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Roaring sea tale takes worst writing honors
philly ^
| Jun. 29, 2009
Posted on 06/30/2009 6:49:55 AM PDT by JoeProBono
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To: JoeProBono
She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida the pink ones, not the white ones except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't," from Eric Rice of Sun Prairie, Wisc., winner in the detective category. ,
2
posted on
06/30/2009 6:55:04 AM PDT
by
La Lydia
To: La Lydia
I’ll never win because I like dots.....so long sentences look short....but I’ve never lost a thought....because it’s buried somewhere between the dots...and takes a little bit of deciphering....but you get the point.
To: La Lydia
LOL!
4
posted on
06/30/2009 6:59:59 AM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(A closed mouth gathers no feet)
To: La Lydia
Now that one is indeed deserving of honors!
5
posted on
06/30/2009 7:00:16 AM PDT
by
Verbosus
To: JoeProBono
It occurs to me that some members of FR should submit their musings, as posted here, to this contest.
6
posted on
06/30/2009 7:02:07 AM PDT
by
ArrogantBustard
(Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
To: ArrogantBustard
7
posted on
06/30/2009 7:05:27 AM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(A closed mouth gathers no feet)
To: JoeProBono
I’m convinced that if there is a prose category, some of Obama’s speeches could win. All his speeches seem to belike this: “The claim that, somehow, the requirements of national security are somehow inconsistent with our ideals is, in my view, a false dicotomy that reflects the worn out thinking of bygone eras”
8
posted on
06/30/2009 7:11:31 AM PDT
by
dinoparty
To: JoeProBono
9
posted on
06/30/2009 7:18:29 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
("If any of you die, can I please have your ammo?" ~ Gator113)
To: JoeProBono
Why don’t these awards go to news media “journalists”?
The worst writing I’ve ever seen comes from those “experts”!
To: ArrogantBustard
There she stood, in the doorway, wallowing in self pity like a hog often wallows in mud, while I sat on my new blue couch, unmoved, serene on the cushions with their reversible covers, when the thought came to me that if our positions were reversed, much like those cushions, I would be standing in the doorway while she sat on the couch.
parsy, who is still sleepy
11
posted on
06/30/2009 7:19:36 AM PDT
by
parsifal
("Knock and ye shall receive!" (The Bible, somewhere.))
To: JoeProBono
I bust a gut every year those come out.
and it reminded him of the time he'd covered his car's check engine light with black electrical tape, but a faint orange glow still shone around the edges.
And sometimes I fall of my chair.
12
posted on
06/30/2009 7:20:04 AM PDT
by
DManA
To: Sacajaweau
because its buried somewhere between the dots.
..and takes a little bit of deciphering01110011 01100001 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101001 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01110100 01110010 01110101 01100101 00101110 ![](http://th280.photobucket.com/albums/kk197/RetiredApachePilot/Smiley%20Faces/th_type.gif)
13
posted on
06/30/2009 7:29:52 AM PDT
by
skinkinthegrass
(Zer0Bambi to the poor voter: Welcome to 0bamacare (Peasant Care ®) You Sucker... Now Die! :^)
To: JoeProBono
Not that looks ever really matter but Rochelle LaTwinia Erb was quite possibly the second most beautiful woman in Bend Specificity— one of those splendid, whimsical, paradises found in old South Dakota within shouting distance and a half of that old stony visage mountain titled Rushmore—; however, the express reserve title of most beautiful woman in Bend Specificity was, without serious doubt, the cigar chomping former Master Sargeant of the 21st Infantry Regiment of the 31st Battalion of the 7th Army, Ms. Mac Beater, retired....
To: ArrogantBustard
As the King of Pop, defiantly shot his left, gold lame’d gloved hand into the air, and with his right hand grabbed his crotch and pulled downward with a sharp tug, naturally the pitch of his singing voice shot upward, and the thought came to him that these sudden jolts of pain he experienced could be alleviated with a good, potent shot of Demarol, so that he could have his cake and eat it, too.
parsy, who is nodding
15
posted on
06/30/2009 7:31:33 AM PDT
by
parsifal
("Knock and ye shall receive!" (The Bible, somewhere.))
To: parsifal
To: Daffynition
17
posted on
06/30/2009 7:37:39 AM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(A closed mouth gathers no feet)
To: JoeProBono
18
posted on
06/30/2009 7:37:50 AM PDT
by
Charles Martel
("Endeavor to persevere...")
To: JoeProBono
It's a shame that they named this contest after Bulwer-Lytton who was a pretty good writer.
He's still in print after over a hundred years, they made several movies based on his novels,
and he coined a number of very pithy aphorisms, such as:
The pen is mightier than the sword.
A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.
and
Government of the people, by the people, etc.
which Lincoln plagiarized.
Come to think of it
"It was a dark and stormy night" is a great opening line for a novel. It paints a picture and set the mood for what follows.
19
posted on
06/30/2009 7:39:12 AM PDT
by
Hiddigeigei
(quem deus vult perdere prius dementat)
To: JoeProBono
“Hot throbbing member” bump...
20
posted on
06/30/2009 7:40:01 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Impeach now!)
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