I posted the below earlier in the year—here’s a new verse to add to it:
(Sung to the tune of If I Only Had a Brain)
Oh, my fame has now gone global-
I’ve finally won the Nobel
for all the things I do.
and, now, in an all-time first:
Michelle’s been crowned Miss Universe!
If you only had a clue.
People swoon when I have spoken.
Im much more than a token,
Im clean and articulate, too.
Ill look tall and trim and dapper
as I lead you down the crapper
If you only had a clue.
Oh, the media had folks thinkin
Id be another Lincoln-
What awesome things Id do!
But these days the press is squirmin
cause Im more like Pee Wee Herman.
If you only had a clue.
Capitalisms what Im hatin
and Im sick and tired of waitin
for its heyday to be through.
So Ill take my team of wankers
and Ill sic em on the bankers
If you only had a clue.
Reverend Wrights the guy I follow,
my denials all were hollow-
Not a single one was true.
I act serious and wonk-y
as I stick it to the honkies
If you only had a clue.
I think Islams fine and dandy-
My election came in handy
for Iranand Syria, too.
Now their muscles theyll be flexin
cause you voted by complexion
If you only had a clue.
Oh, Michelles a chic trendsetter-
She clearly is your better.
A Princeton graduate, too.
But you crackers best not test her-
cause she morphs into Aunt Esther!
If you only had a clue
I put a garden in my backyard,
And made fun of some retards,
and picked my Final Four, too.
Dee-doo-de-doo-de-doo-doo
Im on 60 Minutes laughin
as the economy is crashin
If you only had a clue.
Now Im fixin and Im changin,
And busy re-arrangin.
I have no need for you.
If you whine that Im appalling
Ill have ACORN come a calling
If you only had a clue.
Ive no intent of stoppin
Im gonna keep you hoppin-
My reign youre going to rue
Youll be wishin I was Carter!
Youll be wishin youd been smarter!
If you only had a clue.
Lol! I sang the whole song through with the tune. That was brilliant!
Do you mind if I send your song to some of my family through email?
Mac, I have GOT to steal that for my Facebook page! LMAO!!!