HAPPY BIRTHDAY Darksheare!!! |
May your Beeber never be Stuned and may a moose never bite your sister. |
I’m a pirate! That I be!
I sail me ship upon the sea!
I stay up late - till half past three!
And that’s a peg below me knee!
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Some men and women are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any scalawag who stands between them and unlimited power. You never met a man - or woman - you couldn't eviscerate. You are the definitive Man of Action, the CEO of the Seven Seas, Lee Iacocca in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. You're mission-oriented, and if anyone gets in the way, that's his problem, now isn't? Your buckle was swashed long ago and you have never been so sure of anything as your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off his head if he shows any sign of taking you on or backing down. If one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.
What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!
Give me all your gold,Matey.I’m a Wall st. pirate.
I’m “hooked”.
Yea!! It’s Friday again! I get to see my family for a couple of days, then I’m off to CA on another project.
Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C!
Q: What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!
What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_FqE0kgJBk
Subject: Aunt Karen’s story
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular type stuff, spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Ernie was left.
‘Ernie, do you have a story to share?’
‘Yes ma’am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.
She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last enemy with her bare hands.’
‘Good Heavens’ said the horrified teacher ‘What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?’
‘Stay the F@#k away from Aunt Karen when she’s drinking.
There once was a pirate so history relates.
Who was having some fun with his mates.
When he slipped on his Cutlass.
Which rendered him nutless.
And practically useless on dates.
Yaaaaarrrrr!
