[JoeProBono]

[La Lydia]

She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida the pink ones, not the white ones except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't," from Eric Rice of Sun Prairie, Wisc., winner in the detective category. ,

[ArrogantBustard]

It occurs to me that some members of FR should submit their musings, as posted here, to this contest.

[dinoparty]

I’m convinced that if there is a prose category, some of Obama’s speeches could win. All his speeches seem to belike this: “The claim that, somehow, the requirements of national security are somehow inconsistent with our ideals is, in my view, a false dicotomy that reflects the worn out thinking of bygone eras”

[Daffynition]

HAHAHA! I posted this B4 you! HAHAHA!

[ROLF of the HILL COUNTRY]

Why don’t these awards go to news media “journalists”?

The worst writing I’ve ever seen comes from those “experts”!

[DManA]

I bust a gut every year those come out.

and it reminded him of the time he'd covered his car's check engine light with black electrical tape, but a faint orange glow still shone around the edges.

And sometimes I fall of my chair.

[freebilly]

Not that looks ever really matter but Rochelle LaTwinia Erb was quite possibly the second most beautiful woman in Bend Specificity— one of those splendid, whimsical, paradises found in old South Dakota within shouting distance and a half of that old stony visage mountain titled Rushmore—; however, the express reserve title of most beautiful woman in Bend Specificity was, without serious doubt, the cigar chomping former Master Sargeant of the 21st Infantry Regiment of the 31st Battalion of the 7th Army, Ms. Mac Beater, retired....

[Charles Martel]

[Hiddigeigei]

It's a shame that they named this contest after Bulwer-Lytton who was a pretty good writer.
He's still in print after over a hundred years, they made several movies based on his novels,
and he coined a number of very pithy aphorisms, such as:
“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
“A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.”
and
“Government of the people, by the people, etc.”
which Lincoln plagiarized.

Come to think of it
"It was a dark and stormy night" is a great opening line for a novel. It paints a picture and set the mood for what follows.

[irishtenor]

It was a dark and stormy night, because, well, it was night and that is usually dark, in fact, most of the time, unless you are in the Arctic in midsummer, it is dark at night, in which case dark is the operative word for the night; and as for stormy, yes the weather patterns over the city, predicted by weathermen who are not normally accurate, but in this case extremely so, indicated that this would be one of the stormiest nights on record, so in fact it WAS a dark and story night.

[SunkenCiv]

:’)

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2282317/posts

[Jeff Chandler]

Runner up?