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Canned Bacon Guarantees Full Heart Failure in 24 Hours
GizModo ^
Posted on 06/04/2008 11:32:11 AM PDT by mnehring
Remember the canned cheeseburgers? Now you can make yours even more yummylicious with canned 100% US bacon, cooked and ready to eat. Actually, forget the burger: make your own bacon sandwich using two additional layers of bacon instead of bread. Each can contains all the vitamins and minerals you need to keep a healthy life while pretending to work in front of the computer, and you can even use the remaining fat to polish iPhones and assorted gadgets.
Each can comes with 40 to 50 slices of lipids and protein, produced using three pounds of raw bacon plus:
• water
• salt
• sugar
• smoke flavoring
• sodium phosphates
• sodium erythorbate
• sodium nitrite
That's all the stuff any human flesh-eating zombie needs. $110 will buy you a full package of 12 cans of tasty cholesterol, heart bypasses not included.
TOPICS: Food; Health/Medicine; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bacon; cannedbacon
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To: 2banana
41
posted on
06/04/2008 12:16:00 PM PDT
by
BJClinton
(I say potatoe, you say 57 states.)
To: mnehrling; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
42
posted on
06/04/2008 12:18:17 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
("Code Pink should guard against creating stereotypes in the Mincing Community." --Titan Magroyne)
To: BJClinton
Why waste the bacon?Would be more efficient to smear the bombs with bacon grease...
43
posted on
06/04/2008 12:20:02 PM PDT
by
JRios1968
("If you go over a cliff with all flags flying, you are still going over a cliff"--Ronald Reagan)
To: Southerngl
snicker at you for eating itMmmmmm.....Snickers and bacon. The breakfast of Champions!
44
posted on
06/04/2008 12:22:38 PM PDT
by
politicalwit
(AKA... A Tradition Continues...Now a Hoosier Freeper)
To: gdani
Christians are allowed to eat what they want. Jesus understood quality of life issues.
45
posted on
06/04/2008 12:22:44 PM PDT
by
joebuck
(Finitum non capax infinitum!)
To: JRios1968
Yep, know a fella that died of a brain anyurism (spelled wrong I know) while he was jogging. Dropped dead on the street.
My dad has had four heart attacks, told in 1984 he wouldn’t live 10 years. Told four years ago, six months to go. Eats AWFUL and drinks 10 diet soda’s a day. Yes, he is in poor health, but alive.
To: null and void; JRios1968; RockinRight; ClearCase_guy; EveningStar
Answer to null: Poi from Thailand — PING the rest of ya!
47
posted on
06/04/2008 12:26:16 PM PDT
by
Froufrou
To: Froufrou
48
posted on
06/04/2008 12:28:19 PM PDT
by
JRios1968
("If you go over a cliff with all flags flying, you are still going over a cliff"--Ronald Reagan)
To: Southerngl
Exactly. I only have to think back to my maternal grandfather. The man died in 1984...he was found in his house, lying on the floor after his liver literally blew up from all the alcohol he guzzled throughout his adult life.
He was rushed to the hospital and placed in Intensive Care, with tubes all over, trying to cleanse his blood. He only woke up once in the 3 weeks he was in the ICU...his first words: “I need a beer!”
Had I been there (and had I been of legal drinking age then,) I would have gladly handed him the beer. He died a few days after this.
Painful way for my gramps to die, but he enjoyed life.
49
posted on
06/04/2008 12:32:53 PM PDT
by
JRios1968
("If you go over a cliff with all flags flying, you are still going over a cliff"--Ronald Reagan)
To: ItsBacon; Bacon Man
Can’t believe nobody’s pinged these FReepers yet....
50
posted on
06/04/2008 12:34:33 PM PDT
by
TheSarce
(Why is John McCain running as a Republican? Just to torture us?)
To: mnehrling
I just got a great idea...
...Breaded deep-fried bacon.
51
posted on
06/04/2008 12:35:46 PM PDT
by
RichInOC
("Bring me a live hog over to the table! I'll carve off what I want and RIDE THE REST HOME!")
To: Bacon Man
52
posted on
06/04/2008 12:35:48 PM PDT
by
thackney
(life is fragile, handle with prayer)
To: RichInOC
<< Breaded deep-fried bacon >>
I’m in.
53
posted on
06/04/2008 12:36:54 PM PDT
by
BibChr
("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
To: RichInOC
..Breaded deep-fried bacon. In Tokyo I had some pork belly tempura at a street vendor. It would be along the same lines but was thicker and included the skin so it was like a very thick piece of bacon, along with cracklin, battered and deep fried.
54
posted on
06/04/2008 12:39:05 PM PDT
by
mnehring
To: Squawk 8888
Same Bacon, just repackaged in a new can.
55
posted on
06/04/2008 12:39:54 PM PDT
by
thackney
(life is fragile, handle with prayer)
Comment #56 Removed by Moderator
To: mnehrling
[cue Dan Castellaneta]
“Mmmmmm...breaded fried pork belly...”
57
posted on
06/04/2008 12:45:33 PM PDT
by
RichInOC
("Bring me a live hog over to the table! I'll carve off what I want and RIDE THE REST HOME!")
To: All
Google “chocolate covered bacon” and be surprised.
58
posted on
06/04/2008 12:54:19 PM PDT
by
WarToad
To: RichInOC; mnehrling
...Breaded deep-fried bacon. 
On a steek!
59
posted on
06/04/2008 12:57:24 PM PDT
by
uglybiker
(I do not suffer from mental illness. I quite enjoy it, actually.)
To: mnehrling
[Sorry, I just couldn't resist]
Bacon in the early stages of production.......
60
posted on
06/04/2008 1:02:28 PM PDT
by
ChildOfThe60s
(If you can remember the 60s........you weren't really there)
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