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Feeling Stupid??
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Posted on 07/03/2008 1:40:33 PM PDT by notaliberal

Stupid, naw, this is just politics again. If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,' --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.' --Mariah Carey

'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,' -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,' --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,' --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,' --A congressional candidate in Texas.

'Half this game is ninety percent mental.' --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.' --Al Gore, Vice President

'I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.' -- Dan Quayle

'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?' --Lee Iacocca

'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.' -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

'Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.'--Keppel Enderbery

'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.' --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Feeling smarter yet?

Send it on to your brilliant friends.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: iamsmart; reallystupidpeople

1 posted on 07/03/2008 1:40:34 PM PDT by notaliberal
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To: notaliberal

“’Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.’—Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina”

Hahahaha! Government bureaucracy is soooooo efficient! More proof we don’t need universal health care.


2 posted on 07/03/2008 1:46:35 PM PDT by djsherin
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To: notaliberal

bttt


3 posted on 07/03/2008 1:49:42 PM PDT by JamesP81 (George Orwell's 1984 was a warning, not a suggestion)
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To: notaliberal

“I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh...people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and...I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our...”


4 posted on 07/03/2008 1:54:12 PM PDT by JennysCool (They all say they want change, but they're really after folding money.)
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To: notaliberal

“I want you guys to line up alphabetically by height.”


5 posted on 07/03/2008 1:58:30 PM PDT by Doomonyou (Let them eat lead.)
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To: notaliberal

Human Carnivore: “If we stop eating cows, won’t they become extinct?”


6 posted on 07/03/2008 2:02:18 PM PDT by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: notaliberal

BARAK OBAMA STUPID QUOTES

“I’ve now been in 57 states — I think one left to go.” —at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon.

“In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died — an entire town destroyed.” —on a Kansas tornado that killed 12 people.

HILLARY CLINTON STUPID QUOTE

“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”


7 posted on 07/03/2008 2:14:10 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: notaliberal

“We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.”
- Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player


8 posted on 07/03/2008 2:14:25 PM PDT by kingattax (99 % of liberals give the rest a bad name)
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To: notaliberal
'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

To be fair, Joe was referring to a high-school classmate named, wait for it, "Norman Einstein."

9 posted on 07/03/2008 2:39:29 PM PDT by CPOSharky (Blaming CO2 for global warming is like blaming your thermometer for your kid's fever.)
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To: notaliberal

I’m sad about the Brooke Shields quote. She went to Princeton for goodness sake.


10 posted on 07/03/2008 2:56:28 PM PDT by autumnraine
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To: autumnraine

BARACK AWAY FROM OBAMA. MCCAIN IS BETTER!
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/o/obama-books.htm

“I ceased to advertise my mother’s race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites.”

This is an accurate quote from the introduction to Dreams from My Father. The book chronicles Obama’s experience as the son of an African father and an American mother.

“There was something about him that made me wary, a little too sure of himself, maybe. And white.”

This is a quote from Dreams from My Father. It it in a section in which Obama describes a job interview with a man in Chicago. Race had been a part of their discussion and the full quote is, “There was something about him that made me wary, a little too sure of himself, maybe. And white-—he’d said himself that was a problem.”

It remained necessary to prove which side you were on, to show your loyalty to the black masses, to strike out and name names.”

This one is also from Dreams from My Father. It is from a section when Obama was a college student and wrestling with his identity including as an African-American. The quote describes his observation of what was required among his fellow students.

“I never emulate white men and brown men whose fates didn’t speak to my own. It was into my father’s image, the black man, son of Africa, that I’d packed all the attributes I sought in myself, the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, Dubois and Mandela.”

This is from Dreams from my Father. The more complete quote is, “”Yes, I’d seen weakness in other men— Gramps and his disappointments, Lolo and his compromise. But these men had become object lessons for me, men I might love but never emulate, white men and brown men whose fates didn’t speak to my own. It was into my father’s image, the black man, son of Africa, that I’d packed all the attributes I sought in myself, the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela.”


11 posted on 07/03/2008 4:54:06 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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