Vanity: Most Annoying Christmas Songs

The Radio | 12/17/2008 | VRWCmember

[VRWCmember]

For several weeks now a few local radio stations have been playing Christmas music non-stop, and I love hearing the songs celebrating the season -- especially the traditional carols.

How can you help but feel better when you hear Nat King Cole's smooth voice singing "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." (The Christmas Song) or Bing Crosby wishing you a White Christmas with every Christmas card he writes. And when Mark Lowry asks Mary if she knew that her baby boy would one day walk on water, it gives me chills. My drive home from work from late November to late December is so much more peaceful and enjoyable as I hear so many cheerful and encouraging songs celebrating the nativity.

There are, however, a few annoying songs that seem to get a lot of play this time of year that prompt me to change the station as soon as they begin. Just the first few notes, before the lyrics even kick in, make me want to hurl, or lash out at the stupidity of the idiot that put the disc in the player.

So as a diversion from the more important issues of the day, please post the titles/artists of the songs of the season that induce the urge to vomit or cause you to change the station when you hear them.

Here are my top most annoying Christmas songs ever: 1. So This Is Christmas (War is over?) by John Lennon 2. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney 3. Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart by Wham/George Michael 4. Santa Baby by Madonna

[weegee]

http://www.wingmusic.co.nz/cd6.html

Wing has gone from singing AC/DC covers to singing carols...

CD 6: Everyone Sings Carols With Wing.

1. Santa is coming to town
2. Joy to the world
3. When you believe
4. Jingle Bells
5. It came upon the midnight clear
6. Vision of love
7. Jo si na mu (Korean version)
8. Sheung shai tan (Chinese version)
9. Now is the hour (Maori versoin)
10. Omio ba-bino caro (Italian version)

You can here samples here:

http://cdbaby.com/cd/wingsounds7

Call people around and TRY to sing along with Wing...

[Liberty Valance]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw1pJwqGA8g
Buck Owens - Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy

[NeoCaveman]

In winter it's a marshmallow world.

How dare you.

LOL

[Jaded]

Grandma got run over by a Reindeer.

I positively loathe that song.

[dfwgator]

You must have by now heard the duets version of “Blue Christmas” by Elvis and Martina McBride.

I hate musical necrophilia. It was weird with Nat and Natalie Cole, and it's weird here.

[Responsibility2nd]

Walking Around In Women’s Underwear

“Lacey things, the wife is missing.
Didn’t ask, for her permission
I’m wearing her clothes,
her silk panty hose.
Walking around in women’s underwear.

In the store, there’s a teddy.
With little straps, like spagetti.
It holds me so tight,
like handcuffs at night.
Walking around in womens underwear

In the office there’s a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He’ll say “Are you ready?”
I’ll say, “Woah man! Lets wait untill the wife is out of town.”
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna.
Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.
Walking around in women’s underwear.

Lacey things, missing.
Didn’t ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, silk panty hose.
Walking around in women’s underwear.
Walking around in women’s underwear.
Walking around in women’s underwear......”

[prismsinc]

“Do they know it's Christmas Time at All” by all the silly bands of the early 1990s

A PC crap of a song that also has so many factual errors in that I have to laugh. No snow at Christmas in Africa??? - hello - THEY ARE IN THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE or on the equator!

The worst Christmas song. Ever.

[prismsinc]

For all you Christmas song haters:

Okay... This is a song that uhh.. There�s a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. Not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh.. I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don�t get to hear any Chanukah songs. Here we go... Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree Here�s a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me David Lee roth Lights the menorah So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli Paul Newman�s half Jewish, Goldie Hawn�s half too Put them together, what a fine lookin� Jew You don�t need deck the halls or jingle bell rock �cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock- both jewish Put on your yarmulke It�s time for Chanukah The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs Celebrates Chanukah O.J. Simpson, not a Jew But guess who is? hall of famer Rod Carew -- he converted We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby Harrison Ford�s a quarter Jewish- not too shabby Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is Well he�s not, but guess who is All Three Stooges So many Jews are in showbiz Tom Cruise isn�t, but I heard his agent is Tell your friend Veronica It�s time to celebrate Chanukah I hope I get a harmonicah Oh this lovely, lovely Chanukah So drink your gin and tonicah And smoke your marijuanikah If you really, really wannakah Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah Happy Chanukah

[sig226]

You have truly led a charmed life if you never had to listen to Dominic The Donkey.

[sig226]

Let’s see, what are the genuine buckets of vomit:

The Little Drummer Boy - I know that Mary was a saint, but can you not imagine a new mother grabbing a two by four and smashing some stupid kid who’s banging a drum while her and her newborn child are trying to get some rest?

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Christmas Rapping - make it stop.

Dominic The Donkey

Santa Baby

So This Is Christmas

[kaylar]

I've never heard the donkey song or the hippo song. I just now googled the lyrics to both, and they certainly *read* stupid.

As for some other songs that seem to be widely loathed, I actually like Carol of the Bells, and I've only heard Marshmallow World once , but liked it. (No idea whose version except it wasn't Sinatra's or Dean Martin's-their "music" makes me want to stick ice picks in both ears.)

[weegee]

Personally I’m surprised that someone hasn’t done a barking dogs version of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer or So This Is Christmas...

[weegee]

it wasn't Sinatra's or Dean Martin's-their "music" makes me want to stick ice picks in both ears

Why so rash? Stick a toothpick in an olive instead and make a martini...

[Revolting cat!]

Why are there five guys in that quartet?

I dunno, mebbe they borrowed one from Dave Brubeck's Quartet which is only three guys!

[kaylar]

I just LOATHE the sounds of their voices-period. I cannot be in a room where their “music” is playing...Fortunately, that rarely happens these days...

[Rightly Biased]

Yeah Lowry does it best.

[RobRoy]

I worked in the stereo department at Jafco back in the 1970’s. During the entire Christmas season we played Elvis Christmas 8-track over the store PA.

On Christmas eve, after the store closed. The Manager went to the mezzanine level offices, pulled out the tape, walked to the mezzanine edge and heaved that tape all the way to the Jewelry department at the other end of the store.

I learned to hate “Blue Christmas”.

[RobRoy]

>>I absolutely despise “Grandma got run over by a Reindeer.”<<

Hey, just back off the classics, man!

[RobRoy]

>>The dogs barking “Jingle Bells,” hands down. And this is coming from a dog lover.<<

Yep. At the very top of my list.

[RobRoy]

How about that song in Sleepless in Seattle where Meg sings along with the radio, “harses, harses, harses”.