(gotta be careful with the 'gay pirate' image search I'm tellin ya)
Posted on 11/18/2008 10:38:26 PM PST by Mike Darancette
VENTURE capitalists in New York and London are pumping millions of dollars into Somalia's booming pirate sector.
The sharp-eyed investors say Indian Ocean piracy has replaced Bangladeshi t-shirt factories as the developing world's strongest source of high-growth revenue streams.
Julian Cook, head of strategy at Porter, Pinkney and Turner (PPT), said: "The margins are very impressive. These guys can board a Chinese freighter or Saudi oil tanker and turn it around in less than a week. Usually without killing anyone.
"The staff are well-trained and they operate a structured bonus system involving the daughters of nomadic tribal chiefs and as much hallucinogenic tree bark as they can eat.
"The tax position is also very favourable given that Somalia isn't really what you would describe as a 'country' with 'laws' and a 'government'."
PPT has paid £25.7 million for a 32% stake in Captain Ahmed's Crazee Bastards with the initial tranche used for capital purchases including new speed boats, 200 yards of very strong rope and a gun the size of a cow.
The investment will also be used to establish an out-sourced personnel department to ensure the quick replacement of any colleagues shot by the Royal Navy during working hours.
Captain Ahmed will retain day-to-day management control and has also negotiated a clause allowing him to go 'ape-shit crazee' and shoot everyone on board up to three times a year.
Post of the week!
I want to get job that comes with a name tag that reads “PIRATE HUNTER” or maybe “DAVY JONES DOORMAN”
Are the ships crew union, though?
Captain barney Franks, and the rest of the crew of the Flamin Fannie May have been slicing their way through my life savings... I might as well invest in pirates working the other side of the world as well.
Hedgin’ on the High Seas! Wheeee!
I'm selling Woobies & Placemats short! ;)
Biting satire along the lines of Swift
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