Posted on 10/24/2008 6:19:27 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
ToothbrushesDentists and orthodontists should not be allowed to celebrate Halloween if they're going to get all tooth doctory on us. Do not bring your work home with you, folks! We all have a personal responsibility to brush, and maybe some of us will forget, but your complimentary bristles on a stick (instead of a Snickers) will not help us remember. It will make us despise you and your trade. |
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RaisinsLittle boxes of stuck-together shriveled globs are not what little kids schlep around the neighborhood for all night. When they say trick-or-treat, they want candy that will rot their teeth, not wrinkled grapes. (Using an empty box as a kazoo-like instrument, though, is kinda fun.) |
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Candy CornThe most polarizing candy of all. The fruitcake of Halloween; it just never goes away. If you love them, fine. But don't subject the rest of us haters to the sickeningly sweet triangle that tastes like neither candy nor corn. |
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Smarties and Necco WafersThese chalky candies are supposedly "fruit-flavored," but no fruit I know tastes like dust -- and makes everything eaten after taste like dust, too. |
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Dum Dum LollipopsUsually, foods on a stick are yummy (corn dogs, ice pops), but Dum Dums just can't be included on that list. Not even if they were breaded and deep-fried and served at a fair. |
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ApplesLong before "poisoned candy" scares, evil people were handing out apples instead of candy on Halloween. This disappointing "treat" is the main reason to avoid unwrapped food while trick-or-treating. |
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Tootsie RollsIt looks like chocolate and sort of smells like chocolate, but the mini brown tubes are not real chocolate. They taste like watered-down chocolate, and have a chewy texture that will strip the fillings right off your molars. |
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Miscellaneous, Wrapped Hard CandiesHalloween is supposed to be a holiday for young people, not senior citizens who suck on hard candies all day. Something about the strawberry-shaped strawberries, gold-wrapped butterscotch, and peppermint feels past the expiration date. (These usually get set aside for Granny.) |
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Laffy TaffyI do not laffy when I get these. I sobby. I get depressedy. Because it gets all stucky to my teethy and doesn't even taste that goody. |
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Anything Fun-SizedWho started calling it this? Since when is one bite fun?! Give us the rich houses with the sprawling driveways and full-sized candy bars any day. Portion control doesn't need to start this young. |
Remember these?
Hey! I just learned about paragraph breaks!!!!
I disagree - I always liked hard candies. But, the worst thing ever has to be religious pamphlets, cause either you already adhere to that religion and have no use for them, or you don’t and you aren’t interested. However, I don’t mind as long as they’re given out along with candy, not instead of them. The best thing was senior year, some friends and I were out, and the guy ran out of candy so he gave us handfuls of spare change, and not just pennies, but everything. Oh, I love rich neighborhoods...
As a side note, my mom gave out those fun-sized bags of doritos and cheese puffs and stuff for a few years, and the kids LOVED them. Now, we moved, and we get a few hundred trick-or-treaters at our house every year, so we just buy the cheapest candy we can find, but since the houses are all either very close together or give out full-sized candy and bubbles and other fun loot, nobody feels slighted.
Mornin’ Lucky9teen.
thanks for the ping to today’s dose of sanity! :)
I’ve been looking for tomkow6 for over a month now. Haven’t seen hide nor hair of him, have you?
Not since Sep 19.
Wonder what happened?
Hey TK, haven’t seen you since Sep 19, where are you hiding?
*grumbling*
..I know you’re sneaking ‘round back behind me somewheres, arencha?
When we were kids in Glendale, CA, we'd always try to get across town to Casey Stengel's house.....he gave silver dollars!
How do you get those out of carpet? One that was found behind a headboard and left (kids) for a couple of years?
"Trick Or Treat"
"Instead of candy can we just have your name seventy three time?"
why?
Why?
WHY?
You’ve gotta see this.
Halloween: the suckiest holiday. :-)
We’ve got our costumes, our pumpkin and our candy. Somebody wake me when it’s over.
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