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How men amuse themselves in Supermarkets
Tesco | 11/06/09

Posted on 11/06/2009 3:59:45 AM PST by Vanders9

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford, UK :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: culture; humor; napl; supermarkets; uk
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This is supposed to be a true letter, but even if its a make up, its pretty funny!
1 posted on 11/06/2009 3:59:47 AM PST by Vanders9
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To: Vanders9

I look at pretty girls.


2 posted on 11/06/2009 4:06:17 AM PST by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: driftdiver

I look at pretty girls out of the corner of my eye (after having been caught by my pretty wife).


3 posted on 11/06/2009 4:09:48 AM PST by samtheman
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To: samtheman

Exactly!

It helps to wander off to a separate aisle to get something.


4 posted on 11/06/2009 4:12:20 AM PST by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: Vanders9
And I thought we all just headed for the magazines.
5 posted on 11/06/2009 4:13:57 AM PST by Jagdgewehr (B. Hussein Obama is not the legitimate POTUS. He is nothing more than America's largest cult leader)
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To: samtheman; driftdiver

There must be a much greater standard of pretty women where you lucky two live then...


6 posted on 11/06/2009 4:14:49 AM PST by Vanders9
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To: Jagdgewehr

I particularly like the tomato juice smear to the feminine products aisle. I might try that one :)


7 posted on 11/06/2009 4:16:05 AM PST by Vanders9
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To: Vanders9

“There must be a much greater standard of pretty women where you lucky two live then.”

I live in Florida, the spectrum here is very broad. The high end isn’t bad and since its usually hot shorts and t-shirts are very common.


8 posted on 11/06/2009 4:16:41 AM PST by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: driftdiver

That’s it, I’m moving...


9 posted on 11/06/2009 4:20:41 AM PST by Vanders9
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To: Vanders9

Shopping from other people’s carts can be a real time saver...just need a dozen eggs; and don’t want to waste time running to the back of the store? Help yourselves to the eggs in a convenient cart, and when somebody howls “Hey! Those are my eggs!” you reply “Not yet.” (Must be done BEFORE checkout.)


10 posted on 11/06/2009 4:24:53 AM PST by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: Vanders9

This has been circulating in email for years. I’ve seen it as shopping in Wal-Mart. It’s still funny though.


11 posted on 11/06/2009 4:26:49 AM PST by FReepaholic (Give me ambiguity or give me something else!)
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To: Vanders9

There’s a couple there,
I have not tried at my store.
Sunday will be fun...


12 posted on 11/06/2009 4:26:57 AM PST by Haiku Guy (If You have a Right / To the Service I provide / I must be Your Slave)
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To: Vanders9

Inspiring.


13 posted on 11/06/2009 4:27:34 AM PST by Louis Foxwell (He is the son of soulless slavers, not the son of soulful slaves.+)
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To: Vanders9
Things I'll admit to.....
1..but only did it 3 times
2..only twice and years apart
3..no too much work
4..worth looking into
5..nope
6..too much work
7..????...cept for the crying..we've all done that
8..early years of cams,I've mooned
9..filed for future consideration
10..done...without the humming, we're all guilty of that
11..no those items, but had fun with Halloween masks
12..close, I hid a few “furbies” in strategic areas
13..not quite, but have uttered rhetorical adult type response
14..now planned for 14:15 this afternoon
14 posted on 11/06/2009 4:30:57 AM PST by Doogle (USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: Vanders9

ROFL!!!!!


15 posted on 11/06/2009 4:34:55 AM PST by eeevil conservative (GIVE ME A PLACE TO STAND AND I WILL MOVE THE EARTH....Archimedes)
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To: driftdiver

You too? Great minds think alike! :-D


16 posted on 11/06/2009 4:38:29 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Barack Hussein Obama: the country's greatest firearms salesman!)
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To: driftdiver
"I look at pretty girls."

Shame, shame on you ...

I look at the pretty Moms ...

17 posted on 11/06/2009 4:39:29 AM PST by tom h
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To: tom h

to me all pretty females are girls. they may be moms as well. the ones I’m referring to are certainly old enough unlike your implication.


18 posted on 11/06/2009 4:45:21 AM PST by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: Vanders9

Funny


19 posted on 11/06/2009 4:49:58 AM PST by traderrob6
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To: driftdiver

most people choose the checkout by how short the line is. I choose the checkout that has the cutest checkout girl.


20 posted on 11/06/2009 4:50:37 AM PST by fhayek
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