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Toothy raccoon bit off [CENSORED]
The Sun [UK] ^ | 26 Jan 2009 | STAFF REPORTER

Posted on 01/27/2009 9:40:22 AM PST by Slings and Arrows

Go to the link. Just go.

(Excerpt) Read more at thesun.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Pets/Animals; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: drunkrussian; drunkrussians; mangledgenitals; napl; nomeansno; raccoon; rape; russia; russian
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To: Slings and Arrows
Here's a guy who looked at a raccoon's [censored] and said, "I gotta have me a piece of that!"

I reckon the coon returned the sentiment.
21 posted on 01/27/2009 10:43:20 AM PST by Titan Magroyne ("Drill now drill hard drill often and give old Gaia a cigarette afterwards she deserves it." HerrBlu)
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To: Titan Magroyne

Instant karma, raccoon-style.


22 posted on 01/27/2009 10:48:36 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (This fiasco brought to you by the failed Obama administration.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

So did he mistake a raccoon for a beaver?


23 posted on 01/27/2009 10:48:42 AM PST by CanadianBacon
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To: CanadianBacon
So did he mistake a raccoon for a beaver?

Cue music!

24 posted on 01/27/2009 10:58:33 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (This fiasco brought to you by the failed Obama administration.)
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Comment #25 Removed by Moderator

To: Slings and Arrows

Good job Stoat. I wonder where they administered the rabies shots?


26 posted on 01/27/2009 11:48:42 AM PST by mickey finn
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To: Morgana
Filthy disease ridden (CENSORED) queer ping.

Don't rush to judgment. It might have been a female raccoon.

27 posted on 01/27/2009 11:48:43 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (This fiasco brought to you by the failed Obama administration.)
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To: Travis T. OJustice
I don’t think he’ll ever try to rape another raccoon as long as he lives.

Nope, he's lost "his membership" in the animal sex club.

28 posted on 01/27/2009 12:37:37 PM PST by pa_dweller (Absurdity is everywhere, you've just become inured to it.)
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To: mickey finn; Slings and Arrows
 

Thanks to Stoat for finding this highly significant article!

Good job Stoat. I wonder where they administered the rabies shots?

You're all quite welcome, and I'm delighted to have played a very small role in getting this essential news item out to the FR readership.  I hesitated with posting it due to my aversion to being banned by 'certain people' around here who are not noted for humor,  swing a big axe with occasional inaccuracy and have zero interest in politely discussing such matters, but I'm delighted that Slings and Arrows has stepped up to the task and has (so far) escaped such an unpleasant fate.  Let's hope this trend continues  :-)

As to the rabies shots, my understanding is that they are always administered in the abdomen regardless of the injury site, and they are legendary for being quite painful due to the large-bore and long needles involved.  He's actually quite lucky that he didn't bleed to death, as that's not such an uncommon fate involving extreme  traumatic  injuries to that area.

If the victim is / was married or has / had a gal-friend, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall (or a stoat under the bed) when it came time for him to explain what happened to her.  "Ummm, honey?  I got drunk this last weekend and you'll never believe the amazing thing that happened.  You see, I tried to rape this cute-looking raccoon and......"

29 posted on 01/27/2009 1:17:53 PM PST by Stoat (Palin / Coulter 2012: A Strong America Through Unapologetic Conservatism)
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To: Morgana
hope the coon didn't get sick...
30 posted on 01/27/2009 2:53:48 PM PST by Chode (American Hedonist -)
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To: martin_fierro

Ow.


31 posted on 01/27/2009 4:28:05 PM PST by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/____________________ Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Iowan; Fred Nerks; Calpernia

Iowan, Calpernia and Fred Nerks, here’s a funny thread; click on the link. I finally found the courage to click on it. People can be so stupid.


32 posted on 01/27/2009 8:28:54 PM PST by LucyT
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick; TigersEye

I wonder what a skunk encounter would have resulted in?


33 posted on 01/27/2009 8:31:33 PM PST by pandoraou812 (Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn! ...........^............)
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To: LucyT

he’s lucky I’m not the surgeon, I would remove whatever he had left.


34 posted on 01/27/2009 8:38:14 PM PST by Fred Nerks (fair dinkum!)
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To: LucyT

Thanks, LucyT

What a nut!

He must have been drunk as a skunk....er...raccoon...


35 posted on 01/27/2009 9:02:31 PM PST by Iowan
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To: Slings and Arrows; Fiddlstix; y'all

ha!

That’ll teach him! :)


36 posted on 01/27/2009 10:44:22 PM PST by MeekOneGOP (Obama, WHO is Bill Ayers and WHY are you still friends with him? Please RSVP asap!)
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To: martin_fierro
Thanks for the ping. This and the Synagro story have put a smile on my face today.


37 posted on 01/28/2009 7:41:57 AM PST by Dutchgirl ("Every Socialist is a disguised dictator." Ludwig Von Mises)
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