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The Official Friday Silliness Thread |
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The Official Friday Silliness Thread |
its too early for silly.. how about a drink instead?
Charity Fail.
First page bump...
IT SEEMS I'M ALWAYS DOING IT WRONG
bttt
After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window.
The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole.
As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.
“Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!” she asks as she shook the older boy in anger.
“We were just playing ‘church’ mommy,” he said.
“And I was just baptizing him.....in the name of the Father, the Son and in...the hole-he-goes.”
Shamelessly stolen from the Texas page...
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. & says ; “Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!”
7 YEAR OLDS & Beer
A handful of 7 year old children were asked ‘ what they thought of beer.’
Some interesting responses.
But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass .and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, 'You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.'
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and as he rushed into Bubba's yard clutching a rosary preparing to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:
'You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish.'
50 QUESTIONS (are you willing?):
1) How much money is in your wallet?
$18
2) Do you still love your ex?
Nope.
3) What kind of car do you drive?
2005 Cadillac Escalade
4) Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes. I used to be a kickboxer.
5) Do you ever get depressed?
No.
6) When is the last time you cried?
Yes. See Question #4.
7) Ever been on a motorcycle?
Yes
8) Do you think your pretty/handsome?
No. Again, back to Question #4.
9) Do you go to church?
Nope.
10) If you have a driver’s license, what class? Any endorsements?
Yes-Class BM. M so I can drive a motorcycle, and B so I can drive the fire truck.
11) Do people usually like you?
I don’t know. They seldom run from the room screaming anymore, so I’ve got that going for me.
12) Are you emotionally sensitive?
In a cuddly, high-functioning, sociopathic sort of way.
13) What brand of shirt are you wearing now?
Archer
14) Do you smoke cigarettes?
Nope.
15) Did you shower today?
Yeah, that’s kind of a daily thing for me.
16) Are you closer with your mum or dad?
Mom.
17) Complete the sentence ‘By This Time Next Year’:
I’ll be about a year older.
18) Would you ever pose for Playboy?
LOL. No. Why do you keep asking questions that go back to Question #4????
19) What is your weapon of choice?
Concealable: Glock 40 cal, compensated.
Non-concealable: Flame thrower. (Insurance agent won’t allow that.) M-16 SPG.
20) Do you believe once a cheater always a cheater?
Sounds about right.
21) What is your goal for this year?
I’ve accomplished them: Finish fire school and EMT school and get my Search and Rescue certification.
22) Do you like to travel?
Yes, if there’s diving involved.
23) What is your favorite kind of food?
Right now, I’m having a major ice cream jones.
24) Can you cook?
Well enough that no one’s died from it…as far as I know.
25) What is your star sign?
Aquarius.
26) Where exactly are you from?
Torrance, CA, USA, Earth
27) Whats your favorite drink?
Pina Colada (…and let the jokes begin)
28) What kind of movies do you enjoy?
Comedy, Action
29) Have you gone muddin?
Not on purpose.
30) Have you played paintball?
Not the colorful type.
31) Do you have a close family?
ROFLMAO…no.
32) Do you have any big plans that will occur soon?
9th wedding anniversary. No really big plans, just a big event in our lives.
33) If you aren’t married, do you ever wish to get married?
n/a
34) Do you enjoy working at your workplace?
Usually.
35) Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
Nope.
36) What is your usual bed time?
10pm
37)Do you own a laptop?
Three home laptops, two work laptops.
38) Would you be ok with being a step parent?
Nope. Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt.
39) What are your living arangements?
Just me and my wife…just the way we like it.
40) What’s Something That Really Annoys You?:
Hypocrisy.
41) What was your childhood nickname?
hhhhmmm…I don’t think I had any. At least, none you could play on the radio.
42) What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
Can’t think of anything silly that I’ve done while driving.
43) Can you keep a secret?
Can’t really tell you that, now can I?
44) What do you do when you need to relax?
Poke at the logic holes of hypocrites.
45) Do you think it is OK to sometimes tell lies?
Yep.
46) Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
I might, but my wife would still be pi$$ed at her.
47) What is your greatest fear in life?
Being unable to save a loved one.
48) Favorite month and why?
June. It’s warm, but not stupidly hot yet in Texas, and folks don’t wear much. In some neighborhoods, that’s a great thing. In others, not so much.
49) Favorite color/colors?
Depends on the application.
50) Favorite Season?
Spring.
From the best of bollywood, with English lyrics (sort of):
Thriller:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtJRNyPK-lc
Benny Lava:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA1NoOOoaNw&feature=related
Moscau!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH8gtrD4_C4&feature=related