Posted on 08/09/2009 1:00:29 PM PDT by KoRn
This is a 'Fishy' letter generator to help everyone report nefarious activity that goes against the wishes of our dear leader.
I encourage everyone to use it!! lol
ok
Dear Rahm Emmanuel,
Good day and compliments. This letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine the future and continued existence of the entire members of my family.
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr Servant of the One (M.O.N), the 3rd cousin of the late head of state and commander in chief of the armed forces of the federal republic of Nigeria who died in West Detroit on the 8th of June 1998.
My ordeal started immediately after my cousin's death by shoe, disguised as complications from enlarged angular brain tumor, on the morning of 8th June 1998, and the subsequent take over of government by the last administration. The present democratic government ruled by SEIU is determined to portray all the good work of my late cousin on the issue of Health Care in a bad light, accusing him of drinking Sherry and eating crayfish as would an infidel, and have gone as far as confiscating all my late cousin's assets, properties, even his sloop, freezing our accounts both within and outside Nigeria. As I am writing this letter to you, my son Mohammed Abacha is undergoing questioning with the government. All these measures taken by past/present government is just to gain international recognition.
I and the entire members of my family have been held incommunicado since the death of my cousin, hence I seek your indulgence to assist us in securing these funds. We are not allowed to see or discuss with anybody. Few occasions I have tired traveling abroad through alternative means all failed.
It is in view of this I have mandated DR GALADIMA HASSAN, who has been assisting the family to run around on so many issues to act on behalf of the family concerning the substance of this letter. He has the full power of attorney to execute this transaction with you.
My late cousin had/has USD $25 billion specially preserved and well packed in trunk boxes of which only my cousin and I knew about. It is packed in such a way to forestall just anybody having access to it. It is this sum that I seek your assistance to get out of Nigeria as soon as possible before the present civilian government finds out about it and confiscate it just like they have done to all our assets.
I implore you to please give consideration to my predicament and help a cousin in need.
May Allah show you mercy as you do so?
Your faithfully,
Dr Servant of the One (M.O.N)
N/B: Please contact Dr Galadima Hassan on this e-mail address for further briefing and modalities
This may be of interest.
The more useless ‘noise’ going into their mailboxes the better! Just be sure to instruct people to use ‘throwaway’ email accounts to send messages, preferably from public or shared computers.
Dear President Obama,
Good day and compliments. This letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine the future and continued existence of the entire members of my family.
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr Martin Hopewell (M.O.N), the 3rd cousin of the late head of state and commander in chief of the armed forces of the federal republic of Nigeria who died in Bora Bora on the 8th of June 1998.
My ordeal started immediately after my cousin's death by pen knife, disguised as complications from gout, on the morning of 8th June 1998, and the subsequent take over of government by the last administration. The present democratic government ruled by Caucasians is determined to portray all the good work of my late cousin on the issue of Health Care in a bad light, accusing him of drinking Dr. Pepper and eating baby shrimp as would an infidel, and have gone as far as confiscating all my late cousin's assets, properties, even his yacht, freezing our accounts both within and outside Nigeria. As I am writing this letter to you, my son Mohammed Abacha is undergoing questioning with the government. All these measures taken by past/present government is just to gain international recognition.
I and the entire members of my family have been held incommunicado since the death of my cousin, hence I seek your indulgence to assist us in securing these funds. We are not allowed to see or discuss with anybody. Few occasions I have tired traveling abroad through alternative means all failed.
It is in view of this I have mandated DR GALADIMA HASSAN, who has been assisting the family to run around on so many issues to act on behalf of the family concerning the substance of this letter. He has the full power of attorney to execute this transaction with you.
My late cousin had/has USD $14,000 specially preserved and well packed in trunk boxes of which only my cousin and I knew about. It is packed in such a way to forestall just anybody having access to it. It is this sum that I seek your assistance to get out of Nigeria as soon as possible before the present civilian government finds out about it and confiscate it just like they have done to all our assets.
I implore you to please give consideration to my predicament and help a cousin in need.
May Allah show you mercy as you do so?
Your faithfully,
Dr Martin Hopewell (M.O.N)
N/B: Please contact Dr Galadima Hassan on this e-mail address for further briefing and modalities.
ROFL!!!!
Excellent!!
Sound much more intelligent than the average 419 scam, not to mention most postings at Kos and DUmp!
There . . . fixed it before I e-mailed it.
My late cousin had/has USD $14,000 and your Kenyan birth certificate specially preserved and well packed in trunk boxes of which only my cousin and I knew about. It is packed in such a way to forestall just anybody having access to it. It is this sum that I seek your assistance to get out of Nigeria as soon as possible before the present civilian government finds out about it and confiscate it just like they have done to all our assets.
Then I would have been sure of getting a response.
I heard some fishy conversations around the spinach dip at a party this weekend. I’m wondering how I can find out these people’s email addresses so I can report them for spreading rumors while they were spreading spinach dip on their Ritz crackers.
Any ideas?
I heard a rumor that the head of the “health care excrement” refuses to provide I-9 work documentation!
My ordeal started immediately after my cousin's death by teleprompter, disguised as complications from wasting oxygen, on the morning of 8th June 1998, and the subsequent take over of government by the last administration. The present democratic government ruled by pres__ent without ID is determined to portray all the good work of my late cousin on the issue of fishy rumors in a bad light, accusing him of drinking champaine and eating eat it as would an infidel,
My sons underwear draw, complete with socks that cannot possibly be clean, is extraordinarily smelly and I wish there were a way to capture scent and send it on...I would not hesitate to drop it into the wh mailbox with my compliments. There pathetic reach to shut down disagreement is kindergarten-esk. To blatant for words. Immature and creepy and it reminds me of the way I feel when uhbama makes a speech across the pond....totally embarrassed for our White House.
Fantastic!
High Programmer Linda Douglass-U-GOV:
It was another perfect day in Alpha Complex under Friend Computer’s benevolent, omnipresent watchful cameras. We were all happy in our assigned service firms, working away at our assigned fun jobs, when my PDC bleeped and I received a mission alert. How fun! It read: ‘TROUBLESHOOTER! You have been assigned to a fun and challenging mission. This mission is designated HIGH PRIORITY by Troubleshooter Dispatch. You are to proceed immediately to Briefing Room 2910, Level 87, Sector FOG for a briefing by Internal Security Case Officer Rahm-I-MNL. This message is classified RED clearance. Further details are not available at your security clearance. ‘ARMED FORCES INTERNAL OPERATION, CODENAME ‘gulf of mexico kool-aide’, CLASSIFICATION RED EYES ONLY. You are ordered to report to Briefing Room 2910, Level 87, Sector FOG for a briefing by Lieutenant Larry-B-OMB. This order has been designated SUPER HIGH PRIORITY by Troubleshooter Dispatch.’
Numerous reports of riots among the Infrared citizens of Alpha Complex were discussed. This could only be treason - which was suspected to come from by whitehouse.gov working with the subversive Mystics and Romantics. In my investigation I discovered that there were approximately 10 trillion conspirators in this scheme, with the intent to undermine Friend Computer’s Fishy Stuff program. It was the goal of these consiprators to bring knowledge of clams and something called a ‘aircraft carrier’ to the Infrared citizens in Sector gulf of mexico. Employing my k-bar to subdue the leader of the conspiracy, I learned he suffered from enlarged heart, a problem remediated effectively by termination.
I will now report myself to the termination center in Sector URK for the crime of possessing unauthorized knowledge of clams.
Troubleshooter Zbigniew “the fist” Brzezinski’s -R-FBR Clone 6
This entire thread has me on the floor. LMAO....
humor break bookmark
A pox upon thee sir......
I was down at the Fulton Market the other day, jus goin bout the family business, yknowwhatimean? Anyways, I was doin my best to act all legit and all. So I’s down at bar by the dock, havin a Rum and Coke - Sal, he really makes a great Rum and Coke, by the way, youse should check it out - and Bobby walks in, just back from catch. Now Bobby ain't all right in the head, may be the drugs he takes for his sleep apnea - I mean, anyone who uses a dull butter knife to catch stewed oysters from a alien space ship gotta have a screw loose or somethin.
So Bobby gets drunk and starts yapping on about how Gray beings that are aliens been complaining that Health Care intiative will cost $3,309,777 and how we can't afford it and how it's all the government's fault. Well, you knows I don't really like what Bobby been sayin’, I would tell him fugeddaboudit, but I heard you wanted an ear out and I got some practice at that sort of thing, so I listen. Maybe youse ought to check on Bobby yourself a bit, or you might find some negatives in the the press, knowwhatI'msaying? It would be too bad if he had an accident with that dull butter knife on his next trip to Planet Zuko.
Ciao,
Rusty Shackleford
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