****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

[Lucky9teen]

The 10 Most Disappointing Treats for Trick-or-Treaters
On Halloween night, some houses struggle with the idea of candy. There are good houses, and there are bad houses. The best trick-or-treaters know to avoid the latter. At the food site Serious Eats, we all love Halloween, but wish certain homes would just stop handing out the classically bad "treats." They weren't good last year, the year before that, or now. Our own Erin Zimmer put together this list of our top 10 Halloween treats that nobody wants...

	Toothbrushes Dentists and orthodontists should not be allowed to celebrate Halloween if they're going to get all tooth doctory on us. Do not bring your work home with you, folks! We all have a personal responsibility to brush, and maybe some of us will forget, but your complimentary bristles on a stick (instead of a Snickers) will not help us remember. It will make us despise you and your trade.
Raisins Little boxes of stuck-together shriveled globs are not what little kids schlep around the neighborhood for all night. When they say trick-or-treat, they want candy that will rot their teeth, not wrinkled grapes.  (Using an empty box as a kazoo-like instrument, though, is kinda fun.)
	Candy Corn The most polarizing candy of all. The fruitcake of Halloween; it just never goes away. If you love them, fine. But don't subject the rest of us haters to the sickeningly sweet triangle that tastes like neither candy nor corn.
Smarties and Necco Wafers These chalky candies are supposedly "fruit-flavored," but no fruit I know tastes like dust -- and makes everything eaten after taste like dust, too.
	Dum Dum Lollipops Usually, foods on a stick are yummy (corn dogs, ice pops), but Dum Dums just can't be included on that list. Not even if they were breaded and deep-fried and served at a fair.
Apples Long before "poisoned candy" scares, evil people were handing out apples instead of candy on Halloween. This disappointing "treat" is the main reason to avoid unwrapped food while trick-or-treating.
	Tootsie Rolls It looks like chocolate and sort of smells like chocolate, but the mini brown tubes are not real chocolate. They taste like watered-down chocolate, and have a chewy texture that will strip the fillings right off your molars.
Miscellaneous, Wrapped Hard Candies Halloween is supposed to be a holiday for young people, not senior citizens who suck on hard candies all day. Something about the strawberry-shaped strawberries, gold-wrapped butterscotch, and peppermint feels past the expiration date. (These usually get set aside for Granny.)
	Laffy Taffy I do not laffy when I get these. I sobby. I get depressedy. Because it gets all stucky to my teethy and doesn't even taste that goody.
Anything Fun-Sized Who started calling it this? Since when is one bite fun?! Give us the rich houses with the sprawling driveways and full-sized candy bars any day. Portion control doesn't need to start this young.

[MarkL]

I once had someone give me spaghetti in a zip-lock bag for halloween—they had run out of candy. No joke. The next day, they were power-spraying tomato sauce and noodles from their vinyl siding.

One time I got a sealed clear bag of something that looked like ground beef. It turns out that the house was handing out dog food. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I seem to recall it was "related" to "Gaines Burgers."

Mark

[llevrok]

One year I went to a costume party, naked, with only a potato tied around my waist and hung in front

I was a dic tater

[copaliscrossing]

One year I went to a costume party, naked, with only a potato tied around my waist and hung in front

I was a dic tater

Reminds me of the old joke.....

"Why do the Russians circumcise their boys?"

"Because they wanted to have a bunch of dic...taters...."

Ugh, sorry for the bad joke.....

[Squidpup]

[weegee]

“Dentists and orthodontists should not be allowed to celebrate Halloween if they’re going to get all tooth doctory on us.”

My dentist takes the opposite view.

He is okay with people eating candy. And even crunching on ice cubes. Damaged teeth translate to more business opportunities. He’ll encourage good tooth care but knows that if he can’t convince you, he’ll get some work out of it in the end.

[weegee]

Candy Corn The most polarizing candy of all. The fruitcake of Halloween; it just never goes away. If you love them, fine. But don't subject the rest of us haters to the sickeningly sweet triangle that tastes like neither candy nor corn.

2 pieces is all you need.

With two pieces you can make fangs. And then the joke gets old.

[weegee]

Laffy Taffy I do not laffy when I get these. I sobby. I get depressedy. Because it gets all stucky to my teethy and doesn't even taste that goody.

I thought it has this name because their are dumb jokes on the packaging.

Is Laffy Taffy playing a joke on you?

A mysterious punch line printed on Nestle's iconic Laffy Taffy wrapper has sparked frenzy among enthusiasts of the sticky snack, over a joke that no one seems to get.

Is the joke on you? Watch the exclusive video and cast your opinion on this candy outcry.

[weegee]

"Yeah - my wife shows me last night the stuff she got to hand out at halloween and she plans to hand out these little halloween bags of pretzels - I told her “you’re cleaning up the toilet paper in the yard as a result of this”.

On the other hand, if you make another trip the store, yours could be the most popular house in the neighborhood...

some 8 oz beer cans and some mini bottles...

[weegee]

My father-in-law’s brother gave out scoops of ice cream once way back when he was in college ... yup, unpackaged scoops of ice cream dropped right into their bags.

I’d have to say that’s got to be way up there on the worst treat list.

It could get worse.

fat free Frogurt (frozen yogurt)

Yam Sorbet...

[weegee]

I was gonna pass out stock certificates but the kid will say “Are you kidding me mister?” :-)

The formerly rich kids from River Oaks are going to go out this Halloween and toilet paper homes with stock certificates.

[weegee]

That’s quite a collection. What’s it worth on ebay?

[weegee]

But still, who the hell gives out spaghetti for halloween?!

I agree, save it for Columbus or Marco Polo Day.

[weegee]

"Back at the home, every night ends with a slo poke."

[weegee]

I think we should take all the candy from all the kids and pass it back out equally. We can call it.....redistributing the candy!

It could be a learning experience for the kids. "And who would you be voting for this year?" "Obama? Well I'd like to implement one of his ideas and share your 'wealth' with the others in your group..."

[vietvet67]

lol

[weegee]

[weegee]

[weegee]

[weegee]