Posted on 03/17/2009 11:39:26 AM PDT by llevrok
Father Ryan has just given one of his best sermons ever. It's a beautiful Irish Spring day, with the sun out and birds singing. After the Mass, Father is on the steps of the church, enjoying God's Spring wealth, when he hears an argument coming from the shrubbery to the side of the church.
As he goes around side, he see two leprechauns fighting it out:
L1: "T'was! (shouts the first) L2: T'was NOT!!! (replies the other) L1: T'was SO! L2: T'was NOT!!!!
Back and forth they go with a punch or two being thrown.
Not wanting to have this beautiful Sunday spoiled, Father breaks up the two.
Father: Boys! Boys! What's all the kafuffle on this most glorious of God's days???? L1: Father? Is there such a thing as a leprechaun nun? Father: Well, lads, I am sorry to say there t'isn't. Is that what you two have been fighting about? L1: Yes, Father. Seen Michael? I told you that you were makin' love to a penguin!!! L2: T'was NOT L1" T'was so!!!!
And on they go......
Works for me.
Three Irishmen are bragging about the best pubs they know.
Paddy says he knows that if you go to Hannedy’s and buy one pint, then another, then buy the barkeep one, he’ll buy the next one, and so on.
McMurphy says he knows of Finnegan’s where you buy the first drink and one for the barkeep, he buys the next and then repeats all evening.
Obryan says that’s nothing. He knows of a bar where the barkeep buys the first drink, then the next, then even another pint, then takes you in the back and gets you laid.
McMurphy and Paddy relent and agree that that’s the best pub they ever heard of... and ask where it is.
Obryan says he’s not so sure, but his sister goes there all the time.
.
In an MG-TD
Drove all the snakes to the DNC
[Drove all the snakes to the DNC]
Many more than one, so true.
[Spring is in my heart! ]
That’s lovely Daffy! Like you, I can’t keep dwelling on politics. Hard to avoid but I need some ‘happy thoughts’ each day too.
I heard a song called "God Loves the Irish" by D.C. Anderson
Awesome song. somewhere in the lyrics it has "...you can't be Irish if you're gay"
Heard it on the radio this morning.
Two Irishmen are in a lifeboat far at sea. One of them finds a magic lamp. He rubs it, and out pops a genie, ready to grant them one wish.
One of them shouts, "Faith, and I wish the ocean were made of Guinness!" There's a bolt of lightning and a crack of thunder and they're floating in a beer ocean, and the genie disappears.
The other Irishman looks at the first and says, "Sweet Jaysus, you fool! Now we have to pee in the boat!"
.
.
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Wait for it........
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.
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Because the grass tickles his n*ts.
Dear Michael,
Your father and I are getting concerned. Being as we are getting up in years, it's harder for us to dig up the garden to plant the potatoes for the upcoming spring planting. What do we do?
Love,
Your darling mother
Michael writes back to his mom...
Dear Mum,
I am so sorry to hear you and father are ailing, but please don't dig up the garden. The boys and I have buried guns there for the great rebellion when we come home.
Love,
Michael
A few weeks later Michael gets a frantic letter from his dear old mother:
Michael!
The British came and dug up the entire garden looking for the guns. They couldn't find them! What do we do?
Michael writes back:
Dear Mum,
Plant the potatoes.
Love,
Michael
"Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?"
"I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...Damn! There goes another one!"
Are you kidding? He’s getting records of his ancestor baptism. What a bunch of crock!
Cute St. Patrick’s Day gif!
Jiggity jig jig.
Thank you nit. Holiday posts get few replies so appreciate yours.
[Bless you!]
And you too Seadog!
How few reply to a Holiday post ping, it’s disheartening.
Going to bed now.
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