MORFORD: My handgun, my parasite

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 7/2/8 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

Never forget: The brutal effects of the Bush regime will be felt for generations -

Ah, so this is how it's gonna be.

Like recurring cancer. No, more like a rogue rash, an STD, flaring up at unexpected times and in unexpected places and when it fades, you gently let yourself forget all about it until it suddenly erupts and hits hard and ruins your day, and then you can only sit back and moan softly, slather on ointment, shudder.

Wait, one more: Maybe it's most like a nasty intestinal worm, a wicked parasite like those you suck down in India or deep Mexico or the jungles of Indonesia, the kind that burrow deep and attach to all manner of essential organs and induce a wicked bout of dysentery or all-over body convulsion, until you finally crawl out of the hospital and drown in antibiotics and slowly work your way back to semi-health — but only semi, because of course you are never quite the same.

This is where we are. This is the state of the nation after having swallowed the malicious worm of Bush. We have, by all accounts, suffered — and somehow survived — the very worst of the illness, the cancer, the oozing spirit. But now, as America's worst president prepares to amble off the stage he never deserved to be on in the first place, it is time to prepare for any number of convulsions, aftershock, excruciating reminders.

Here is your Bush-loaded Supreme Court, for one regrettable example, addressing the much-misinterpreted Second Amendment for the first time in eons. Here is the majority of the court basically arguing that, in case you forgot, much of America still blindly loves its guns,...

[an amused spectator]

Ooooooooh - Missy has got its panties in a twist!

Well, I will say that Missy KNOWS STDs, in ways that WE don't want to know about...

[TLI]

the very worst of the illness, the cancer, the oozing spirit. But now, as America's worst president prepares to amble off the stage he never deserved to be on in the first place, it is time to prepare for any number of convulsions, aftershock, excruciating reminders.

much of America still blindly loves its guns, and of course handguns are a nice addition to any God-fearing family's arsenal of ridiculous self-defense weaponry

loaded with sadness and a feeling of despair, the cruel notion that America is still defined by its love of violence

more paranoid NASCAR dads stocking Glocks in the rec room to protect the rug rats from those icky drug-dealing rapists who never come.

not to mention fondled by those same curious rug rats who find daddy's little Elvis in the sock drawer

the Bush virus will be with us for years, generations

nefarious arrangements, a corruption so deep that normally staid historians are behaving more like alarmed climate-change scientists:

a rogue outsourced military, citizens who can no longer sue gun manufacturers, six straight years of increased poverty, untold numbers of homophobic, misogynistic judicial appointees, devastating environmental policies

no president in modern history has done more to unravel the American identity, to dumb down the populace and cater to the basest instincts of man

the lesson of any major injury, of surviving a serious illness

ignoring the scar, or looking away from our permanent deformity

letting the scale of the wound fuel us

do we have enough optimistic ointment

WHEW! That is one sick puppy! I betcha one of his hobbies is to write daytime soap opera pilots while daydreaming about a sex change operation. Check this description...

Mark Morford is a columnist for sfgate.com and the San Francisco Chronicle. He also teaches yoga, subscribes to magazines, admires trees, detests shrill alarmism (including his own), sleeps naked. He has not seen your blog, but is sure it's amazing. He never wears sneakers. He writes about politics, pop culture, sex, music, design, a wry and punch-drunk universe, vibrators, scotch, media, spirituality and small European cars. And sometimes, genital grooming. Email him here. Subscribe to his Notes & Errata column here. Or dig into the RSS feed

Genital grooming? sick sick sick sick...

[an amused spectator]

I called the popcorn company, and they're sending a semi over right away.

;-)

[CDHart]

This guy is awful - I can't believe he finds anyone to publish him.

Carolyn

[NativeSon]

This is the state of the nation after having swallowed the malicious worm of Bush.

This is how the treacherous speak about our C N C? and when we are at war?

But using Barry's middle name or pointing out his lies are somehow racist/hateful/etc ?

We need to play hard and tough. These anti-American scum deserve no quarter!

[an amused spectator]

Missy prolly has a special industrial strength windshield protecting her keyboard and computer monitor, with windshield wipers going at top speed to clear the spittle off during the writing of a Chimpy McBusHitler column...

This is her brain on her boyfriend's crack... :-)

[LongElegantLegs]

This is the state of the nation after having swallowed the malicious worm of Bush.

And if anybody's an expert on swallowing malicious worms, it's got to be Morford.

[50sDad]

Here is the majority of the court basically arguing that, in case you forgot, much of America still blindly loves its guns...

...or rather, here is the nightmare of four judges who seem to think that it is perfectly allright to throw out the Second Ammendment (but you sure as heck better not trifle with the First, at least as far as it lets the libraries present unfiltered porno. It would be OK if we did like in Canada, though, where you Christian bigots are forbidden to even mention that God dislikes homosexuality.)

[Filo]

Posted in comments at SFGate and copied here for entertainment value:

Ahh, Mark. Still retarded and functionally illiterate after all of these years.

But at least you’re consistent. Gotta love that about you and the rest of the rabid (yet utterly brainless) left.

I know it’s hard reading, but the Second Amendment really does mean what it says: The right of the people (all of us, as in everyone, as in those who make up the militia) have a RIGHT to keep and bear arms and the government is forever enjoined from infringing thereon.

And guess what. The SCOTUS ruling doesn’t have any real power over that one way or the other. We the people do. . . with our guns if need be.

All that we learned last Thursday was that the Supreme Court is now as corrupt as the rest of our government. Four of our justices - the liberal ones, not surprisingly - violated their oath’s of office and deliberately misinterpreted the Constitution for political reasons.

That is a legacy that we will really never live down.

(Feel free to give me a thumbs up if you read this there! :)

[Billthedrill]

If you read it to the end you discover that Miss Morford is making excuses for an Obama failure that he and everyone else knows is coming. Apart from that it's the usual boring recitation of accusations that unaccountably his editors keep paying him for. Nice gig if you can get it.

This is a damaged human being living in a fantasy world filled with Republican boogeymen while the real ones get a pass. Should, heaven forfend, Miss Morford ever get mugged by one of those crack dealers he declared don't exist, rest assured he'll find a way to blame Bush for it.

Me, I'm pro-choice in the matter. I choose to have firearms. Morford chooses not to. I'm happy. He's miserable. Coincidence?

[mr_hammer]

“No, more like a rogue rash, an STD, flaring up at unexpected times and in unexpected places and when it fades, you gently let yourself forget all about it until it suddenly erupts and hits hard and ruins your day,”

Wouldn’t know Mark!

[y6162]

Correct. He’s exhausting to read. Drama queen doesn’t even begin to explain his style.

[y6162]

“This is the state of the nation after having swallowed the malicious worm of Bush.”

If I were Moford, I would stay away from using “swallowing the worm” as a descriptive phrase.

[Neoliberalnot]

Another screed from the lover of little boys. When will this sicko be removed from his membership in the pride parade organizers. Doesn’t he have some sort of lethal infectious disease by now?

[Neoliberalnot]

I see his latest picture is a bit cleaner than the last one I saw with the ring of fecal material bordering his mouth.

[CrazyIvan]

” stocking Glocks in the rec room to protect the rug rats from those icky drug-dealing rapists who never come.”

That's the whole idea.

I once had some lib arrogantly tell me that he couldn't understand why we rural rednecks were all armed to the teeth when there was no crime out there!

[SmithL]

Run-on-sentences

[SmithL]

The Comicle publishes him because he speaks for so many San Franciscans.

[an amused spectator]

I had a good friend in New York City
He never called me by my name, just hillbilly
My grandpa taught me how to live off the land
And his taught him to be a businessman
He used to send me pictures of the Broadway nights
And I’d send him some homemade wine

But he was killed by a man with a switchblade knife
For 43 dollars my friend lost his life
Id love to spit some beechnut in that dude's eyes
And shoot him with my old 45
Cause a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive

[Slings and Arrows]

Something about this mugshot reminds me why I love to club baby seals.