
For my money the best ones were the one by “Ling Carter” near the bottom, and “Odd Bodkins” in the middle.
Hysterical stuff.
.
Oh, and ‘Farmer Joe’. Dang, such a wealth of talent.
If I thought Scott Brown would shut down the St. Patrick’s Day Parade and actually turn it into Yankee Appreciation Day, I’d move to MA in order to vote for him.
Ted Kennedy (in a drunken slur): “I am Ted Kennedy. I may be dead, but I am still going to vote for Martha Coakely because I want my seat to remain Democrat and Progressive and because I am proud of her record of coddling the guilty and punishing the innocent. Won’t you join me, Mary Jo Kopechne and tens thousands of other dead and imaginary voters in supporting the gains Obama has made for the less fortunate? Vote with us for Martha Coakley.”
This message produced by ACORN in cooperation with the SEIU.
The one near the bottom was really good.
My humble submission...
(Fade in to image of shadowed figure, face obscured)
MAN’S VOICE: Don’t judge me. I just like getting pushed around. Lots of people do...
(Cut to video of headbanger concert, football tackle, man mudwrestling with three half-naked WWE divas)
MAN’S VOICE: But Scott Brown refuses to push me down and step on my face. His security detachment won’t even lay a hand on me...
(Cut to video of SCOTT BROWN shaking the hand, and conversing politely with a MAN with face obscured by pixilation)
MAN’S VOICE: But Martha Coakley will treat me rough, like the naughty, naughty boy that I am...
(Cut to stills of Weekly Standard reporter curb stomp, while Martha Coakley looks on, smiling)
MAN’S VOICE: Vote for Martha Coakley. She will give us the kind of treatment we all know we deserve.
Sorry for the previous ping. I didn’t see this thread.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.