Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

What’s in your man drawer?
The Sun ^ | 20 May 2008 | MICHAEL McINTYRE

Posted on 05/20/2008 8:40:41 PM PDT by Daffynition

BRITISH men, having given over our houses to our wives, girlfriends and womenfolk, are defined by our one last place to survive . . . the man drawer.

I think it’s a little sexist to say women run the home.

It’s not that they take it over, it’s just that men don’t require very much. We require one drawer – this is a man drawer.

The man drawer is for general domestic maintenance and things we feel we may need in the future.

Lightbulbs. Should a bulb within the home blow, the man will search his man drawer.

Other things that may go in include batteries.

Batteries of undetermined life will be littered throughout. I don’t know how old batteries get there but they find their way in nonetheless.

We will also have instructions. They immediately go into the man drawer despite the fact we may no longer have the appliance to which they relate.

The problem with instructions in the man drawer is that they end up wedging the man drawer shut.

Sometimes you can’t open your man drawer – so you have this drawer responsible for maintenance and you can’t even get in it.

And often the tool you need to open your man drawer is in the drawer – even more frustrating as you tug at it.

Other things include foreign currency. Men feel that having earned money, we cannot throw it away.

So we hold on to it. The problem with foreign coins is you pretty much know you’ll never need access to them again.

I don’t know whether it influences your decision as to where to holiday – “I think we should go back to Spain because I have pesetas and I could buy you a newspaper in the airport on the way home.”

But now the euro has come so all the foreign currency we have is useless.

But still we hold on to it in case certain countries decide to relinquish the euro and we will go: “Fabulous. We should immediately go to Corfu and buy milk.”

The next thing we have is a variety of keys, including ones from places where we used to live. We don’t even know what they open any more.

It could be the key to an old shed or a locker but something about the key is just too mysterious and magical to throw away.

Alongside those keys are radiator keys. These are used to bleed radiators – a job only men can do because if you get it wrong you will be scalded in the face so we won’t let women do that.

Another huge section is Allen keys. Allen Key is a man, I believe, of Swedish origin – someone who developed the Allen key.

Outside of radiator keys, keys to your old home and Allen keys would be long keys used to secure the tops and bottoms of drawers.

I don’t even know what they are called but we have them in the man drawer alongside string.

String is there for suicide. Every man needs to know he can end it at any given time.

Takeaway menus are very important. Should we need takeaway food, the man has it covered.

I know in my house the kitchen is my wife’s but when we need to order cuisine in I will fetch menus from my man drawer.

These consist of an Indian menu and a Chinese menu whereupon, despite the huge choice, we always order exactly the same thing.

Every time we go through the process of taking out the menu and reading it only to confirm we want the same thing we have ordered throughout our eight-year relationship.

One last man drawer essential.

We hold on to mobile phones and chargers – man drawers are like mini mobile phone museums.

Many even have mobiles from the Eighties.


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: banglist; drawer; man; mandrawer
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-86 last
To: wastedyears
> I saw a Stratocaster at Guitar Center in NYC, that they were trying to sell for $75,000. It must have been one of the very first run of Stratocasters that Fender put out.

Wow, that's outta hand.

Granted, I'm a Gibson man; I don't quite get the fascination with the Strat line. They're fine guitars, but they don't turn me on as a player.

Some years ago, when I decided to have a Strat-style guitar with the classic triple-single-coil pickup layout, I had one custom built (black walnut body, Modulus Graphite neck, Bartolini stacked-single-coil pickups). I love that guitar, but friends who play Strats tell me it's nothing like theirs.

I've played guitar for close to 45 years, and I'll bet I've only picked up and played a real Strat twice. Just never saw the appeal, since I could get the sound I wanted more easily from other models.

To each their own. But I sure wouldn't pay $75 grand for one.

81 posted on 05/21/2008 6:28:23 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 69 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

http://www.stratcollector.com/newsdesk/archives/000337.html

This might explain a bit.


82 posted on 05/21/2008 6:42:12 PM PDT by wastedyears (Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. - Optimus Prime)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 81 | View Replies]

To: dayglored

I’ll be fine with an American Series, left-handed, Seymour Duncan Distortion humbuckers in the bridge and neck positions, with a Floyd Rose tremolo.


83 posted on 05/21/2008 6:44:59 PM PDT by wastedyears (Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. - Optimus Prime)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 81 | View Replies]

To: wastedyears
> http://www.stratcollector.com/newsdesk/archives/000337.html This might explain a bit.

Yep, it does.

I have a bass-playing buddy who is a lifelong collector (guitars, amps, vinyl LPs, magazines) whose collection was worth at least a million bucks, right up until his house caught fire. Yes, they were insured. But geez, he never got around to playing probably half of 'em. They just sat and made money for him.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. He's a lot better off than I am. ;-)

84 posted on 05/21/2008 6:59:08 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 82 | View Replies]

To: wastedyears
> I’ll be fine with an American Series, left-handed, Seymour Duncan Distortion humbuckers in the bridge and neck positions, with a Floyd Rose tremolo.

Ni-i-i-ice.

Sounds like a hell of a rocker. 'Course, those Seymour Duncans can play some mean Country too. ;-)

85 posted on 05/21/2008 7:01:09 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 83 | View Replies]

To: absolootezer0

I don’t even have the words to describe how utterly ridiculous articles like this are.

Or how ridiculous are the men that let it happen.

I bought my house, I pay for my house, I put whatever I want wherever I want inside my own house.

I am a grown man and I will not shrivel up and be glad that Mrs Envisio “lets” me have a drawer to put my stuff.

...ain’t gonna happen in my house.


86 posted on 05/22/2008 7:31:43 AM PDT by envisio (If you ain't laughin yet... you ain't seen me naked. 8^O)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 68 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-86 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson