Posted on 10/09/2009 8:31:37 AM PDT by Keltik
President Barack Obama won the Heisman Trophy on Friday, in a surprise pick from New York's Downtown Athletic Club that cited the president's creation of a "new climate in college football" and his work on establishing a playoff system.
Though Mr. Obama has been president for just 37 weeks and technically never played college football, the Heisman voters praised him for giving the world hope for a better post-season and encouraging the need for change.
Miss Universe is next, followed by Miss Galaxy.
No way he gets Miss America ... Rush is one of the judges.
Oh, no, I think Rush’s participation actually improves his chances!
I posted the below earlier in the year—here’s a new verse to add to it:
(Sung to the tune of If I Only Had a Brain)
Oh, my fame has now gone global-
I’ve finally won the Nobel
for all the things I do.
and, now, in an all-time first:
Michelle’s been crowned Miss Universe!
If you only had a clue.
People swoon when I have spoken.
Im much more than a token,
Im clean and articulate, too.
Ill look tall and trim and dapper
as I lead you down the crapper
If you only had a clue.
Oh, the media had folks thinkin
Id be another Lincoln-
What awesome things Id do!
But these days the press is squirmin
cause Im more like Pee Wee Herman.
If you only had a clue.
Capitalisms what Im hatin
and Im sick and tired of waitin
for its heyday to be through.
So Ill take my team of wankers
and Ill sic em on the bankers
If you only had a clue.
Reverend Wrights the guy I follow,
my denials all were hollow-
Not a single one was true.
I act serious and wonk-y
as I stick it to the honkies
If you only had a clue.
I think Islams fine and dandy-
My election came in handy
for Iranand Syria, too.
Now their muscles theyll be flexin
cause you voted by complexion
If you only had a clue.
Oh, Michelles a chic trendsetter-
She clearly is your better.
A Princeton graduate, too.
But you crackers best not test her-
cause she morphs into Aunt Esther!
If you only had a clue
I put a garden in my backyard,
And made fun of some retards,
and picked my Final Four, too.
Dee-doo-de-doo-de-doo-doo
Im on 60 Minutes laughin
as the economy is crashin
If you only had a clue.
Now Im fixin and Im changin,
And busy re-arrangin.
I have no need for you.
If you whine that Im appalling
Ill have ACORN come a calling
If you only had a clue.
Ive no intent of stoppin
Im gonna keep you hoppin-
My reign youre going to rue
Youll be wishin I was Carter!
Youll be wishin youd been smarter!
If you only had a clue.
“gain the Triple Crown, by several lengths in each race”.
-—I don’t think so. Robert Gibbs is the jockey.
bookmark... He is a prime candidate for this post..
His credentials are impectable.
I nominate him “Queen of the Night”.
Lol! I sang the whole song through with the tune. That was brilliant!
North Pole. The real Santa and Mrs. Clause received eviction notice today and have been ordered to vacate the North Pole immediately so that the newly appointed Barack and Michelle Obama can begin serving immediately as the new (and improved) Santa and Mrs. Clause. The drastic move became necessary as the former Santa and Mrs. Clause continually asserted that Barack and Michelle could not possibly become Santa because of his Muslim religion. However, that notion was dismissed by the Presiding Majority Elf Leader, Nancy Pelosi, calling the former Santa and Mrs. Clause "artificial snow". "As the holiday season approaches, it was imperative to make this change quickly or face certain catastrophe in the upcoming holiday season. Imagine all the children of the world not receiving their toys because Barack and Michelle could not do their duly appointed job of being all things to all people."
Rudolph was not available for comment, but Donner and Blitzen were overheard while enjoying a carrot snack in the barn that plans were being made for a local protest amongst the former Santa and Mrs. Clause supporters. They were referring to the protest as a "Hot Chocolate Party" in reference to the time the Abominable Snowman once tried to take over, but was promptly brought down by an onslaught of angry elves hurling hot chocolate in his face. Those same elves are said to be just as angry at this latest usurping of the rightful Santa's position. Expect angry mobs and manufactured protests to ensue at the North Pole over the next several weeks.
Thanks. I think it’s funny too—but if I re-read the lyrics too closely, I get upset. It’s all too true.
Do you mind if I send your song to some of my family through email?
I’d be honored—once again, glad you like it.
A Major Prize!
number Zero wins Heisman for most Safeties allowed in a single game, in a single month, in a single season
Obama Defeats Fly Guy for Pimp of the Year.
Barry was awardedc 1st Place in..
Bareback BroncoThese are all REAL EVENTS in the International Gay Rodeo Association
Chute Dogging
Breakaway Roping
Calf Roping on Foot
Goat Dressing
Steer Decorating
(and last but not least...)
Pole Bending
I don't even wanna know what Goat Dressing & Steer Decorating is, let alone .. 'Pole Bending'
I sang this to some people tonight. They LOVED it! We think YOU deserve the nobel peace prize!
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