Volcano Releases One Trillion Cow Farts Into Atmosphere

The Peoples Cube ^ | 5/14/08 | Red Square

[laotzu]

Environmental dissident: If you believe that our planet is a self-aware living organism with a superior god-like consciousness, why is it so hard to imagine that Mother Earth is intentionally producing greenhouse gases for its own obscure purposes, and your emission caps are getting in the way? See what you've done? Now Mother Earth had to erupt a f**king volcano to compensate for the drop in f**king cow farts.

[lormand]

The hell with cow farts, what about human farts?

Human farts are major causes for divorces, broken relationships, car wrecks and in some cases explosions.

For every human fart, the offender should be made to buy one spruce tree as a carbon offset.

:)

[vietvet67]

“Human farts are major causes for divorces, broken relationships, car wrecks and in some cases explosions.”

Doesn’t make the cat happy either.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAzGVeJc5_I

[Daffynition]

[PugetSoundSoldier]

One trillion cow farts... About equal to the methane released at your local Hooters during Monday Night Football...

[alloysteel]

This is all coming back around to advancing the socialist agenda, isn’t it?

Socialist governments do not keep any oversight on industrial processes. Theefore, mankind produces more various greenhouse gas compounds, thus requiring the earth spirit Gaia to produce less to restore the balance, and reducing the need for volcanos to erupt in the first place.

[ErnBatavia]

Pffffft.

[Secret Agent Man]

Screw how the cat feels. I’ve had to clean their litterpans. That can be brutal on the schnozz.

[andy58-in-nh]

Brownhouse gases.

[Cyber Liberty]

I wonder if the same poster who was whining about my use of the SOB phrase will come in here and whine about your use of the word "fart?"

;^)

[AngelesCrestHighway]

Chile’s Chaiten Volcano released a gigantic cloud of emissions composed of ash, steam, smoke, and various oddball gases whose estimated amount equals to one trillion cow farts, a UN-sponsored climate change study revealed....

Ah see?....the U.N. is good for something....counting cow farts!

[lormand]

So is there a fart ping list now? :)

[Sacajaweau]

I'm old. I'm getting worried. I've reverted to childhood but no one burps be...and well....I've become very "musical".

I'm getting afraid....very afraid....that the government will start taking something out of my SS check to cover my emissions.

So I sneak them. They have to catch me first. Sometimes I stand by the garbage truck, sometimes a lawn mower..Should I write a book? What would be a good title?

[BuffaloJack]

I assume that a “Cow Fart” is now a standard unit of volume. Does anyone have conversions units from “Cow Farts” to cubic inches (feet, meters, etc.?

[ErnBatavia]

So is there a fart ping list now? :)

You nailed it exactly...as you can surmise, it's small, thankfully...

[ErnBatavia]

So I sneak them. They have to catch me first.

I'm old too, but when you get a "walk fart", it can be tough to hide. My sister in law calls that phenomena "free farting"...

[lormand]

"You nailed it exactly...as you can surmise, it's small, thankfully..."

I'm guessing it's also low volume too. :)

[JustaDumbBlonde]

[steelyourfaith]

:)

 

Beam me to Planet Gore !

[wazoo1031]

I love the emoticon!!! How do I get that?! Anyway, about farts, kitty cats don’t do them often but when cats float the proverbial air biscuit it’s worse than “period farts”, which I don’t need to go into, as “period farts” are more disgusting and more akin to swimming in raw sewage...Ewww! Can cabbage blush?