Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Roping A Deer Story-Very Funny
Friend | Unknown | Unknown

Posted on 11/19/2009 5:28:48 PM PST by 1776 Reborn

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer -- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand....kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Outdoors; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: deer; hunting; napl
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-100 next last
To: 1776 Reborn
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

Truer words were never spoken.

21 posted on 11/19/2009 6:37:34 PM PST by ottbmare (I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: goat granny

22 posted on 11/19/2009 6:38:01 PM PST by Daffynition (What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Deaf Smith

Could be, couldn’t tell from the email.


23 posted on 11/19/2009 6:40:06 PM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Squantos; Eaker; CedarDave; NerdDad; elkfersupper

ping


24 posted on 11/19/2009 7:38:38 PM PST by razorback-bert (We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 1776 Reborn

Reminds me of the Sqirrel Grenade

http://www.vtwinmama.com/demonic_squirrel_riding_story.htm


25 posted on 11/19/2009 8:11:44 PM PST by packrat35 (Ron Paul is a turd!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: razorback-bert

Wonder if Eaker is Ok ?


26 posted on 11/19/2009 8:33:42 PM PST by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: packrat35

LOL!

That as bad as riding through a honey bee swarm...

Almost!


27 posted on 11/19/2009 9:17:41 PM PST by Randy Larsen ( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Daffynition

OMG Daffy that is really sick but funny,,,,,I like it...:O)


28 posted on 11/19/2009 10:08:30 PM PST by goat granny
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: packrat35

That is a good story too.


29 posted on 11/20/2009 2:01:46 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: 1776 Reborn

bttt


30 posted on 11/20/2009 2:03:11 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 1776 Reborn

bttt


31 posted on 11/20/2009 2:58:52 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: Landru

ping

Here is a link to the Demonic Squirrel story too.
http://www.vtwinmama.com/demonic_squirrel_riding_story.htm


32 posted on 11/20/2009 6:56:46 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: 1776 Reborn
Gottit!!

Loved this: "Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork...Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car...I heard screams. They weren't mine..."

BBWWWWHHHHAAAAAAA!!!

Listen, I live way out in the country.
All kinds of wild critters *and* 3 species of squirrel, the most aggressive of 'em these wicked "little" red suckers with pointed ears. Vulcan squirrels my bride & I call 'em.

We maintain 4 large bird feeders, all of metal with spring activated perches to keep squirrels out. They work.
We provide different foods to attract the area's vast number of song birds, OK?

As a matter of SOP I always throw an ~1qt bucket full of seed on the ground for bird species who don't eat from traditoional hung feeders.
That's when the Wild Turkeys *&* squirrels show up for their share.

I've witnessed these little balls of electricity JUMP on Wild Turkey's back OR front breast, if and/or when, the bird got too close while they fed. The turkey's several magnitude larger in size naturally; but, the things recoil in horror & steer a wide berth 'round those squirrels from then on, too!! LOL

Long story short: I'm positive this happened to the rider-writer. Absolutely. LOL!!

33 posted on 11/20/2009 7:41:52 AM PST by Landru (Forget the pebble Grasshopper, just leave.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Landru

A turkey and squirrel brawl is really something I wouldn’t have thought of. Perhaps it will appeal to the Mexicans as an alternative to dog or chicken fights. (;-)

Did you read the story about the Deer Roper too?


34 posted on 11/20/2009 7:51:23 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: 1776 Reborn
"Did you read the story about the Deer Roper too?"

All that was there was the squirrel story, my friend.
Went to the "home" page & couldn't find anything concerning deer, roping or otherwise.
Where'd I go wrong?

35 posted on 11/20/2009 8:10:20 AM PST by Landru (Forget the pebble Grasshopper, just leave.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: Landru

“Sorry about that. I’m seeing the story on top of your post to me and it works, but here it is to save you looking.”


Roping A Deer Story-

Posted on Thursday, November 19, 2009 8:28:48 PM by 1776 Reborn

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up — 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer — no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer’s momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn’t want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand....kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head —almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal — like a horse —strikes at you with their hooves and you can’t get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.


36 posted on 11/20/2009 8:16:28 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: 1776 Reborn; stephenjohnbanker; FBD; TheConservativeParty; Jo Nuvark
Got it, finally. LOL

Hey, folks? Take a moment to read this piece. Very funny.

Favored excerpt: "I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope...So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds."

BWHAAAA!!!!!

Up here at our spread, the deer come to the feeders at dusk. Since I've a 4x4 wood pole with 3 150W floods illuminating the entire area we can see 'em plain as day, standing all over the place.

Since the "rut" is in full swing, the young bucks ("nubbies" I'm told?) begin fighting each other right there. Heads down, pushing one another all over the place and when they're finished jousting, and eating corn & seed naturally, they'll come onto the lawn to graze on the grass.

The turkeys, geese, deer, rabbits, doves & ducks etc sure are lucky I don't have a taste for wild game. LOL!!

37 posted on 11/20/2009 8:26:55 AM PST by Landru (Forget the pebble Grasshopper, just leave.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Landru
A petting zoo in the making?
38 posted on 11/20/2009 8:31:51 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: Landru

Great story!

LOL!


39 posted on 11/20/2009 8:34:38 AM PST by stephenjohnbanker (Support our troops, and vote out the RINO's!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: 1776 Reborn

Landru it looks like you have been on FR a long time.
Did you every hear of Russia giving the U.S. a 9/11
monument? I just heard about this today. Here is a
link to one of the stories about it.

http://www.russiablog.org/2006/07/russia_donates_911_memorial_to.php


40 posted on 11/20/2009 8:44:04 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-100 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson