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Naked neighbour ‘put me off men’(and sausages)
Get Reading.Com ^ | September 02, 2009 | Anna Roberts

Posted on 09/02/2009 1:23:26 PM PDT by llevrok

The victim of garden pervert Paul Darlow – who told a court he had put her off men and sausages for life – has told how she still suffers flashbacks.

Denise Woodage saw oddball Darlow pleasuring himself in his back garden in Churchwood Walk, Calcot, and frequently spotted him going about his chores naked – save for a pair of boots.

Naked gardener 'puts neighbour off sausages'

Darlow faced trial at Reading Crown Court after denying indecent exposure with intent to cause alarm or distress but was convicted last Friday. He was jailed for six weeks.

The 54-year-old, who is mum to Hazel, 26, told the Post she was now anti-men as a result of seeing Darlow’s “pale and hairy” body in the November chill and is now on anti-depressants.

Mrs Woodage, who does not work, first saw the 53-year-old flashing in March 2008. She complained to police and they installed CCTV.

In November 2008 – after capturing Darlow on film flashing his bits yet again – he was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

He initially denied the incidents but during his trial, before Judge Zoë Smith, he confessed to touching himself outdoors.

However, he claimed he did not realise Mrs Woodage could see his actions and he did not intend to cause her distress – a claim the jury did not believe.

Mrs Woodage told the Post: “I am now on anti-depressants and also sleeping tablets – this has really affected me. There are not many houses in this street and [there are] a lot of children. I would’ve hated for them to see Darlow flashing.

“I didn’t even know his name when I first saw him but I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it.

“He looks younger than he is and he was well-endowed and really hairy.

“It has put me off men.

“Initially I didn’t think anyone would believe me. When it happened again I raced over to my neighbour’s house – I didn’t want to go to another neighbour as he has a poor heart and I was worried about the shock. This has affected me so much. I do not like going out now. He has been given a jail sentence but I have received a life sentence.”

Sarah Darlow, Darlow’s wife, told the Post yesterday: “I stuck by him throughout the case but now I have left him. He obviously needs help and he said he is willing to get it.”

Darlow was also given a Sexual Offences Prohibition Order which will run indefinitely and prohibits him from exposing his genitals in front of members of the public.

And he was ordered to sign the Sexual Offenders’ Register for seven years



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: cocktailweenie; napl; viennasausages
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not Barney Frank's missing sister...
1 posted on 09/02/2009 1:23:26 PM PDT by llevrok
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To: llevrok
Her story sounds like a bunch of baloney...


2 posted on 09/02/2009 1:25:33 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: llevrok
You are right, she(it?) does look like Barney Frank..

3 posted on 09/02/2009 1:26:12 PM PDT by mnehring
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To: llevrok

What a drama queen. Also, I’m pretty sure, even if she weren’t “put off” of men, she’d still be lacking in that department.


4 posted on 09/02/2009 1:26:39 PM PDT by Rodebrecht (Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.)
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To: llevrok

It’s obvious that she swallows, but does she even chew?


5 posted on 09/02/2009 1:27:04 PM PDT by tired1 (When the Devil eats you there's only one way out.)
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To: llevrok; Owl_Eagle; Sam's Army; Darksheare; pissant; najida; r-q-tek86; blackie; Rightly Biased; ...

NAKED SAUSAGE PING!!!!


6 posted on 09/02/2009 1:27:19 PM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.)
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To: llevrok
Pleasuring himself, eh?

(Was he wearing glasses?)

7 posted on 09/02/2009 1:28:13 PM PDT by IbJensen (If Catholic voters were true to their faith there would be no abortion and no President Obama.)
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To: llevrok

Bangers.


8 posted on 09/02/2009 1:29:02 PM PDT by IbJensen (If Catholic voters were true to their faith there would be no abortion and no President Obama.)
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To: llevrok
not Barney Frank's missing sister...

Oh...I thought that the photo was of the defendant.

9 posted on 09/02/2009 1:29:38 PM PDT by CASchack
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To: llevrok

I think men have been put off to her for a long long time.

10 posted on 09/02/2009 1:30:15 PM PDT by Phantom Lord (Fall on to your knees for the Phantom Lord)
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To: IbJensen
Pleasuring himself, eh?

I pleasure myself too. Usually it's with gin, but sometimes beer.

11 posted on 09/02/2009 1:31:56 PM PDT by llevrok (As a matter of fact, yes I DO care if Jimmy cracks corn !)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Revolting cat!
SEPARATED AT BIRTH?!!!


12 posted on 09/02/2009 1:32:01 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (Kennedycare?Recall that "Animal Farm" begins with a Socialist Revolution to honor Big Major's legacy)
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To: Phantom Lord

She looks just like the woman started yelling at me because my puppy was going #2 in front of her house, on the sidewalk. She had the nerve to tell me it made her stomach turn and I felt like saying not as much as my stomach is turning having to look at you!


13 posted on 09/02/2009 1:33:13 PM PDT by Boardwalk
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To: a fool in paradise
Here she is during better times...


14 posted on 09/02/2009 1:34:02 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: llevrok

“The female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It’s for gettin’ around. It’s like a Jeep.”
- Elaine, in “The Apology” < /seinfeld >


15 posted on 09/02/2009 1:34:20 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (Kennedycare?Recall that "Animal Farm" begins with a Socialist Revolution to honor Big Major's legacy)
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To: llevrok

16 posted on 09/02/2009 1:34:54 PM PDT by snarks_when_bored
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To: llevrok

A potential candidate for “happy” marriage.


17 posted on 09/02/2009 1:36:02 PM PDT by Paladin2 (Big Ears + Big Spending --> BigEarMarx, the man behind TOTUS)
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To: llevrok

Punch line to a related joke:

“But officer, if you climb all the way up on this step stool, lean far over to the left and look down and to the right, you can see him.”


18 posted on 09/02/2009 1:37:30 PM PDT by savedbygrace (You are only leading if someone follows. Otherwise, you just wandered off... [Smokin' Joe])
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To: llevrok
“You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk."

"Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.”

Winston Churchill

19 posted on 09/02/2009 1:38:20 PM PDT by 2banana (My common ground with terrorists - they want to die for islam and we want to kill them)
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To: Joe 6-pack

benny Hill was an absolute geneious.


20 posted on 09/02/2009 1:38:25 PM PDT by oust the louse (This Country now has a smelly BO problem.....)
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