Scientists Discover New Heavy Element

disaboom.com ^ | 2008-11-25 | Unknown

[QenBirQeni]

The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.z

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[QenBirQeni]

LMAO -- How appropriate for what's to come under Obama!

[JoeProBono]

Live long and....:-}

[JoeProBono]

[randomhero97]

Lol.

[stripes1776]

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.z

That is the best laugh I have had in weeks. Thanks for posting it.

[max americana]

> These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,

Bingo!

[Rembrandt]

“Governmentium”

Is that the heavy metal which has a covalent bond with Donkeysrectumium?

[Intolerant in NJ]

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312...Excellent!!!....

[Bhoy]

Priceless!

[skinkinthegrass]

*snicker*

[knarf]

An oldie but goodie.

[Captain Beyond]

LOL bump

[Ciexyz]

kewl!

[re_tail20]

IF we split the Governmentium atom, the power and energy unleashed would be enough to destroy the Earth

[Secret Agent Man]

I thought Governmentium was 535 elements, ALL of them morons...

[eggman]

Governmentium may not be totally inert as it eventually destroys intelligent life forms. The moronic forces generated by governmentium arrange thousands of pages of regulations. Many of these regulations seem to defy the known laws of physics by throwing off vast quantities peons carrying taxpayer money generating votes from what appears to be a vacuum but is actually made of of very lightweight and impotent new particles called liberals.

The liberals are believed to rally around governmentium adding no mass but increasing the moronic forces. The moronic forces are powerful enough to destroy the brain cells of anyone exposed for too long to governmentium. This theory explains why even former conservatives who have been in office for too long begin to support government expansion.

[QenBirQeni]

My pleasure.

[jongaltsr]

Bravo !

Especially since I just finished reading "Atlas Shrugged". Seems appropriate.

[skinkinthegrass]

LOL!....What effect, (if any) does Conservationism....on the aforementioned Element?

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

ROFL!