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Posted on 04/30/2008 11:44:25 PM PDT by Soaring Feather
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SCIENCE
Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad).
The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.
However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it came into contact.
According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, viceneutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass".
LOL!
Back in the 70s I only had to multiply it by two. By the 80s it was by four. Now it's by two + to the next highest unit.
The Dems have made us poorer in more ways than just money.
Night owls get to see good stuff!
I am doing better thanks, meds are doing the job.
Momma must have been out hunting for the babes. I love your critter news, reminds me of rural life. We do have raccoon here in the city, they crawl around the sewer lines, I have seen some big raccoon walking the streets at night.
RanDUMB Thoughts from My "Voices"
The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life.
How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
How do they get deer to cross at those yellow road signs?
You can meet friends anywhere, but not enemies. You have to make them.
If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?
NOOOO!!!!
I've been picking them out and EATING THEM!!!
Gee, Tom, the Voices are making sense! LOL
Thanks, tomkow..Good thoughts.
QUIZ!!!
If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions:
an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
Answer: The out-of-tune bagpipe player.
The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.
Quiz Time!!
Everybody ready for a little quiz????
This is based on U.S. info, so use all lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see!
There are 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think-- it just shows you how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life.
Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer!
Can you beat 20?? It is nearly impossible for any normal person to get higher than a 20 (The average is 7). Write down your answers and check answers (posted LATER) AFTER completing all the questions.
REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! BE HONEST!!! NO GOOGLING!!!! That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...
LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE. - If not, just have fun!
Here we go!
1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)
7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?
14. Which way do fans rotate?
15. How many sides does a stop sign have?
16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
17. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?l
23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
LOL!
Hey Tom, I just open my Indiana Jones Spoon flashlight, came in my Shredded Wheat. I don’t know what the thing is for- I know where my mouth is, maybe it is to help me know what I am eating. :0)
LJ'S DEEP THOUGHTS
- When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
- Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
- It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
- I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "LJ, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know where sleep is." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said, "I thought I told you to go to sleep."
- I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.
- When I woke up this morning my boyfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."
- Earlier today I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
- One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TVs all over the world.
- I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
- I went into this bar and sat down next to a good looking guy. He looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on." I said, "Yeah, I know, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."
- I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. You turn on the record, put the headphones on and learn Spanish in your sleep; during the night the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
- Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
- There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
- I bought a dog the other day, he's really smart!...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
- I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
- The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation...go figure
- If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
- If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
- Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
- I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals.
- I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use... Toothpicks?
- Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do_ write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
- How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
- Clones are people two.
- If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
- If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
- If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
- So what's the speed of dark?
- How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
- After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
- If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- I just got skylights put in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious
Going out for a while, getting me hairs done.
BBL
LOL, you got yours, too?
I love it when that happens! :-D
Hey, there’s a few lefties in that one.
I know most all of them except lowest # on FM and how many VHF.
Where would those hairs be?
Mine says "Fuschia."
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