5 Terrible Life Lessons Hollywood Loves to Teach You

Cracked.com ^ | 7/2/08 | CRACKED Staff, David Wiens

[Slings and Arrows]

WARNING: Strong language, disturbingly on-target.

[LukeL]

Along with life lessons we have the movie cliches like every bomb will have a huge digital readout counting down to zero, and the resulting explosion will chase you down a narrow hall way.

[Slings and Arrows]

Computers aren't evil. Computer scientists are. ;^)

[I still care]

6. The American military is full of corrupt, insane generals who want to kill everyone.

[kbennkc]

8. Prostitutes actually all have hearts of gold .

[Prole]

I enjoyed the article, especially the references to "War Games, "The Terminator" and "The Matrix" being hostile toward the advancement of technology.

However, it made no mention of why "In The Valley of Elah," "Lions for Lambs," and other similar garbage is detrimental to our National Security.

PS... Bullet 4 is especially relevant to the rampant narcissism in today's public schools. The mantra of "everyone is a winner" is echoed in the classroom, and reinforced through cinema.

Someone once posted here about hearing a group of schoolkids singing,

"I am special, I am special, look at me, look at me!"

Such egocentric nonsense will yield some tremendously broken spirits once these kids realize how expendable/disposable they are in the real world.

Hollywood plays up this false sense of reality by the individual making some amazing accomplishments in exchange for doing next to nothing.

[Prole]

You beat me to it!

[AF_Blue]

CLARIFICATION: Chris Nolan's Batman IS awesome. Tim Burton's Batman isn't.

[Slings and Arrows]

I agree.

[Slings and Arrows]

What happened to #7?

[GOP_Raider]

Maybe a generation from now we'll get that Yankees movie

Or more accurately, the remake of that Yankees movie

[valkyry1]

Engage SoundBlaster card programming mode

GETREAL

[valkyry1]

And Nuclear Bombs are very complicated... yet somehow they can be opened up in minutes with common tools. On the bomb there is always a digital LED counting the seconds down to detonation. And somehow it always comes down to whether you cut the red or the black wire.

[durasell]

Oddly, the first countdown was in a movie. Lang’s Woman in the Moon. It was later adopted by scientists...

[valkyry1]

That is intriguing and could lead off off into a stimulating thread upon its own. Oppenheimer quoted the Bhagavad Gita.

I think.., not there is anything wrong with that.., the scientists adopted that for their own.

[rightwinggoth]

don’t forget either that shooting a can of fuel will automatically cause a huge explosion.

[Randy Papadoo]

I deployed my hidden, secret powers years ago. Now I’m homeless and sick. WTF?

jk

[6SJ7]

PS... Bullet 4 is especially relevant to the rampant narcissism in today's public schools. The mantra of "everyone is a winner" is echoed in the classroom, and reinforced through cinema.

"The Incredibles" is a rare movie that plays against the stereotype of "everyone is a winner". Its a great animation too!

[RipSawyer]

“Prostitutes actually all have hearts of gold .”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I met a gal from Venus
her insides were lined with gold
she did what she did
said how was it kid
she was politely told
pretty good not bad I can’t complain
but actually
everything is just about the same

with apologies to John Prine who is left of me politically but is the world’s most amazing lyric writer

[mozarky2]

Michael Caine once said “If a whore had a heart of gold, she’d sell it”.