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The 10 Most Devastating Insults [Actually Comebacks] of All Time
Cracked.com ^ | 12/1/08 | Michael Swaim

Posted on 12/01/2008 11:32:48 PM PST by Slings and Arrows

The French call it “l’esprit d’escalier,” or “staircase ghost.”

To the rest of us, it is known simply as the comeback, that divine and tender coincidence of all the universe’s comedic forces at the perfect moment. A truly good comeback can instantly turn tables, elevate the terminally zinged to the status of champion, and reduce the zinger to a stuttering fool.

Sadly, many of us will go our entire lives without scoring a decent comeback, doomed to pause awkwardly and mutter some pathetic variation of “your face” for the rest of our miserable lives. For us, it must be enough simply to marvel at the comebacks of the better equipped, and possibly memorize them for later personal use.

(Excerpt) Read more at cracked.com ...


TOPICS: History; Humor
KEYWORDS:
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Comment #41 Removed by Moderator

To: Sharrukin

That’s awesome


42 posted on 12/02/2008 6:07:06 AM PST by Skooz (Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Had a hard time reading that page.

All I could see was that blonde in the leopard thong.


43 posted on 12/02/2008 6:19:09 AM PST by earlJam
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To: earlJam

I feel your pain.


44 posted on 12/02/2008 6:24:26 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (We are SO screwed.)
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To: Lancey Howard

LOL. Good reminder. That worked out real well for Costanza, didn’t it?
;)


45 posted on 12/02/2008 6:26:41 AM PST by Sparko
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To: Sharrukin
Bimbo date, chatting endlessly about nothing, noting her date seems bored....says sarcastically, "I hope I'm not keeping you up."

Date, who happens to be wit Oscar Levant, says "I wish you were."

46 posted on 12/02/2008 6:40:00 AM PST by Lizavetta
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To: Slings and Arrows
Tom Delay to French diplomat: "Do you speak German?"

French Diplomat: "No."

Tom Delay: "You're welcome."

47 posted on 12/02/2008 6:45:06 AM PST by Dilbert56 (Harry Reid, D-Nev.: "We're going to pick up Senate seats as a result of this war.")
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To: Slings and Arrows
"I can explain it to you, but I cannot comprehend it for you."

NYC Mayor Ed Koch

48 posted on 12/02/2008 7:24:18 AM PST by Psalm 73 ("Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is the War Room".)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Most of those are incorrectly attributed and/or quoted. Could have been a good article, but the author was too busy saying “Look at me!”...which, considering the source, is probably no surprise. ;)


49 posted on 12/02/2008 7:32:30 AM PST by Mr. Jeeves ("One man's 'magic' is another man's engineering. 'Supernatural' is a null word." -- Robert Heinlein)
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To: orlop9
I still have the Ultimate Flame in text format.

I can give it to you if you would like. ;^)

50 posted on 12/02/2008 7:38:14 AM PST by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: Gay State Conservative

That reminds me of Penn State’s’ JoePa incident a couple of years ago. At the scene of a car accident he got in a heated exchange with the driver of the other vehicle. The passenger said thats my wife you are talking to. Paterno reportdely said “That’s your problem.”


51 posted on 12/02/2008 7:44:37 AM PST by Augustinian monk ("Can't we try bombing them with kindness?")
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To: Slings and Arrows

While this is cute enough and we’ve all heard or read them at various times, reading Swain’s take on this and his loose misuse of the record, my take is that he proves that yesterday remains unmatched today.

It’s like watching monkeys make a milkshake.


52 posted on 12/02/2008 8:14:36 AM PST by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, then writes again.)
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To: dr_lew

But how else could a materialist imagine it?


53 posted on 12/02/2008 8:16:03 AM PST by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, then writes again.)
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To: Enchante

Kind of a down the up staircase moment, eh?


54 posted on 12/02/2008 8:18:57 AM PST by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, then writes again.)
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To: JoeSixPack1

And after a thoughtful pause, the object of his scorn replied, “I see you’ve been talking to all my friends.”


55 posted on 12/02/2008 8:26:55 AM PST by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, then writes again.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
WARNING: Contains strong language (ok), blasphemy (ok), confusion of James Garfield with Grover Cleveland (EGAD!).
56 posted on 12/02/2008 8:43:48 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Old Professer

Monkeys are funny.


57 posted on 12/02/2008 8:54:32 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (We are SO screwed.)
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To: martin_fierro

Steady on, old man. Steady on.


58 posted on 12/02/2008 8:55:12 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (We are SO screwed.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Pee-wee: I wouldn’t sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!
Francis: Then you’re crazy!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Francis: You’re a nerd!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Francis: You’re an idiot!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Pee-Wee & Francis: I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I?
Pee-wee: Infinity!
Francis: No, I’m not.
Francis & Pee-Wee: You are! No way! Knock it off! Cut it out!
Francis: Shut up, Pee-wee!
Pee-wee: Why don’t you make me.
Francis: You make me!
Pee-wee: Because. I don’t make monkeys, I just train ‘em.


59 posted on 12/02/2008 9:01:21 AM PST by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: JoeSixPack1

Brilliant!! Saved, right next to my file on Obama’s economic plan. Thank you.

I will make good use of this in the coming months and years.


60 posted on 12/02/2008 10:19:40 AM PST by dashing doofus (Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber)
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