Posted on 05/20/2008 8:40:41 PM PDT by Daffynition
BRITISH men, having given over our houses to our wives, girlfriends and womenfolk, are defined by our one last place to survive . . . the man drawer.
I think it’s a little sexist to say women run the home.
It’s not that they take it over, it’s just that men don’t require very much. We require one drawer – this is a man drawer.
The man drawer is for general domestic maintenance and things we feel we may need in the future.
Lightbulbs. Should a bulb within the home blow, the man will search his man drawer.
Other things that may go in include batteries.
Batteries of undetermined life will be littered throughout. I don’t know how old batteries get there but they find their way in nonetheless.
We will also have instructions. They immediately go into the man drawer despite the fact we may no longer have the appliance to which they relate.
The problem with instructions in the man drawer is that they end up wedging the man drawer shut.
Sometimes you can’t open your man drawer – so you have this drawer responsible for maintenance and you can’t even get in it.
And often the tool you need to open your man drawer is in the drawer – even more frustrating as you tug at it.
Other things include foreign currency. Men feel that having earned money, we cannot throw it away.
So we hold on to it. The problem with foreign coins is you pretty much know you’ll never need access to them again.
I don’t know whether it influences your decision as to where to holiday – “I think we should go back to Spain because I have pesetas and I could buy you a newspaper in the airport on the way home.”
But now the euro has come so all the foreign currency we have is useless.
But still we hold on to it in case certain countries decide to relinquish the euro and we will go: “Fabulous. We should immediately go to Corfu and buy milk.”
The next thing we have is a variety of keys, including ones from places where we used to live. We don’t even know what they open any more.
It could be the key to an old shed or a locker but something about the key is just too mysterious and magical to throw away.
Alongside those keys are radiator keys. These are used to bleed radiators – a job only men can do because if you get it wrong you will be scalded in the face so we won’t let women do that.
Another huge section is Allen keys. Allen Key is a man, I believe, of Swedish origin – someone who developed the Allen key.
Outside of radiator keys, keys to your old home and Allen keys would be long keys used to secure the tops and bottoms of drawers.
I don’t even know what they are called but we have them in the man drawer alongside string.
String is there for suicide. Every man needs to know he can end it at any given time.
Takeaway menus are very important. Should we need takeaway food, the man has it covered.
I know in my house the kitchen is my wife’s but when we need to order cuisine in I will fetch menus from my man drawer.
These consist of an Indian menu and a Chinese menu whereupon, despite the huge choice, we always order exactly the same thing.
Every time we go through the process of taking out the menu and reading it only to confirm we want the same thing we have ordered throughout our eight-year relationship.
One last man drawer essential.
We hold on to mobile phones and chargers – man drawers are like mini mobile phone museums.
Many even have mobiles from the Eighties.
The man drawer is the place you put pocket parts.
Now I have to define “pocket parts”.
When you assemble something, like a bike, or furnature, or a sink, you always have parts left over.
Every man knows that the manufacturers put extra parts in the box in case you lose some of them. Every woman knows that the extra parts are left over because you are inept, and did not assemble it correctly. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.
At any rate, these parts are “pocket parts”, because you put them in your pocket so as to not alarm the female supervisor in your life. Then a few days later, you slip them into the man drawer.
......Bob
But I have several of those drawers.
There's something horribly wrong with that.
Yep. Maybe handguns’ll make a comeback along with the codpiece.
Naw, not at all...I was merely pulling your fin :-)
It was an easy line to miss, particularly considering that they placed an utterly irrelevant ad for a comedian after the article and above the request for photos, and so those of us who have trained our eyes to automatically skip over ads will likely miss it.
I only noticed it because I was scrolling down to the 'have your say' area to see if the Sun readers had any worthwhile commentary. As usual, the FReeper commentary is far better :-)
Perhaps I should post a description of a 'stoat-drawer' there just to tick them off and start a fight? Descriptions of a stainless .44 mag with NO TRIGGER LOCK will most likely not go over too well.....
"snicker"
C6
Nice Webley.
Can I triple-dog-dare ya to post a pic to the Sun? ;-D That would be great!
Thats Hot.
Can I triple-dog-dare ya to post a pic to the Sun? ;-D That would be great!
Well, a true, bona-fide triple dog dare is one that I can rarely refuse.
Now if I can only find my Magic 3-D stoatcam....it's been awhile since I've seen anything buxom enough.....errr, excuse me, "cough" "cough" INTERESTING enough to to warrant using it....I know it's not in one of the handgun drawers, there's no room there....it may take me awhile to find it.... "sigh"
I’m going to hold you to the dare ...I’m a patient sort .....;)
Man drawers? Heck, I have a man shed. 12X36, and crammed to the rafters!
Oh lawd...well, I can guarantee you that it's not gonna happen tonight....it's been a long day and this furry varmint is sleepy. Perhaps tomorrow after work....it's been literally months and months since I've taken a photo but I need to find it anyway, what with bikini season errrr...."cough" "cough" excuse me, SUMMERTIME fast approaching.
I wonder though, if some hysterical, hard-Left Socialist limp-wristed staffer at the Sun sees it and "interprets it as a threat" if he/she/it gets a photo of a drawer full of guns from some Yank?
I don't need a visit from the FBI at the stoat cave, I barely have enough whisky for myself, certainly not enough for twenty SWAT team guests......
If my man ever said 'Fabulous' or instructed me to 'go buy milk immediately', I would pull the Glock out of my woman drawer and beat him with it.
And yes, I have. :-(
If my man ever said 'Fabulous' or instructed me to 'go buy milk immediately', I would pull the Glock out of my woman drawer and beat him with it.
ROTFLMAO!!!
You simply MUST re-post that at the "have your say" area following the original article at The Sun. The photo example of a 'man' drawer as well as much of the verbiage in the article suggests to me that the author sniffs at the notion of changing a car tire because it would get his hands dirty.
Probably a euro-twit who 'sashays' when he walks.......
Nice grips in the upper right-hand corner.
I always called those ===> DamnedifIknow parts . . .
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