Dear Rahm Emmanuel,
Good day and compliments. This letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine the future and continued existence of the entire members of my family.
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr Servant of the One (M.O.N), the 3rd cousin of the late head of state and commander in chief of the armed forces of the federal republic of Nigeria who died in West Detroit on the 8th of June 1998.
My ordeal started immediately after my cousin's death by shoe, disguised as complications from enlarged angular brain tumor, on the morning of 8th June 1998, and the subsequent take over of government by the last administration. The present democratic government ruled by SEIU is determined to portray all the good work of my late cousin on the issue of Health Care in a bad light, accusing him of drinking Sherry and eating crayfish as would an infidel, and have gone as far as confiscating all my late cousin's assets, properties, even his sloop, freezing our accounts both within and outside Nigeria. As I am writing this letter to you, my son Mohammed Abacha is undergoing questioning with the government. All these measures taken by past/present government is just to gain international recognition.
I and the entire members of my family have been held incommunicado since the death of my cousin, hence I seek your indulgence to assist us in securing these funds. We are not allowed to see or discuss with anybody. Few occasions I have tired traveling abroad through alternative means all failed.
It is in view of this I have mandated DR GALADIMA HASSAN, who has been assisting the family to run around on so many issues to act on behalf of the family concerning the substance of this letter. He has the full power of attorney to execute this transaction with you.
My late cousin had/has USD $25 billion specially preserved and well packed in trunk boxes of which only my cousin and I knew about. It is packed in such a way to forestall just anybody having access to it. It is this sum that I seek your assistance to get out of Nigeria as soon as possible before the present civilian government finds out about it and confiscate it just like they have done to all our assets.
I implore you to please give consideration to my predicament and help a cousin in need.
May Allah show you mercy as you do so?
Your faithfully,
Dr Servant of the One (M.O.N)
N/B: Please contact Dr Galadima Hassan on this e-mail address for further briefing and modalities
Sound much more intelligent than the average 419 scam, not to mention most postings at Kos and DUmp!
My sons underwear draw, complete with socks that cannot possibly be clean, is extraordinarily smelly and I wish there were a way to capture scent and send it on...I would not hesitate to drop it into the wh mailbox with my compliments. There pathetic reach to shut down disagreement is kindergarten-esk. To blatant for words. Immature and creepy and it reminds me of the way I feel when uhbama makes a speech across the pond....totally embarrassed for our White House.