Posted on 06/09/2008 9:23:11 AM PDT by BoneHead
Having an affair can help to save a struggling marriage, according to a new, controversial self-help book. Mira Kirshenbaum, who has over 30 years' experience as a marriage therapist, says the 'right kind' of affair can be a positive thing, acting to "jolt people from their inertia".
The author of When Good People Have Affairs, published this week, argues that because society has so far failed to have a sympathetic discussion of infidelity, the positive sides of cheating have been ignored.
However, she insists that most cheating spouses should never own up, because revealing the infidelity is more damaging than keeping quiet.
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
Most philanderers are good, kind people, she argues, who are seeking real happiness and love.
And my favorite:
"You could think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator."
Well of course I thought the UK, Then I read the author is American from Boston.
You can't make this stuff up.
Such stupidity does not amaze me anymore.
Reads like a confession.
(1) Defiling your marriage will save your marriage.
(2) Adulterers are "good people."
Truly Satanic - a term I do not use lightly.
I think a more appropriate medical analogy would be taking a Jawbreaker for a tooth ache...
I had an affair once with my wife's sister. We enjoyed it very much until my wife found out. The affair cost me a broken jaw (my wife was in the Marines), a divorce and every penny I had them. Three years later from all that I can proclaim with utter confidence that your advice really sucks.
“she insists that most cheating spouses should never own up, because revealing the infidelity is more damaging than keeping quiet.”......
More damaging for sure when your wife cracks 20 pots over your head!
Well, I won’t advocate an affair, but the fear of a spouse straying certainly can have positive motivational effects to resolve issues that may be leading one to it.
Fear is a great motivator.
I’m calling BS on this one.
Well she’s right in one respect. With my first wife it did “jolt me out of inactivity” When I found out about her boyfriend I invited her to move out, when she did I invited myself to be single again. I accepted.
Luckily my wife doesn't know her way around the kitchen!
“Good” people do NOT have affairs.
Well I hope it’s cool to wear condoms.
she insists that most cheating spouses should never own up, because revealing the infidelity is more damaging than keeping quiet.......
What? And spoil the fun when you find out your spouse knew anyway, and the investigator has insured you support him/her for life? ... and a whole generation raised on Dr. Phil and Ruth Westheimer comes of age.
Every time I wore one I got hot and sweaty
Tearing down the nuclear family one rung at a time..
If I ever have an affair my wife will be a widow - right after she kills me in my sleep..
You need the super-ventilated ones.
They’re cool.
Ping.
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