Posted on 05/29/2009 7:47:10 AM PDT by yankeedame
Ah, but if you are situationally aware you DON'T do this.
You PAY attention to the people around you.Being situationally aware has kept me out of some tight spots.
I learned the technique, and it is a learned behaviour, from a Cheif Petty Officer in the US Navy while I was stationed in South East Asia.
The link source also reads “wired science”, as opposed to “weird science” as in the title of the thread.
Get on the elevator. Say hello everyone, my name is......
Then anounce that you were just diagnosed as an undifferentiated schizophrenic and you’ve lost your meds.
The other riders will leave you alone.
Here’s the correct link...
Op-Ed: Why the Elevator Floor Is So Interesting | Wired Science | Wired.com:
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/05/ftf-mastripieri/
“If there are two people in an elevator, and one of them farts - everybody knows who did it!” - George Carlin
I guess I’m an anomaly: I never look at the elevator floor.
Fun with elevators I have done.
When entering a crowded elevator instead of turning around to look at the door, stand with back against door and look at crowd.
Stand in back corner, moan, bang head against the wall saying “must stop the music”. Crowded elevator gets empty fast.
Get on elevator and stand and stare at the back wall like it’s a door. The less people on the elevator the more chance of the other person also staring at the back wall. Works even better if other people are in on it and back wallers outnumber front doorers.
When on a long trip going up jump when the elevator stops at the top. When going down lift arms in the air like on a roller coaster. Shout WHHEEEEEE! in both directions.
Sniff the air and step away from everyone else. Even if there is no offending scents. People will tend to make up an offending scent even if one doesn’t exist.
And a real salesman will make the other person believe he did it.
>> We ignore the people around us and pretend they don’t exist ...
>> Ah, but if you are situationally aware you DON’T do this.
Good post. I can’t believe the number of young (mostly female) dingbats walking around texting or with Ipods in their ears in places where I’m nervous. For a good read on this subject, start by Googling up: “Color codes of mental awareness”.
The fact is, if there’s a mirrored ceiling, it’s sometimes possible to look down into some cleavage. Or check my own bald spot.
The best time to do that is when you are in a lobby waiting for an elevator and find that the cab is already full.
I tend to cough loudly then say “I probably should go back to the TB clinic soon.”
I prefer to let my flatulence do the talking.
Because nobody wants to take credit for that weapons-grade flatulence attack.
Yes, my Navy Cheif didn’t put it in quite those terms but it was essentially the same message.
Not so. I tried that once and she got really upset.
If I’m on an elevator with men, I try to insult the local sports team as loudly as I can. If my company on the vertical bus is female, I grope them. If mixed company, I grope the women and blame it on one of the other men.
I’ll bet this guy’s eggs try to jump off the plate every morning.
“One morning when I was living on the 20th floor of a high-rise building I rode the elevator with a middle-aged man who seemed to be particularly intimidated by my presence.
As I stepped in, he smiled nervously and started talking immediately. He talked nonstop and managed to give me his entire medical history, complete with symptoms, diagnoses and treatments, before we reached the ground floor. I doubt that this man expected to receive medical advice from me. Rather, he was clearly an insecure and emotionally vulnerable person who used massive verbal grooming to appease a perceived potential aggressor in a risky situation.”
The female Homo Sapien is also known to do this to the male of the species, often times at the onset of a divorce but also within the marriage itself, albeit in a symbolic way.
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