***The OFFICIAL Weekend Singles Thread*** April 18-20 - Those Difficult Conversations

April 18, 2008 | WFTR

[WFTR]

Welcome to the Weekend Singles' Thread!!

We all have certain conversations or kinds of conversations that we thoroughly hate. On a singles' thread, maybe the first one that comes to mind is the "just friends" talk. Most of us hate to be on either end of that one. Maybe a few people enjoy giving that talk but not receiving that talk. I don't want us to focus on just that conversation, but I want to throw open the general topic.

What accident was I in and what head injury did I have that made me come up with this subject? Well, I'm in a book club at work, and our book for the second quarter is called Difficult Conversations - How to Discuss What Matters Most. I don't want to jump into that book on the singles' thread, but I will bring up one or two ideas. Mostly, I want us to talk about what we think makes a difficult conversation. I'm curious whether a group of people being asked to consider the issue will have similar ideas to those of the book's authors.

With that idea in mind, here are the first questions around this topic:

What makes a difficult conversation difficult?

Can you give some examples?

Are there any tips that you've found that have helped you with a particular kind of difficult conversation or with difficult conversations in general?

What do you see as the pros and cons of holding difficult conversations in person? by phone? by e-mail? by snail mail?

Do you think internet forums are more likely to make a conversation difficult or less likely to make a conversation difficult?

One point that I will explore from the book is the idea that "Who's right and who's wrong doesn't matter." The book makes this kind of statement in a few places. Occasionally, the book will admit examples or situations where right and wrong do matter, but the general emphasis is neutrality. Do you agree that right and wrong don't matter? Do you think every difficult conversation involves an issue of right and wrong? If you see right and wrong as relevant, does raising the "right and wrong" aspect of the situation always make things better?

[WFTR]

I’m sorry you had to work this morning and really sorry that your only sign of spring is more snow.

[My hearts in London - Everett]

Have to take the work hours where I can get them. :~) The bookstore I work at is down 25% in traffic from last year same time.

[WFTR]

Do they know why? Is that loss going to be a long-term threat to your job? Do they have a plan to change things?

[My hearts in London - Everett]

"Do they have a plan to change things?"

Let's see, cutting overall weekly employee hours for stores nationwide, suspending tuition reimbursement, no pay increases for hourly employees this year, suspension of bonuses for store managers. That's the short list that I know for fact. It doesn't affect my job so far as I'm the only one in the store that does my job and I can easily pinch hit other positions, but they cannot fill mine.

As to why? In weekly conference calls the DM asks store managers for their ideas for the decline in traffic and conversion rates and... silence. They don't want to say.

[Allegra]

For those who went to church this morning, what was the sermon about? For those who didn't, did you get to do something fun?

Yes, I went to church this morning - to a beautiful new cathedral in downtown Houston. See, I'm all bitter, so I'm clinging to my religion and all. And guns, too. ;-)

The sermon (homily) was about letting God take you to where you are supposed to be. Very interesting. Then I went to brunch with some friends.

2. What signs of spring did you see this week?

Wildflowers all OVER the place! Beautiful colors. Being that this is still my first week home, the flowers are just that much more lovely to me.

3. Will you bother to watch the coverage of the Pennsylvania primaries?

I've seen scads of preliminary hype without even trying. I will not attempt to watch the coverage, but I probably won't be able to avoid it completely, either.

[WFTR]

Where do you work?

[My hearts in London - Everett]

Family Christian Bookstore

[WFTR]

LOL You're bitter because you've been unemployed all of this time. The good times are passing you by. (Seriously, I hope you aren't giving up too much financially in order to serve.)

Yep, I'd forgotten how many wildflowers bloom over there at this time of year.

[WFTR]

Ah, I'd forgotten about the Christian bookstores. I was reading something recently about Barnes and Noble slowly beating out Borders, Books-a-Million, and the other big chain book stores. Is there another national competitor involved?

[Allegra]

Oh, they actually compensate us pretty well to dodge mortars, rockets, bullets, etc. while we work. ;-) It's not like that all the time, though, but it sure was as I was leaving and has been quite a bit in the past.

I don't do it for the money...I got into it and now I feel like I should see it through as best I can. It's sort of become a pet project for me, if that makes any sense. LOL

I'm taking a couple months' respite now. It's hard work and I needed a break. I intend to enjoy every minute of it.

[My hearts in London - Everett]

Not that I'm aware of. I know we are stealing (I mean borrowing! lol) marketing techniques from several of them lately! :~)

I believe it's just consumers being wary of which direction the economy will go. With all the bad financial news lately and not knowing how the upcoming presidential race will turn out, it's hard for the average person to be optimistic, IMO.

[Froufrou]

Late to the party, sorry.

1. Didn’t go to church and felt bad about it, again. Worked hard on little repairs at home and watched NBA finals.

2. Signs of spring are my bearded iris in bloom and some pesky aspy bites from the new patio furniture [made in China.]

3. I can hear the PA primaries on Today show in the other room. That’s as close as I may get to watching them.

[Froufrou]

The one we had was a loaner from hub’s boss. The clip was bent and I replaced it but then he wanted it back. I’m not sure what kind it was; it held 10 or 15 rounds. I really should buy another one, but they can’t be used to get your CHL so I’m undecided.

Yet, they are fun to shoot and I actually improved my accuracy at the range using one. I had a bad scare the first time I fired a gun, having been given a Glock and not expecting that it-fired-backward-into-my-chest feeling. Luckily, there was a 5-time int’l champ there who coaxed me into trying a .22 and ‘saved’ me from total gunfear.

[airborne]

Answers to post # 2.

1) It’s fine how it is. Besides,... It’ll take more than a forum or chat room to get me back in the pool.

2) Depends on the day. Sometimes a bear and sometimes a bull.

3) As keeper of the ‘Hockey Ping List’, I must point out that there are many hockey fans here. And I’m the biggest Penguins fan of them all!

[KC_Conspirator]

Being newly re-introduced into the singles life only about a year or so ago, I came across a new discussion that I had never had:

"Are we exclusive"?

Sheesh, I had no idea. Not a clue that somehow this was supposed to be some milestone in a relationship. Heck it has been a decade of dating and marraige to the same person, so I never had to do that.

[WFTR]

I have a friend who was over there most of the past year in the Marine reserves. He commented about how some assignments were very tame. He knew guys who saw little more than they'd see on a drill weekend. He talked about them going out to Subway for lunch every day almost like a normal job in the states. He said that other assignments meant constant danger. You seem to have seen the whole range yourself.

While I can't understand exactly what you mean based on my own experiences, the part about the pet project makes sense. Iraq is a major battleground in a bigger war. If we win there, we come closer to winning the whole war. Our enemies have expended tremendous resources to make Iraq a loss for us. That expenditure makes our victory that much more valuable. Those who play a part in ensuring that we win will have played a big part in the events that shape the world and our country's place in the world. You are playing a part in something that will be a major historic event. If my life had put me in that kind of situation, I'd want to see the effort to a successful conclusion as well.

Enjoy your time off. You've earned your fun and the thanks of your fellow citizens.

Bill

[WFTR]

I have to admit that I’m not very optimistic about things. Of course, I’m so cheap that pessimism can’t change my spending habits that much. I’m looking at a few big ticket purchases, but I’m trying to limit trips made on $3.49 gas or purchases of stupid things that I’m just going to dump later.

[WFTR]

The iris should have already bloomed and gone around here, but I never noticed any. I remember that iris around Oklahoma City were always gorgeous when I lived there in the early 90’s.

[WFTR]

Glocks are okay, but I would never start someone firing one. I'm surprised that the .22’s aren't allowed when qualifying for a CHL. I used a .38, but I don't remember anyone being prohibited from using a .22. There's a new .32 magnum that is being promoted right now, but I'd start with a .38 if I weren't sure what to use for CHL qualifying.

[WFTR]

We had someone else on this thread who is a big-time Penguins fan. GOP_Raider is a Sharks fan, and I follow Dallas.