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Why having an affair could save your marriage.
Telegraph.co.uk ^ | 06/09/2008 | By Laura Clout

Posted on 06/09/2008 9:23:11 AM PDT by BoneHead

Having an affair can help to save a struggling marriage, according to a new, controversial self-help book. Mira Kirshenbaum, who has over 30 years' experience as a marriage therapist, says the 'right kind' of affair can be a positive thing, acting to "jolt people from their inertia".

The author of When Good People Have Affairs, published this week, argues that because society has so far failed to have a sympathetic discussion of infidelity, the positive sides of cheating have been ignored.

However, she insists that most cheating spouses should never own up, because revealing the infidelity is more damaging than keeping quiet.

(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Religion; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: adultery; affair; infidelity; marriage; moralabsolutes; stupid; trust; vows
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And that ain't all folks:

Most philanderers are good, kind people, she argues, who are seeking real happiness and love.

And my favorite:

"You could think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator."

Well of course I thought the UK, Then I read the author is American from Boston.

You can't make this stuff up.

1 posted on 06/09/2008 9:23:12 AM PDT by BoneHead
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To: BoneHead

Such stupidity does not amaze me anymore.


2 posted on 06/09/2008 9:25:07 AM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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To: Resolute Conservative

Reads like a confession.


3 posted on 06/09/2008 9:26:17 AM PDT by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: BoneHead
Two interesting premises here:

(1) Defiling your marriage will save your marriage.

(2) Adulterers are "good people."

Truly Satanic - a term I do not use lightly.

4 posted on 06/09/2008 9:26:59 AM PDT by wideawake (Why is it that those who call themselves Constitutionalists know the least about the Constitution?)
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To: BoneHead
"You could think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator."

I think a more appropriate medical analogy would be taking a Jawbreaker for a tooth ache...

5 posted on 06/09/2008 9:27:26 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: BoneHead
From the thread:

I had an affair once with my wife's sister. We enjoyed it very much until my wife found out. The affair cost me a broken jaw (my wife was in the Marines), a divorce and every penny I had them. Three years later from all that I can proclaim with utter confidence that your advice really sucks.

6 posted on 06/09/2008 9:28:20 AM PDT by TightyRighty (I enjoy well-mannered frivolity.)
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To: BoneHead

“she insists that most cheating spouses should never own up, because revealing the infidelity is more damaging than keeping quiet.”......

More damaging for sure when your wife cracks 20 pots over your head!


7 posted on 06/09/2008 9:29:07 AM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: Resolute Conservative

Well, I won’t advocate an affair, but the fear of a spouse straying certainly can have positive motivational effects to resolve issues that may be leading one to it.

Fear is a great motivator.


8 posted on 06/09/2008 9:30:43 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: BoneHead

I’m calling BS on this one.


9 posted on 06/09/2008 9:31:14 AM PDT by San Jacinto
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To: BoneHead

Well she’s right in one respect. With my first wife it did “jolt me out of inactivity” When I found out about her boyfriend I invited her to move out, when she did I invited myself to be single again. I accepted.


10 posted on 06/09/2008 9:31:25 AM PDT by GT Vander (I may be retired, but I'm a Soldier 'till I die!)
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To: AngelesCrestHighway
More damaging for sure when your wife cracks 20 pots over your head!

Luckily my wife doesn't know her way around the kitchen!

11 posted on 06/09/2008 9:32:00 AM PDT by Phantom Lord (Fall on to your knees for the Phantom Lord)
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To: BoneHead

“Good” people do NOT have affairs.


12 posted on 06/09/2008 9:32:40 AM PDT by kalee (The offenses we give, we write in the dust; Those we take, we write in marble. JHuett)
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To: BoneHead; aculeus; martin_fierro; Larry Lucido; Billthedrill; Constitution Day; Ezekiel; ...
Marriage Counsellor
13 posted on 06/09/2008 9:33:24 AM PDT by dighton
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To: BoneHead

Well I hope it’s cool to wear condoms.


14 posted on 06/09/2008 9:34:12 AM PDT by Southerngl
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To: BoneHead
Was this research funded by the Clinton Foundation?
15 posted on 06/09/2008 9:36:11 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (the Clinton dream of being a two impeachment family goes right down the drain. - Letterman)
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To: AngelesCrestHighway

“she insists that most cheating spouses should never own up, because revealing the infidelity is more damaging than keeping quiet.”......

What? And spoil the fun when you find out your spouse knew anyway, and the investigator has insured you support him/her for life? ... and a whole generation raised on Dr. Phil and Ruth Westheimer comes of age.


16 posted on 06/09/2008 9:36:52 AM PDT by Whiplash (does anyone really, truly give a rip about this?)
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To: Southerngl
Well I hope it’s cool to wear condoms.

Every time I wore one I got hot and sweaty

17 posted on 06/09/2008 9:37:02 AM PDT by al baby (Hi mom)
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To: BoneHead

Tearing down the nuclear family one rung at a time..

If I ever have an affair my wife will be a widow - right after she kills me in my sleep..


18 posted on 06/09/2008 9:39:24 AM PDT by IamConservative (Character: What you do when no one is looking.)
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To: al baby

You need the super-ventilated ones.

They’re cool.


19 posted on 06/09/2008 9:39:31 AM PDT by exit82 (People get the government they deserve. And they are about to get it--in spades.)
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To: Charles Henrickson; weegee

Ping.


20 posted on 06/09/2008 9:40:27 AM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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