What The Hell Is That?
Tourist #1.....Steve Martin
Tourist #2.....Bill Murray
[ Tourist #1 wanders onto set, looks straight into camera inquisitively with a dumb look on his face ]
Tourist #1: What the hell is that?!
[ squints ] What the hell is that?
[ chuckling at himself ] What's that danged thing doing here! How did that get here? What the hell is that?!
[ squints ] What the hell is that?! How'd that dang deal get here?!
[ turns off-camera ] Hey! Come on over here and look at this deal!
[ Tourist #2 wanders onto the set to take a bewildered look ]
Tourist #2: What the hell is that?
Tourist #1: I don't know what the hell that is!
Tourist #2: What in the hell is that?!
Tourist #1: Hey, you kids! Get away from there!
Tourist #2: I would not mess with that thing..
Tourist #1: Don't put your lips on it!
Tourist #2: [ ever curious ] What the hell is this?
Tourist #1: Well.. get a photo of me with it, anyway!
[ Tourist #1 hands camera to Tourist #2, then walks away from camera view to have his picture taken ]
Tourist #2: Be careful with that thing.
[ snaps Tourist #1's picture, as spark of ingenuity develops on his face ]
Oh, I know what that is!
Tourist #1: [ returns next to Tourist #2 ] Well, what the hell is it?!
Tourist #2: [ looks closer ] What is that thing..?
Tourist #1: I don't even care what it is. [ pause ] What the hell is that?!
Tourist #2: I don't know what the hell that thing is.
Tourist #1: Oh, I know what it is!
Tourist #2: [ seeing it ] Oh, yeah.. oh yeah.. [ chuckles ]
[ Tourist #1 & #2 walk away from the stage. A beat, before their heads peer back into frame, more inquisitive than ever. ]
Tourist #1: What the hell was that?!
[ fade ]
