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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
I'D HIT THAT ^

Posted on 05/16/2008 5:31:07 AM PDT by Lucky9teen



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; idhitit; ofst; silliness
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To: QBFimi2

Agreed!!! I always thought there should be a game show called “Who Wants to Take Target Practice at Regis Philbin?” Thought they could use paint ball guns. Guess that wouldn’t be very PC though, would it...


61 posted on 05/16/2008 7:50:12 AM PDT by Hoffer Rand (0bambi: the audacity of hype)
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Photobucket
62 posted on 05/16/2008 7:50:55 AM PDT by girlscout
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To: rock_lobsta

That her high school photo?


63 posted on 05/16/2008 7:52:39 AM PDT by Hoffer Rand (0bambi: the audacity of hype)
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To: Hoffer Rand

Baby picture.


64 posted on 05/16/2008 8:05:31 AM PDT by rock_lobsta (Not Your Ordinary Crustacean.)
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To: rock_lobsta

LOL.


65 posted on 05/16/2008 8:11:09 AM PDT by Hoffer Rand (0bambi: the audacity of hype)
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To: Lucky9teen; potlatch; martin_fierro; devolve; Grampa Dave; jaycee; nicmarlo; tomkow6; ...

66 posted on 05/16/2008 8:15:07 AM PDT by Lady Jag (You can contribute to FR any time at https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)
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To: JRios1968
Wow, I did better than I thought...I barely passed High School

You paid attention during 74% of high school!

68-84% Pretty good, you know that there are libraries and newspapers, and you remember what you've read. You were a child that wasn't left behind!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz


67 posted on 05/16/2008 8:19:44 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Note to McCain: The voters are not united FOR you, they are uniting AGAINST Clinton/Obama)
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To: Sax; girlscout

Sometimes I watch that show “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader”, and I feel so silly when I don’t know the answer. Man, I don’t remember it being so hard.


68 posted on 05/16/2008 8:23:20 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Note to McCain: The voters are not united FOR you, they are uniting AGAINST Clinton/Obama)
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To: Lady Jag

69 posted on 05/16/2008 8:24:37 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Note to McCain: The voters are not united FOR you, they are uniting AGAINST Clinton/Obama)
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To: Lucky9teen

70 posted on 05/16/2008 8:28:23 AM PDT by JRios1968 ("If you go over a cliff with all flags flying, you are still going over a cliff"--Ronald Reagan)
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To: SeaHawkFan
I got 97% and went back until I found out which one I got wrong.

I thought Immaculate Conception referred to the conception of Jesus, they said it was the conception of Mary.

71 posted on 05/16/2008 8:36:04 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE, regardless of whether it was the old-style Chicago political corruption change or the Washington two-step change just as long as change occurred! The chicken demanded obamaesque type of CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure— right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicke n, but we have not yet been allowed to have a ccess to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C%

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

(and my personal favorite)
DICK CHENEY:
Where’s my gun? Chicken Under Glass is on the menu tonight.


72 posted on 05/16/2008 8:36:26 AM PDT by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: Lucky9teen

He didn’t like the casserole

And he didn’t like my cake.

He said my biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn’t perk the coffee right

He didn’t like the stew,

I didn’t mend his socks

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked the sh*t out of him...

Like his mother used to do.


73 posted on 05/16/2008 8:36:36 AM PDT by llevrok (I don't think outside the box. There is no box in my world.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Country Funeral Story

As a young minister in Kentucky, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be buried there.

I was not familiar with the backwoods area, and I soon became lost. Being a typical man, I did not stop to ask for directions. I finally arrived an hour late.

I saw the backhoe and the open grave, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. The digging crew was eating lunch. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and I stepped to the side of the open grave. There I
saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, as I told them that this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around the grave and stood silently, as I began to pour out my heart and soul. As I preached about “looking forward to a brighter tomorrow” and “the glory that is to come,” the workers began to say “Amen,” “Praise the Lord,” and “Glory!” The fervor of these men truly inspired me. So, I preached and I preached like I had never preached before, all the way from Genesis to Revelations.

I finally closed the lengthy service with a prayer, thanked the men, and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I heard one of the workers say to another, “I ain’t NEVER seen nothin’ like that before, and I’ve been puttin’ in septic tanks for thirty years!”


74 posted on 05/16/2008 8:37:36 AM PDT by llevrok (I don't think outside the box. There is no box in my world.)
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To: girlscout
You paid attention during 100% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

I certainly did NOT pay attention during 100% of high school! I've learned a few things since then, plus a couple of wild guesses did the trick.

75 posted on 05/16/2008 8:41:09 AM PDT by Steve0113 (Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -A.L.)
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To: Lucky9teen

76 posted on 05/16/2008 8:41:20 AM PDT by CougarGA7 (Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
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To: girlscout

Wow. That’s Od.


77 posted on 05/16/2008 8:43:38 AM PDT by CougarGA7 (Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
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To: Lucky9teen

78 posted on 05/16/2008 8:51:36 AM PDT by Girlene
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To: girlscout
MOM! This pink gangly thing is on my baaaack!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

79 posted on 05/16/2008 8:57:03 AM PDT by Sax
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To: Izzy Dunne

Then I got the same one wrong. If I had spent a little more time and recalled that Roman Catholics refer to Mary’s immaculate conception, I’d have gotten it right.


80 posted on 05/16/2008 9:02:39 AM PDT by SeaHawkFan
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