Truth about the new German xPhone...

GearLog ^ | 12/10/2009

[Swordmaker]

The Apple iPhone doesn't make coffee. It can't print photos. It doesn't read VHS tapes. And it doesn't come in "every color that exists." But the xPhone, currently all the rage on YouTube, is all of those things. Could this new product from Germany literally nuke the iPhone into nonexistence?

Watch the official video on the revolutionary iPhone killer, the new phenomenal xPhone.

Yes, that's actual German, mostly just narrating what you're seeing on the screen - except for the bit about the colors.

The entirely imaginary xPhone was a graduation project for Martin Fischer, a 25-year-old computer graphics designer in Germany. He hacked the video together in three days, and told Gearlog that he had a lot of ideas for features that never made it into the video. No, it isn't a real phone. But it will sell as many units as the Apple Tablet will this year.

Also purely imaginary is the Pomegranate Phone, last year's fabulous iPhone killer. The Pomegranate Phone, part of a somewhat inexplicable ad campaign for the Canadian province of Nova Scotia, made coffee and acted as an electric shaver. In fact, I feel a chart coming on ...

	Pomegranate Phone	xPhone	iPhone 3GS
Location	Nova Scotia	Germany	California
Color	Red	Black	Black and White
Local Hottie	Ellen Page	Franka Potente	Steve Jobs
Coffee Capabilities	Brews, with little pods	Just reheats it	Orders from Dunkin' Donuts
Other Morning Function	Electric shaver	Makes toast	Alarm Clock
Use of Energy	Built-in projector	Nuclear powered	Flashlight

[Swordmaker]

The new German iPhone killer, the phenomenal xPhone will accept ALL known storage media, print directly in full color, and produce amazing physical MMS messages... PING!

Watch the astounding demo... it will just blow away the Apple iPhone

The iPhone is toast... Ping!

If you want on or off the Mac Ping List, Freepmail me.

[Swordmaker]

Nuclear Powered, it can jumpstart your car...

[Loud Mime]

ausgesichtnet!

Shades of 2001 a space odyssey!

[SunkenCiv]

The entirely imaginary xPhone was a graduation project for Martin Fischer, a 25-year-old computer graphics designer in Germany... No, it isn't a real phone... Also purely imaginary is the Pomegranate Phone, last year's fabulous iPhone killer. The Pomegranate Phone, part of a somewhat inexplicable ad campaign for the Canadian province of Nova Scotia, made coffee and acted as an electric shaver.

I'm sure he'll be sued for patent infringement by a "company" that produces nothing but lawsuits. :') Thanks Swordmaker.

[6SJ7]

A nuclear powered coffee mug warmer. Cool!

[raybbr]

ausgesichtnet!

Velleicht "Ausgezeichnet" wird besser sein.

[SlowBoat407]

Loffin Autlaud

[antiRepublicrat]

I know we have grammar and spelling Nazis here, but you add a whole new twist to the phrase when you do it in German. :)

[Tribune7]

I'm waiting for one that can be used as a phaser.

I take that back. I'm waiting for one that can be used as a beta-capsule so I can turn into Ultra-man when necessary.

[antiRepublicrat]

I love the SMS2Toast technology!

Being anal, one mistake, an induction cooktop wouldn’t warm up a coffee cup.

And whoever did the Pomegranate was great. I liked how the screen wiped with the shape of the device. Nice little touch.

[Sherman Logan]

Being anal, one mistake, an induction cooktop wouldn’t warm up a coffee cup.

Being even more anal, I have a stainless steel cup I use when camping. The induction cooktop would warm it just fine.

[antiRepublicrat]

Okay, I should have written *that* coffee cup.

[TXnMA]

"I'm waiting for one that can be used as a phaser."

Same here. It would beat packing a .45 or even a 9mm for weight. Of course, for legal and/or moral considerations, there should be an option available to order it permanently set on "STUN"... ;-)

[vox_freedom]

amazing, I'm selling my home and car to get one.

Thanks Swordmaker, for the
!

[mowowie]

Amazing technology.

I WANT one!!!

[Star Traveler]

Okay..., okay, I’ll admit it... the xPhone is the first iPhone killer I’ve ever seen.... :-)

[RightOnTheLeftCoast]

"The Apple iPhone doesn't make coffee. It can't print photos."

Horsepucky, at least to the printing part. There's an app for that: HP iPrint works marvelously. It prints your photos (or screen-captures) from your iPhone over WiFi to your HP printer. There's no configuration required, either. It simply scans the local WiFi LAN and lets you pick from any HP printers it finds. Fast and glorious, and it even integrates some simple editing features. It's got a really nice and intuitive user interface.

And it's free. Software sells hardware, y'know.

I think Epson has a print app out now too.

[Star Traveler]

Some previous Apple articles posted on Free Republic...
at least by Star Traveler

• Who Can Kill the iPhone?
• Apple's iTunes overtakes Amazon in overall music sales
• Apple iPhone expected to drive mobile phone industry toward fancier touch screens
• Apple devotees rush stores for iPhone
• Mac users 'ecstatic' about new Apple Store
• Jobs Is Back, Apple's Still Standing, Life Goes On
• Out with Treos, in with iPhones
• Letters from Microsoft: An Employee Tosses His Zune
• Apple's 99-Cent Apps Are Too Cheap, Microsoft Says
• ONE IN FOUR SONGS IN U.S. BOUGHT ON iTUNES
• "APPLE HAS CHANGED THE WAY THE GAME IS PLAYED", says MSFT Win Mob chief
• iPhones Cause People To Talk Less
• GROKLAW’S EXCELLENT TAKE ON THE RECENT PSYSTAR SHENANIGANS (Apple Computer)
• PSYSTAR HIT WITH $5K FINE FOR DISCOVERY ABUSE (Apple Computer)
• INTEGO SPOTS MALWARE BLOCKER IN SNOW LEOPARD (Apple Mac OS X)
• Parallels to make switching to the Mac easier, safe and painless
• THE IPHONE & STEVE BALLMER: IT’S TIME FOR HIM TO EAT SOME SERIOUS CROW
• An in-depth look at Psystar’s legal defeat at the hands of Apple
• Has Palm finally given up on the great cat/mouse/iTunes chase of ‘09?
• Jobs’ Personal, Terse Reply to Developer [Apple Computer]
• Android goes for iPhone weak spot: porn apps [Porn is iPhone Killer?]
• Mac sales projected to grow 26% in 2010, outpacing PC market
• Apple's iPhone On Its Way To Becoming The Microsoft Windows Of Mobile
• Is Apple the Mobile Walmart?
• Apple's Base Stations Have Three 802.11n Streams [Faster WiFi on Apple]
• Analysis: Apple Embraces The Cloud, Positions Mobile With Lala Deal [Extends iTunes]
• Forget The iPhone: The iPod touch Is Where It’s At
• >All Hail the iPod touch
• Apple Bans Another Developer, 1000+ Apps Pulled [Developer scamming reviews]
• Lala purchase may hint at the coming of the rumored iTunes Replay service
• Dragon Dictation comes to the iPhone. Wow. [iPhone Talk-to-text]
• Apple can be copied, but can it be beat?
• Why Apple succeeds, and always will
• Apple Says Nokia Missed The Boat And “Chose To Copy The iPhone” Instead

[Star Traveler]

Some more previous Apple articles posted on Free Republic...
these by Swordmaker

• Parallels 5 boasts huge speed improvement
• Bizarre lawsuits connect Apple with Sarah Jessica Parker, Lil' Wayne
• Amid Transition, Rivals Are Descending on Apple
• First iPhone [Jailbroken] worm discovered - ikee changes wallpaper to Rick Astley photo
• Apple releases Mac OS X 10.6.2
• Is Snow Leopard the new Vista?
• Apple tablet could cement Jobs' legacy
• Apple releases Safari 4.0.4 for Mac and Windows
• PEDRAZA VS. MACINTOSH: WORMS IN THE APPLE
• Microsoft Patents Sudo?!!
• Apple Crushes Clone Maker [Psystar] in Court
• Apple Wins Like a Champ - Psystar is Toast -- What? You're Surprised?
• AT&T, Apple Accused in suit of misleading consumers
• Tests: Windows PC "crapware" adds 2 minutes boot time Apps on Win 7 PCs still slow vs Apple
• iPhone owners demand to see Apple source code
• Apple Set to Propose Damages in Psystar Case
• Another iPhone worm, but this one is serious
• Apple Moves for Permanent Injunction in Psystar Case
• Nearly half the money spent at US retail on desktop PCs goes to Apple
• Failure to launch: Would-be ‘Mac cloner’ Psystar sold just 768 PCs with Apple’s Mac OS X installed
• The Apple Tax Revisited
• Apple moves to kill second Psystar lawsuit
• Psystar, Apple enter partial settlement to cease clone Mac sales
• Psystar agrees to pay Apple $2.7M in settlement
• The great iPhone death watch
• Apple releases Java for Mac OS X 10.6 and 10.5 updates
• Apple Told To Pay Patent Troll OPTi $21.7 Million (AAPL)
• Verizon Droid ad calls Apple iPhone "tiara-wearing digitally clueless pageant queen"
• Attention Apple legal: Kuhgar tries selling Dell Mini 10v preloaded with Mac OS X Snow Leopard
• The Causality Behind Apple's Success
• Windows 7 Family Pack Dissapears For the Holidays
• Apple sued for infringing digital camera patent with iPhone
• Apple and Google and Microsoft sued over icon issue
• Danish Police Department depending on Macs to manage the Environmental Conference
• VisiCalc creator Dan Bricklin: From killer app to iPhone app
• Google releases Google Chrome for Mac beta
• Apple releases FOUR updates... time to see if your Mac is included by clicking on Software Update
• Apple Argues to Include Rebel EFI in Psystar Injunction
• THE MURDER OF MY NEW COMPUTER
• Two cool iPhone apps: one you want, one you need
• Microsoft: Do not mention/use Apple products at our events
• Global CIO: Steve Jobs Is Bugs Bunny But Microsoft Is Elmer Fudd
• How to cram the entire Internet Movie Database (IMDb) into your iPhone
• Truth about the new German xPhone...