| You Are Fast Forward |
 You are action oriented and love adventure. You don't care much for downtime. You like the skip the boring stuff and get to the good stuff. You don't like interruptions. You can't stand anything slow. You live your life in fast lane and expect others to do the same. |
Whoo-hoo!
In!
Happy friday!
Thanks for doing this! I’d hate to go through a Friday without this thread...
| You Are Record |
 You pay very close attention to what's going on around you. You see events from many perspectives, and you tend to be a detached observer. Whenever something is going on, you're all eyes and ears! |
HILLBILLY BIRTH
Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County , a hillbilly’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!’
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. ‘Whoa there’, said the doctor, ‘Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think there’s another one coming.’
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. ‘Hold that lantern up, don’t set it down there’s another one!’ Said the doctor.
Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby ‘No, don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there’s yet another one coming!’ cried the doctor.
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, . . .. . .
‘You reckon it might be the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?’
Good morning!
I made it early and will look through e-mails for something to contribute.
Dear Pres. (deleted ),
Thank you for helping my neighbors with their mortgage payments. You
know the one’s down the street who in the good times
purchased their house for no money down, refinanced it
several times, then bought SUV’s, ATV’s, RV’s, a pool,
a big screen plasma TV, two Wave Runners, a boat, and a Harley.
I was wondering, since I am paying my mortgage and theirs,
could you arrange for me to borrow the Harley now and then?
Signed:
“Concerned in CA”
P. S. They also need help with their credit cards,
when do you want me to start making those payments?
P. P. S. I almost forgot - they didn’t file their income tax return this year.
Should I go ahead and file for them or will you be appointing them to cabinet posts?
The liquor was spilled on the bar room floor
and the bar was closed for the night,
When out of his hole crept a little gray mouse
and he sat in the pale moon light;
He lapped up the liquor from the bar room floor
and back on his haunches he sat,
And all night long you could hear him roar...
BRING ON THE DOGGONE CAT!
Gosh dang... Is it Friday already?
I am SO in!
Happy Friday one and all.
People in Washington, D.C. are way too sensitive. Yesterday the gardener at the White House got fired. All he did was go out to the tool shed and open it. He looked in and said “Has anyone seen the spade and the hoe?”
Happy Friday. Hope your family gets well soon and you don’t come down with it.
This had me chuckling for 2 days. Couldn’t wait for Friday:)
How do you know you’re shopping in Texas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt7FDTpzGvo
Years from now Obama and Bush die of old age only a second apart.
They arrive at the Pearly Gates. Obama died only one second before W so he is ahead in line.
St. Peter says to Obama, “Here are your robes of silk and your staff of gold. Welcome to Heaven”.
W steps up next. St. Peter says to Bush, “Here are your robes of cotton and your staff of wood. Welcome to Heaven”.
George asks, “St. Peter, he gets silk and gold? And I get cotton and wood?”
St. Peter says, “George, while you were President, the people peacefully slept. While Obama was President the people constantly prayed. The Lord rewards results.”
